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Original poster

Christmas with a newborn?

56 replies

jellybeanellie · 25/07/2021 20:06

Hi, my first baby is due 5th November and we're stuck on what would be easiest for Christmas. Will see in laws a week before which should be straightforward but my parents live 2 hours away.
They're really flexible and happy to either come to us and do everything for us, or have us to them and do everything at their place! Wondering what would be easiest - having them at our house and feeling I still need to tidy and clean, or doing the two hour drive with a newborn??

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breakfasty · 25/07/2021 20:08

Have them come to you. Don't tidy or clean.

breakfasty · 25/07/2021 20:09

They can come early and cook the dinner too :)

30degreesandmeltinghere · 25/07/2021 20:09

Embrace the opportunity to start your own traditions as cheesy as that sounds!! I also had a ds one November the 5th!! Wouldn't have entered my head to travel anywhere!!
Offer up visiting times and let those who want to accept...
And those who don't miss out on a squishy baby at Xmas!
Seriously when your dc is past toddler age they will want to be at home with their new stuff not stuck in a car...
Xmas is to appease dc not adults imo!

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Pissinthepottyplease · 25/07/2021 20:10

Babies under 6 weeks are only supposed to be in their car seats for 30 mins at a time so it will be a long journey.

Rainallnight · 25/07/2021 20:10

Have them come to you, no tidying or cleaning. Get a cleaner in the day before if you really want it looking nice but otherwise they shouldn’t judge.

They should cook Christmas dinner (if they’re able bodied etc), otherwise just get lots of M and S stick in the oven stuff

3ormorecharacters · 25/07/2021 20:11

We had a week old baby last Christmas and my parents came to us. My mum brought all the food, served it and cleared up. She is particularly brilliant though!

sadperson16 · 25/07/2021 20:12

You are worrying about this now because?

Notaroadrunner · 25/07/2021 20:12

Do you really have to spend Christmas with them? Why not just have Christmas in your own house without visitors? No cleaning, no packing up the car, eat what you want and maintain whatever routine you'll have by then.

MaggieFS · 25/07/2021 20:12

Get them to come to you and lose the feeling you need to tidy and clean. Make the most of it.

And if you really can't, go to them.

AliceW89 · 25/07/2021 20:13

Do you need to make the decision now? Ideally, I’d wait and see what the baby is like and how feeding/sleeping are going etc. If you need the decision now though I’d say get them to come to your place, take the travelling out of the equation, just in case.

Original poster
jellybeanellie · 25/07/2021 20:22

Not worrying at all, just wondering what the norm is with it being our first. Thanks for the advice!

OP posts:
FizzingWhizzbee123 · 25/07/2021 22:18

We had a newborn this year. We decided to have the in laws come to us (although it ultimately didn’t happen as Covid cancelled Christmas!). We have an older child too and it seemed infinitely easier to not have to pack up everything a baby needs and take it with us. Better to be at home with everything we need. Don’t worry about cleaning or get a cleaner in for a couple of hours if you can. Order everything premade from M&S so you just need to throw foil trays in the oven, or better yet, get the in laws to pitch in. Depending on how helpful relatives are, it can be useful to try and limit the length of visits rather than trying to entertain guests all day.

IonaLeg · 26/07/2021 03:53

I went to my in laws with my newborn, and it was lovely - so much help with the baby, and we were really looked after. They live close by to us though.

I would go and stay with your parents and just break up the journey with rest stops along the way.

BikeRunSki · 26/07/2021 04:19

@breakfasty

Have them come to you. Don't tidy or clean.
This
DisneyGirl2387 · 26/07/2021 10:49

I had a November baby last year. For me, I would personally go there. I know people say don't clean and 'host' but for me I would be on edge in my own home if I felt it wasn't tidy/clean/hadn't cooked which I know is a bit ridiculous. Little babies only need a you and a safe place to sleep. I would go there so that you can be waited on hand and foot. Just take your time with the journey and have lots of stops on the way to get baby out of the car seat. If you can stay the night then even better! We went to my inlaws last Christmas (we did stay socially distanced as it was in the middle of the pandemic) but it was so lovely to have cups of tea and food bought to us on a regular basis. X

Floopyandtired · 26/07/2021 11:43

My first DS was 6 weeks old on Christmas Day and we chose to go and visit family (both live in the same little town as us) purely because we could control when we arrived and left. Also I wasn’t up for having visitors because my house was a bomb site. I knew that if my in laws stepped foot in my house they would plonk themselves on the sofa and not leave til midnight… I just couldn’t hack that!

Holly60 · 26/07/2021 11:51

@Rainallnight

Have them come to you, no tidying or cleaning. Get a cleaner in the day before if you really want it looking nice but otherwise they shouldn’t judge.

They should cook Christmas dinner (if they’re able bodied etc), otherwise just get lots of M and S stick in the oven stuff

This. Also ask them to bring their own bedding so you don’t have to make up bed or strip it after. As a DGM I think this is more than reasonable and would offer it in the circumstances
Cr17 · 26/07/2021 11:56

100% have them come to you if they are happy to!

Cosybelles · 26/07/2021 12:00

I'd rather go to my parents, so that I didn't have to dick about with spare beds/bedding/towels/getting food in etc!

Original poster
jellybeanellie · 26/07/2021 13:00

Haha thanks everyone, seems there's a 50/50 split! Parents would be more than happy doing everything for us here, bringing own bedding is a great suggestion @Holly60. We'll just see how we feel nearer the time I guess!

OP posts:
elenacampana · 26/07/2021 13:12

Our baby is due Nov 2nd OP. We’ll be away for it a couple of hours away as a trip for my mum’s birthday (Dec 24th/her 60th) was booked before we knew we were having the baby. I’m looking forward to not being at home for it and around loads of other people who’ll do everything 🤣

NavigatingAdolescence · 26/07/2021 13:16

DD was born mid-Oct and her first Xmas we drove 5 hours for a week in a holiday cottage with friends and their kids. Highly recommended.

(DH’s family were 5 hours away in the other direction and we took DD at 6 weeks old. Journey took 8 hours but was fine. They’re very portable at that age. We stay in hotels when we go up there.

My parents lived abroad but kept a house here. We just visited them whenever they were back during December or January for some food.)

Keep it as simple as you can, I would. I certainly wasn’t running around after people when DD was so little.

cookiecreampie · 26/07/2021 14:45

I'd personally have it just you, your DH and baby.

Garman · 26/07/2021 14:48

My second dc was born mid November and we travelled 3.5 hours to my parents for Christmas, much easier to do that than have to host in ours and do all that work etc. But my dh works every day except the 25th of December so that did colour my decision, all the prep work would have fallen to me.

BertieBotts · 26/07/2021 14:49

It totally depends on whether your parents are a help or a hindrance.

If they are helpful, let them come to you.

If you'll feel under pressure, go to them or even skip this year and go next year.