My 4 year old son keeps choosing mostly girls characters, anyone with kids who have been through this?

[Leonor888]

Hi Mums. I have a 4 year old son that since 3 yers and a few months chooses girls characters from movies to pretend play. He keeps the days pretend playing and mostly he only chooses girls in the movies. When he is playing these characters (all of them, animals, whatever) he can’t be called by his name. So it’s the same, when he’s a girl we can’t call him a boy. His Dad is getting upset and this is really hard to deal with. He also loves cars, dinos, trucks, fighting... I love my son above everything but I am worried that he wants to be a girl. I just would like to know if there are other kids/boys going through this, because from what I hear from other mums and kids boys are really ‘masculine’ and love superheroes.
Thank you.

I don't really see the issue, he's only 4 why can't he play pretend without being labelled? If he has regressive gender stereotypes about boys and girls pushed on him he's going to feel like he can't be himself and play with what he enjoys.

I have one like that. We feed that stereotype of “boisterous boys” and “boys rough and tumble”.
Couldn’t be further from the truth in my house.

They are individuals like you and me, embrace it and don’t force anything. Give them the options to play with what they want and I’d give DH a Stern talking to about it. He’s being a dick. So what if his son doesn’t like dinosaurs.

Sorry just re read. He does like dinosaurs.
So he likes a bit of everything, embrace it. Embrace his passions and his loves.

Your kid is not the problem, your DP's response to the kid's playing is the problem.

Let the kid play!

This isn't a problem. Your child's dad is the problem.
Just let the poor child play the way they want to.

Yes my ds went through this and at nearly 7 still loves frozen it’s never been a problem just who he is… your Dp is the problem they are children it’s about the only time you can do what you want and not care what other people think please don’t give him hang ups about it.

Honestly, this is completely normal and part of him exploring role play, imagination and creativity. I hate how quite society is these days to brand this sort of behaviour as indicative of anything different in a 4 year old. Your DH's attitude doesn't sound particularly helpful mind.

*quick

I wouldn't let it worry you. Perfectly normal for boys and girls to want to pretend to be lots of dirrerent characters. I allowed all ours to dress up or pretend to be who/whatever they wanted to be and I would involve our son in pampering like painting nails if he wanted to. Dad was a bit miffed at 1st but then he allowed them to paint his nails too.
Dad needs to relax.

Does your husband also upset that your son sometimes pretends to be an animal character, or is only pretending to be a girl character that's "upsetting". At 4, your son doesn't see the difference.

(and should add that my 4 year old son likes being boys, girls, animals and the other day decided he was a hoover for a good hour or two!)

Completely and totally normal. If you make a big deal out of it, or let anyone else, then you’ll have a problem.

My 2 year old boy is obsessed with role play and is often a baby, a t-Rex, a car, a mummy…

When we were kids my sister and I were always boys when playing and we made our brother be the girl and dressed him in our dresses. No idea if he enjoyed that or not, we didn’t really give him a choice 😂. We never actually wanted to be a boy, we were just exploring other characters. As adults we all conform to general gender stereotypes.

His father had been angry with him several times, told him he wasn't a girl and freaks out everytime he says he s one, which is almost everyday when he s playing... I freaked out with the father but this is horrible. Sometimes I just think about getting divorced.

My 5yo DS is all about Elsa and Anna 🤷 he loves singing let it go. I just leave him to it as he is happy. That is all that matters.

I don't see it as a problem at all. One minute he think he's Sky from Paw Patrol and the next he thinks he's a fully qualified Fire Fighter. Either one, it's just make believe.

Non problem, stop expecting you son to live up to some silly ideals and enjoy being being a kid.

I'm a proud mum of a boy with great, waist lengh hair and a girl who'se tougher than most men. Gender norms are a prison.

No-one should be freaking out at a 4-year old (unless they are trying to jump off a cliff or something).

Yes they are!!!! Sometimes just hate our society. What do you think I should tell my son to say if kids laugh at him in shool when he s playing these characters?

It’s your partner who has the problem, not your son.

We have photos of my son in ballet leotards with skirts, fairy wings, witch's cloaks, princess outfits, and body suit with bust (OK, that one was a bit odd!).

We have photos from decades back of my brother in his favourite red velvet dress when he was 4. Good thing he liked it, as it was meant to be mine and I hated it.

He's playing. It's fun.

Your partner is a dick and you seem to projecting some issues too. Why do you believe anyone is going to laugh at him? The children I teach embrace all sorts of imaginary play.

I taught a child who pretended he was a helicopter all day every day.

Other children probably won't even bat an eyelid about it at this age. It's all make believe. Most are incredibly tolerant. Not so much by high school age though...

@candycane222

No-one should be freaking out at a 4-year old (unless they are trying to jump off a cliff or something).

Maybe I shouldn't mention that the same brother thought he could fly, if he only got the wings right, and would jump out of trees and off walls to test it?

Don’t be so daft. My sister alway played boy roles - she even has a boy name for herself (and me) when we did imagination play.

What’s wrong with a boy channeling his inner Princess or a girl role playing Batman?