Really struggling with my 3 year old hitting. For context since birth he has been the most relaxed and easy child. We barely got any tantrums when he was 2. Since he turned 3 it's been a bit more challenging and lately I am just so out of my depth. he only ever hits his dad and I, no issues at nursery at all, he's super happy, has lots of friends, gives the teachers lots of cuddles...
There are occasional one-off hits with us if we say something that upsets him but he usually says sorry straightaway as he realises what he has done. I guess his impulse control is immature so I don't mind those as much.
But lately his tantrums have turned into full on rage where he will just step towards us and hit us repeatedly, again and again. If we move away he will follow us and hit again. He will often go bright red with rage and also scream things like "go away" or "I don't like you, you're not my friend" and often say we are naughty and have hurt him (we haven't).
What's the best way to deal with this? When we ignore, he gets more mad, but when I respond calmly he also gets even more mad.. he'll often scream for me so it's like he needs my help to deal with his emotions but îf I get near him he'll hit or throw something at me.
It's just awful, I don't know what to do anymore, I want my lovely boy back and feel like a failure as clearly it must be my fault... this week we've pretty much had one of those every day, the week before that he was an angel and we didn't have a single one. There seems to be no logic...