Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Christmas with a newborn?

56 replies

jellybeanellie · 25/07/2021 20:06

Hi, my first baby is due 5th November and we're stuck on what would be easiest for Christmas. Will see in laws a week before which should be straightforward but my parents live 2 hours away.
They're really flexible and happy to either come to us and do everything for us, or have us to them and do everything at their place! Wondering what would be easiest - having them at our house and feeling I still need to tidy and clean, or doing the two hour drive with a newborn??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 26/07/2021 14:53

When DS was 4 weeks old it would have been much easier to stay at home. DS hated the car seat, screamed the entire time he was in it so a 2 hour journey would have been impossible. Get them to bring the main course. You provide shop bought starter and dessert.

ChannelJackieWeaver · 26/07/2021 14:54

If it was closer I would say go to them- no work for you. But it will be tricky to travel that far with a newborn. I would say "host" but they do the food/ get a takeaway.

Heartofglass12345 · 26/07/2021 14:54

See we had a newborn at Christmas a few years ago and he had spent a few days in hospital the week before as well so was late sorting stuff out. We had Christmas Day at our house and my family came over in the afternoon but we just did quick buffet stuff (open packets and stick on the table lol)
Boxing Day we went to my in laws for the day and they did everything because it's their house.
If it was me having people over for dinner I'd still be inclined to want to cook/ tidy up etc so I'd rather go somewhere else lol

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations Families General parenting

MoreAloneTime · 26/07/2021 14:55

Do whatever is easiest for you OP.

Two weeks before my first was born I had my in laws visit and was a total slob of a host to set expectations for after the baby was here

sunglassesonthetable · 26/07/2021 14:58

Babies under 6 weeks are only supposed to be in their car seats for 30 mins at a time so it will be a long journey.

Wow! for journeys?

Well this wasn't invented when mine were babies😬 Tbh we went all over the place with them when they were babies. They do seem ok now.......

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 26/07/2021 14:59

@Notaroadrunner

Do you really have to spend Christmas with them? Why not just have Christmas in your own house without visitors? No cleaning, no packing up the car, eat what you want and maintain whatever routine you'll have by then.

Absolutely this!

Get a load of prepared stuff from M&S and start your own Christmas traditions!

We don’t have people over while the kids are so small. If we fancy loading the car up and going to the park on their new bikes and some fresh air, we can. If we are still too full from breakfast so have to eat later, we can. If we fancy putting our new pyjamas on and watching a film, we can.

I make sure we have plenty of family time and plans around Christmas but we make Christmas Day just for us.

Twixxed · 26/07/2021 15:02

If they really will do everything for you and you won't feel under pressure to prep/clean/host then I'd have them to yours. Usually I'd say DON'T HOST but it sounds like they will do the hard work for you anyway!

gogohm · 26/07/2021 15:15

It's down to you, I went to my mums mostly because it was hassle free. We flew 10 hours with dd (6 months) for first Christmas so mum sourced everything we needed borrowing from friends

DrCoconut · 26/07/2021 15:32

Provided that the baby isn't late it will be about 6 weeks old. As long as you have recovered well there is no physical reason not to travel and if everyone will pamper you and give you a great Christmas it's an option. However if you prefer to stay at home no one will blame you and it's a perfectly legitimate choice. Maybe decide nearer the time when you have more idea how things are going.

majesticallyawkward · 26/07/2021 15:38

I had ds mid-November and went to my mums for Xmas- we stayed over so we weren't driving both ways the same day and everything was taken care of. We also had 4yo dd so it was nice to have other people to play with her through the day too.

I'm very happy to spend Christmas with my family so it's never been an issue travelling, and I'd much rather have someone else cooking Christmas dinner!
From about 3 weeks I was making the drive (even after EMCS and a week in SCBU), it's only on mn I see this insistence that a new mother must not travel at all and no one is permitted to visit.

Crowsaregreat · 26/07/2021 15:42

Mmn there are factors for and against! My firstborn was due 12 Nov or so, 2 weeks late and one week on the ward meant we weren't home for long before Christmas! We went to my DP about 45 min away. The journey was fine but we didn't participate as much as usual due to being insanely tired, going to bed early to maximise sleep and having to generally see to the baby the whole time.

You might want to factor in the house layout and who has the thickest walls. Your parents might not want to lay awake listening to crying through the night, you'll all end up tired and cranky. Also if one of you has an open plan place that might be better for you to sit with the baby and still talk to whoever is in the kitchen.

An alternative would be for your parents to get an airbnb near you where you can see them in the day but you go home at night. Depending where you are, it might be a cheapish option that means no travel, no cleaning and your DP get decent sleep.

Micemakingclothes · 26/07/2021 15:52

Stay home.

You don’t want to make plans that obligate you to travel when you or the baby just aren’t happy about the situation. Sure there are moms who bounce right back and easy babies who can handle anything, but most of us mere mortals are just surviving at the six week mark.

It’s also really useful to set the precedent that your child is not going to spend holidays being dragged from place to place.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 26/07/2021 16:00

it's only on mn I see this insistence that a new mother must not travel at all

People who are advising against travelling that far aren’t trying to limit the activities of the mum, they’re following the guidelines for car travel with a newborn.

www.madeformums.com/news/newborn-safety-in-car-seats/

Iseeyoulookingatme · 26/07/2021 16:01

Make them come to you op. You will be exhausted from looking after your newborn. When my son was 3 months old we went to exh mums and I wished we had stayed at home. I wanted to go and have a nap while ds was sleeping and I couldn't. Half way through lunch ds started crying and only wanted me so I couldn't put him down etc etc.

Ohshittt · 26/07/2021 16:04

My baby was born 4 weeks early the week before Christmas, my mum came to us and we cooked a full on dinner. I actually felt up to it and we had a lovely day. It may be just because we only had the one guest it didn't feel as intense but don't automatically assume you won't want to host. Husband helped a lot though. I would say it will also be much easier to be at yours where all babies things are, you could buy a ready made dessert and some pre prepared veg to help you out as well.

ISeeTheLight · 26/07/2021 16:07

My DD was born late November, 2 weeks late
For Christmas we drove to Belgium (from London) to stay with my DM for a week. It was great. Didn't have to do anything and we could really relax. The car journey worried me somewhat but it was fine.

Terrazzo · 26/07/2021 16:08

I have a 6 Nov baby 😍 lovely snug time to have a newborn. That first Xmas we stayed home and then travelled down to my parents (3 hrs ish) a few days after. But we had already been down to them a few weeks before too so family could meet the baby (elderlies who can’t really travel!).

firstimemamma · 26/07/2021 16:10

For our first Christmas it was just the 3 of us and it was perfect.

leakymcleakleak · 26/07/2021 16:14

our first was similar age her first Christmas, and our second will be born end of November this year.

The first Christmas we had both sets of parents call in and did an entirely M&S dinner: nobody needed to stay over thankfully. We had a horrific night the night before, got about three hours sleep between us. Nobody expected much but in retrospect we were just not equipped to have a full on Christmas. But that was one v bad night on top of a bad week of sleep - it could have been different. This time, we'll have a 3 year old and a 4 week old (ish) and so will be hoping for grandparent distraction! But may go back to the M&S dinner on order, or just having parents call in morning/afternoon respectively, and get them both to spend an hour with the toddler playing with new toys while baby and we nap if at all possible. I really had it in my head last time I wanted a proper 'first Christmas' with everyone there and it was daft. I would get people to come to you, but basically make sure house has a deep clean in November and there is zero need to do any running around. You may well already have your routines/things you need, I would not have been up for the packing needed for an overnight at that stage. I would have got there and realised I needed breast pads/special nipple cream/the baby thermometer and they'd have been at home and impossible to replace.

SuziLikeSuziQ · 26/07/2021 16:14

I had DS unexpectedly on Christmas Eve. My parents cooked at home, then came to ours and brought all the food and presents round. I just sat there, fed, got given food and drink and could just chill!

If they're too far, they can cook at yours. Honestly - do nothing! Don't go to them and don't "host"!

unsureofneighbour · 26/07/2021 16:15

Change it up and do Christmas at home as a new family. It will eliminate any future 'we saw you last year' arguments and if your family grows it will make your own days much easier too.

GetOffThatTable · 26/07/2021 16:30

What do you usually do? See this as an opportunity to set future Christmases up.

I think the idea of your parents coming to you is lovely especially if they bring their own bedding and a make the bed which is surely just putting their own sheet on, throwing on their duvet and pillows.

However, in future are you going to want to divide the day, spend Christmas eve with one set and boxing day with the other. This isn't just about your current Christmas but about travelling with a child/children in the future.

My sons are 18 and 15 and it is hard to open all the presents here, have to leave them behind to then go to a Grandparent's house and open more presents there. Then we move on to another set of Grandparents, so the presents from the first set are in the boot of the car. Sadly due to work schedules this is the only available option if I wanted to see certain family members as their busiest time of year in their jobs is Christmas.

However, we do then have a follow up afternoon and evening with each family a few days later where they come here.

GetOffThatTable · 26/07/2021 16:30

Sorry obviously as teens it is easy to leave presents, not so easy when they were 6 and 3 for example

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 26/07/2021 16:34

stay home where you have everything you need.
especially if you end up with a C-section or baby is late you don't want any extra hassle.
I had 2 babies in Dec, the one closest to Christmas was a C-section so you couldn't have paid me to move a finger!

don't worry about mess. as long as there is somewhere to sit people only will care about baby!😁

NoNameIdeas · 26/07/2021 16:40

Our dc2 was 12 days old last Christmas, dc1 was 4 years. We don't tend to see dh family often, they just dropped gifts at the door. We saw my parents on Christmas Eve so they could give presents to dc1 etc (normally go to church but no service) and we had a take away. We then spent Christmas Day at home on our own, my mum delivered us a full on Christmas dinner in dishes so we could still have a proper meal without cooking anything! She also collected the dishes later on so no washing up either! Was lovely to be at home without any pressures.
Saying that we had been to see Father Christmas and to a light festival with both children in the run up...

Flip

1 2 3