I feel that there is something not quite right with ds

[summersflowers]

Ds is seven months old. When I had him, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. But when I tried to feed him he struggled to latch. We had an absolutely awful night in hospital with him latching, then falling off the breast, getting frustrated …

When he was weighed at day 4 he’d lost 12% of his birth weight and he was put on a feeding plan which obviously pretty much signalled the end of breastfeeding, although I didn’t want to give up. I thought it might be a tongue tie so found someone private to snip it but it made no difference - he just couldn’t latch on.

Eventually I gave up. But for months he could only tolerate tiny amounts in bottles. At four and a half months he was still having the same size he had as a newborn and he just couldn’t manage any more. Even then he’d throw up a lot.

The HV weighed him at 5.5 months and unsurprisingly he’d dropped a centile. He still can’t have more than 5oz at a time. She recommended starting to wean him. And just as with the breastfeeding, it isn’t happening. People say cheerily things like ‘oh my baby was the same … have you tried giving him bits of toast he can hold?’ They don’t seem to understand he eats nothing. Give him a bit of toast and he holds it then drops it and shows no interest in picking it up again. If I try to spoon feed him he clamps his lips shut.

Daytime naps are fine but night time is awful. He wakes and refuses to go back to sleep. He’ll fall asleep on me and then refuse to go back in his cot. Last night he screamed hysterically even though I was with him holding his hand. Again most babies I know are doing longer stints by now.

It just doesn’t seem quite right to me. He’s a lovely baby. But something isn’t right.

Has he been assessed by a qualified lactation consultant for tongue tie? Is he meeting his other milestones?

Both my girls would still only be cuddled and held when asleep at that age. That’s fairly normal.

This isn’t me being awkward but how? Did you hold them all night long?

The TT specialist was a lactation consultant. I don’t really know about his other milestones to be honest - as far as I can see.

Keep pushing. Your instinct is valid. I knew a little girl like this many years ago and it turned out she had quite serious digestive issues and it must have been some kind of preservation instinct not to eat very much.

Thanks @BertieBotts, but who do I see?

I took a photo of him yesterday with a baby pretty much exactly the same age and in fairness she didn’t look notably bigger. And she eats really well. The problem is she is able to crawl while ds can’t yet and I do think once he can get around independently if he is still having just formula he may well lose weight notably.

Has he been assessed for the usual things like reflux and cows milk protein allergy? Also agree with @BertieBotts - your instincts are entirely valid. Best of luck

Definitely keep pushing, go to GP and ask to be referred to a paediatric consultant. They are so dismissive sometimes when there isn’t an obvious problem but you know your baby and you know something isn’t right. FWIW if I’d given my 5 month old a bit of toast he’d probably have dropped it too, they’re very small at that age and mine didn’t get the hang of weaning until about 7 months. Is your HV any good? If so ask her to help you push for a referral.

I agree with the comment that if you feel something is wrong definitely check it out. Trust your mothers instinct. And if everything turns out to be fine you’ll feel better knowing that you did everything. Good luck!

Well, he had reflux for ages. This was why he couldn’t have large feeds. He had Gaviscon which didn’t help and another type of medication which began with O - can’t remember what it was called. But he wouldn’t take it.

I don’t think he’s allergic to cows milk although it’s impossible to say for sure.

But he is seven months @BadgertheBodger. It was Saturday I gave him toast.

I have no experience of this but I have two children and I just want to say that your parenting instinct is strong so don't let people fob you off if you feel something isn't right, keep pushing. Could you afford a consultation with a private paediatrician? Someone who will sit and listen to you without rushing you out of the door.

Mine was like this, he has ARFID

What is ARFID, please?

Trust your instincts you know your baby the best.

You can always go to the nearest children's hospital to their A&E and get him checked over properly

All three of my kids would only sleep touching me at that age - I just held them on the sofa until I went to bed where they slept next to me. Was really hard at the time but seems a small time looking back (2 and 5 year old still in bed with me at some point in the night though but the 9 year old sleeps!!)
It’s not very unusual.
Mine weren’t big on food til nearer 10 months but they did drink a lot of milk.
But - I do think instinct is very often right and if you think there is something wrong you should keep pushing- I’m not sure who right enough, the health visitor?

Keep going back to the doctors. Keep going back. Keep going back. Push. Push.
Push.

My eldest was like this and finally diagnosed with CMPA at three years old when he was diagnosed with asthma (probably caused by the bloody cows milk allergy but there we go!).

If he has had reflux, he knows eating causes pain, so he's not going to do it.

@summersflowers

This isn’t me being awkward but how? Did you hold them all night long?

The TT specialist was a lactation consultant. I don’t really know about his other milestones to be honest - as far as I can see.

Pretty much. We coslept and cuddled all night.

I agree with others to push if your worried. I’ve taken photos of the 6 months milestone and I will attach them. It may take over one message to attach them all.

Last one

@summersflowers

Well, he had reflux for ages. This was why he couldn’t have large feeds. He had Gaviscon which didn’t help and another type of medication which began with O - can’t remember what it was called. But he wouldn’t take it.

I don’t think he’s allergic to cows milk although it’s impossible to say for sure.

My oldest was diagnosed with CMPA at 11 months.

He’s reaching most of those as far as I can see. I don’t think he is making any vowel signs yet although I could be wrong.

Emma’s diary says Weaning is well under way now and your baby can manage mashed foods with some small soft lumps; they can also improve their biting and chewing skills by feeding themselves with simple finger foods such as soft fruit, toast or strips of meat and fish. Gradually increase the amount and range of food you offer your baby to eat with the aim of reaching three meals a day over the next few weeks. They can also have plain tap-water to drink – there’s no need to boil it any more – using a free-flow cup instead of a bottle.

The average 7-month-old baby has three milk feeds a day (ideally breastmilk) – usually in the early morning, after lunch and at bedtime – plus their solid food. If your little one isn’t managing to eat three meals of solid food a day yet they’ll probably want more than three milk feeds a day still possibly including a night-time feed.

This is so far away from where ds is it is laughable really. I’ve called the HV. I’m not sure if much will happen, though.

But it doesn’t explain why he won’t eat @Pissinthepottyplease,it might explain the reflux but he isn’t eating anything, dairy based or not.

There is no way your instincts should be minimised at this time… I think you should consider taking him to A&E and state that you have been to your GP so many times and nothing is helping, and you need an urgent referral. Your child is not thriving. Unfortunately Covid has been a pretty darn good excuse for pretty shit medical help in the UK. I don’t think you should wait.

Another one saying trust your instincts. Reading your post nothing stands out to me as too strange, my kids slept on me at that age, not all kids eat much at 7 months (food is for fun until they're one is what I was always told) , particularly the refluxy babies, and not crawling is still fine at his age.
But I knew something was different about my son at 3 months. People kept telling me there wasn't. I was fobbed off everywhere. He's now at 3yrs diagnosed autistic. I'm 100% not saying your baby is, there are no signs in your post, I'm telling you this to encourage you to trust your instincts. We have mother's intuition for a reason.
I would go to a private paediatrician if you can afford it. As pp said, they will listen and are much less likely to fob you off than public system in my experience.

I haven’t taken him to the GP a lot, though. I doubt a and E would do anything. This is the problem really, I don’t know where to start! I’ve called the HV team so hopefully someone will call me back.

Eating food wise, he’s still very young. I wouldn’t worry about that for now.

Some kids do just eat way less than others.