I feel that there is something not quite right with ds

[summersflowers]

Ds is seven months old. When I had him, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. But when I tried to feed him he struggled to latch. We had an absolutely awful night in hospital with him latching, then falling off the breast, getting frustrated …

When he was weighed at day 4 he’d lost 12% of his birth weight and he was put on a feeding plan which obviously pretty much signalled the end of breastfeeding, although I didn’t want to give up. I thought it might be a tongue tie so found someone private to snip it but it made no difference - he just couldn’t latch on.

Eventually I gave up. But for months he could only tolerate tiny amounts in bottles. At four and a half months he was still having the same size he had as a newborn and he just couldn’t manage any more. Even then he’d throw up a lot.

The HV weighed him at 5.5 months and unsurprisingly he’d dropped a centile. He still can’t have more than 5oz at a time. She recommended starting to wean him. And just as with the breastfeeding, it isn’t happening. People say cheerily things like ‘oh my baby was the same … have you tried giving him bits of toast he can hold?’ They don’t seem to understand he eats nothing. Give him a bit of toast and he holds it then drops it and shows no interest in picking it up again. If I try to spoon feed him he clamps his lips shut.

Daytime naps are fine but night time is awful. He wakes and refuses to go back to sleep. He’ll fall asleep on me and then refuse to go back in his cot. Last night he screamed hysterically even though I was with him holding his hand. Again most babies I know are doing longer stints by now.

It just doesn’t seem quite right to me. He’s a lovely baby. But something isn’t right.

Ok so the GP is a no go arrgghh.

Why!?

@TheOrangeSharked he eats nothing. I don’t really know how plainer I can make it. I’m really sorry I’m in a hell of a lot of pain myself this morning so I probably sound really rude and I promise I don’t mean to. He won’t eat toast, Ella, purées, finger food. He just isn’t interested.

Your PP suggested he would eat Ella's pouches that was why I asked OP
Why is the GP a no go?

@summersflowers

I don’t think the diagnosis is wrong - I think there must be some confusion. It’s quite rare he has reflux now to be fair. It does still happen but not a lot and not much.

@Prestel again I’m not being rude I promise but this is exactly what I mean. People say oh weaning is difficult - try this. He won’t eat anything at all. I’ve puréed loads for him and resorted to ellas pouches. He won’t eat.

This post?

Yes but it really doesn't matter, it was a misunderstanding thats all

@summersflowers could it be silent reflux? Push for a referral from your GP to a paediatric gastroenterologist - we’ve gone private with our daughter for similar reasons. Trust your instincts 💐

OP, formula IS dairy.

Why is the GP a no go, OP? Even a phone appointment in a couple of weeks would be worth having to start the process towards a referral to paediatrics.
In the meantime, if he isn't taking on enough liquids to keep hydrated in this hot weather a trip to A&E wouldn't be unreasonable, I think, if you're really worried about how little formula he's having. Or if you try 111 you might be able to get a call back from a nurse which could be useful to talk things through.

Okay but I can’t not feed him, can I? I’m not meaning that sharply, it’s just that any suggestions have to be sensible ones. Not feeding him at all clearly isn’t!

My daughter wouldn't eat when I started to wean her, however she drank plenty of milk so unlike you I didn't have that concern as well. I did have to try a load of different bottles and teats though, cause I found if the flow was too fast then she wouldn't drink. She had an extremely sensitive gagg reflex and anything solid she ate made her vomit. I started with puree and just put it on the tray infront of her so she could play with the textures, and the wafer snacks really helped to get her used to the hand to mouth practice. She also has horrific reflux, she's 12 months now and is waiting for pediatrician referral, sleep is awful, somedays better then others but up until about 2 months ago she would only sleep for long periods if she was touching me, she contact napped until 6 months. Now, I co sleep on bad nights, as its the only way we all could get some sleep. Don't let people minimise your concerns, it's very easy to judge when your not the person living through it. You know your baby, keep pestering the gp. Best of luck, it's awful when your trying to navigate how to help your beautiful baby. X

Oh I have given up with GPs, I really feel they are useless now.

I will have to wait until I’m back at work but will explore the private route then. I’m not exactly worried about him now - no more than normal. What I mean is this morning is nothing out of the ordinary for him.

@summersflowers

Okay but I can’t not feed him, can I? I’m not meaning that sharply, it’s just that any suggestions have to be sensible ones. Not feeding him at all clearly isn’t!

You can ask the GP for dairy free formula. 😊

Why is the GP a no go?

Yes, if you can get through to a GP!

If you can’t get hold of a GP or HV that will take your concerns seriously it is perfectly acceptable to go to your local A&E.

@summersflowers

Yes, if you can get through to a GP!

You just have to stay on the phone, OP. I went through this in lockdown, it's a nightmare but you've got to stick it out. If it doesn't work call 111 or go to children's a&e. It is serious if it's faltering growth. A GP/nurse will trial you on a dairy free formula. I know it's a faff but it's just one of those things. I hate calling the GP too but just be persistent.

It is a nightmare but unfortunately I also know it isn’t a 111/ a and e problem. He isn’t unhealthy, exactly, so if I can’t get anywhere with the GP I’ll explore private options once I’m back at work.

Sounds like my dd. She had bad reflux and cows milk allergy. She didn't really eat solid food until a year old. Projectile vomiting entire feeds into the bargain. I was breastfeeding so not sure how much she was taking in, but not a great deal. In the end we saw a private allergy pediatrician who was brilliant. She's a teenager now and still has cmpa but otherwise eats fine!

What centile is he on OP? Has he dropped any or kept on his line?

Some babies are great feeders others not so much. I've had 1 of each. It is worrying it's only natural for you to worry.

I thought weaning would magically fix her but no she still kept bringing up the food and we had to go on omeperazole which helped maybe a little bit.

She's now 19 month old. She had tongue tie, reflux and didn't feed well at all. Cld take an hour to get her to take an ounce when she was a newborn. I started weaning at 6 months but I'm not sure whether she wasn't ready or not interested. I ended up giving up a bit and didn't really start until she was 7 months.

She wouldn't take purées and we had to do blw but obviously she wasn't eating a lot. I also had to drop bottles to get her to take food. Which didn't sit right with me but I made sure she got at least the amount of milk she needed for her age. It was a battle to be honest and didn't get better until she was around 9 months old. She still goes through phases of eating loads or not a lot these days.

I thought she might have a milk allergy and we had to ditch yoghurts for a while but she's actually fine now.

If you want results with a GP try taking NICE guidelines with you and highlighting the part where it says they are supposed to refer you to a specialist.

I know the getting an appointment in the first place can be the tricky part.

@summersflowers

It is a nightmare but unfortunately I also know it isn’t a 111/ a and e problem. He isn’t unhealthy, exactly, so if I can’t get anywhere with the GP I’ll explore private options once I’m back at work.

It is a a&e issue in my opinion. I don't think it's really the kind of thing to wait around with to be honest. You know it's an issue that's why you've posted, but you're not exactly taking on board any advice. If it's something like CMPA that is serious. If it's not then it could be more serious.

Keep trying with the GP but keep these things in mind. You're obviously worried else you wouldn't have posted. Sometimes you have to be pushy, especially with kids health.

I would not be waiting till back at work OP

Listen to your instinct, it made you post here, it's telling you to do something.

Baby is not feeding properly, milk or solids. Not sleeping well and whilst yes not all, you are right in that most are sleeping better by this stage.

Get on phone to GP, I wouldn't even bother with HV and get baby seen.

It’s so frustrating having a baby who just isn’t bothered about their milk or food. How much formula is he actually having a day OP?