Is it normal for toddlers to be so demanding?

[peaches35]

I have a 15 month old boy who is going through a horrible shouty phase. We go to the park and as soon as he sees me rummaging in my bag, he shouts and shouts and stretches his hand out (because he wants some item from the bag). He sees me using my phone and he does the same thing, because he wants to play with my phone. If I put him in his highchair and dinner takes just a couple of minutes to bring over, he will start shouting about that. And most recently, whenever I stop the pram for a minute to rest or whatever, he will shout and stretch his hands out as if demanding to come out.

Is this normal behaviour for a toddler his age? I was kind of expecting it when he hit the terrible twos but not at 15 months! Just wondering where my lovely, placid boy has gone

It's a ride awakening isn't it?

**rude

Seems normal to me, although this is my first experience of a 16 month old!

I think their understanding is so far beyond their verbal capabilities they just get frustrated. Once he’s able to make himself understood it could get a bit easier?

Ha yes! Should I do anything when he does this? Like tell him “no” or anything? Or is it pointless as he’s just too young to understand?

Yep sounds normal!

It's normal.

Just talk to him and explain what's happening. 'Dinner is coming! You have to wait a minute!' 'We're not getting out the buggy here, when we get to the playground' etc etc.

The more you talk to him the sooner he'll be able to talk back to you. The shouting/screaming is just communication, you just need to model back at him the correct way to do things.

Yep mine are 2 and a half and 18 months... and believe me! They are the most demanding bosses I've ever had 😅

The grumpier my DS gets, the more annoyingly cheerful I become. It's the only way I can cope.

Yes and it gets worse.. sorry lol
The bigger they get the bigger the demands 😜

Mine is also 15 months and we call her The Raptor because she sounds like something from Jurassic Park when she wants something. Has proper foot stamping tantrums when she isn't allowed to do something wildly dangerous.

I mentioned to the HV at the 13 - 15 month check about the tantrums and she said 'well, it is a bit early for tantrums, maybe it'll finish early?'

I bet it doesn't. My sympathies OP!

Ah yup this sounds entirely normal! Mine started the terrible twos at bang on 16 months and it was as much of a shock for me! Things we found helpful included teaching her to use words instead of screaming - ours had just about started to say a couple of words at that point. So when she would scream we would say - 'we don't scream- say please' etc. And then of course make a huge fuss and give her whatever if/when she did it - it didn't take her long to learn that screaming meant we didn't give her the thing and saying please meant she got it - although we still need to reinforce that constantly if she's in a bad mood/is really frustrated (she's two and a half now I'm sorry to tell you 🙈) but that made the biggest difference I think. Obviously if she's crying because she has hurt herself or something that's fine, it's the screaming to get something we wanted to discourage. Also someone on here said about saying yes as much as possible - even if you mean no! Like if they're yelling for dinner- 'oh yes you want your dinner! What a great idea - mummy will just dish it up and then you can eat it up - remember we do patient waiting though.' A lot of it is frustration at thinking you don't understand what they want/are refusing to give it to them, so verbalising what they want shows you understand what they are trying to communicate and you are agreeing to do it, they just have to wait a second. I think the main thing to remember is just that they are just learning cause and effect, and the only way they had of causing you to do something as a baby was crying. They have now worked out that that is making you do things, some of which they like so they'll carry on using the crying tool until you teach them more effective ones. So at this point if you want them to wait/take turns/show you they want something without crying, that needs to be taught. Just because they're not talking much doesn't mean they don't understand so it's never too early to talk about the behaviour you want!

Toddlers are dicks.

Turdlers.

@MonkeyPuddle 😂😂😂
My youngest is a Charlie
Charlie Manson I call him he's a proper little 💩

I feel you. The first thing my toddler said to me when I went into his room this morning was:

'I want a banana. You go get it. Right now.'

Thanks!

@Jennyz123 the thing is DS is not really verbal yet - he certainly wouldn’t be able to say please or ask for something nicely! So do I just put up with the yelling (whilst explaining what I’m doing, and that it’s good to say please and hoping that he’ll grasp that eventually) until he can talk more? Or do I tell him “no” when he starts yelling?

The only thing that worked with my son was if I said oh is that a plane? I'd look up at the sky and point and he'd look up and forget what he was grumpy about. There never was a plane. He must've thought we lived near Heathrow.

@HollowTalk haha it's
"Listen is that a fire truck"
He runs to the window or looks about (this is my youngest)
Oldest just looks at me now like yeah whatever mum I'm onto you!

My 13 month old is like this at the minute and it's driving me crazy
She has taken to chucking herself around---- and sticking her fingers down her throat.
All I keep telling myself is Iv been through this 3 times before I can do it again----

No idea why that last but is strike out

Yeah

Yup I would just keep on reinforcing it even if they're not saying it yet - my LO literally had like 4 words by this point. So I think - 'no, we don't scream' in a firm voice followed by 'you could say please' in a happy voice is good. It might be ages before they pick up on it (mine didn't seem to be taking it in at all)but if you just keep repeating it every time they'll get it in the end!

@HollowTalk you’re an actual genius. I’m logging that tactic for when DD (8mo) starts pulling this shit 😂

You don't need to say no at that age. Keep it positive.

Just model back the correct behaviour.

Toddlers channel the Devil. I have a 2.5 year old and it's a good thing I love him, because he pushes my bitch button about 200 times a day.

"NO, Mummy!" is his answer to everything. Today I said he looked happy and he screamed back "I am NOT happy!" Sometimes he calls me "the witch". Thanks Room On The Broom!

I'm sure it's some kind of karmic thing, following on from what we put our parents through.

Thanks all. DH feels it’s important to immediately say a firm “no” if he starts shouting when we’re out for a meal. Or if he starts getting really shouty for no apparent reason (like me just stopping the pram for a minute!)