Do you let your toddler play with your phone?

[peaches35]

Just that really. My 15 month old DS loves my iPhone and already uses his finger to swipe the screen. I find it really sad/depressing and try not to give it to him very often, but admit that I do let him play with it occasionally when I’m desperate for some peace and a break.

Now he knows what it does though he gets really bad tempered when I sit on the sofa reading my phone whilst he’s playing. He will stop what he’s doing and demand the phone, so I now have to hide it when he’s around!

I feel like a crap mum for letting him get hold of it in the first place. Is anyone else’s toddler like this?

No. Myopia runs in the family and if I can save his eyes a little longer it's worth it. TV instead.

No.

And it’s not judging to say so since OP asked the question.

They’re insanely addictive, plenty of time for that when they’re older.

@Hardbackwriter oh yes I feel your pain….the 6am to 12am shift of full time mum followed by full time job was an absolute killer!

My children are 4,3 and 1 and they’re not allowed to look at my phone. I’m not saying that to be judgmental of anyone who does let their kids play with their phone but just to say that it’s up to you OP. Don’t waste time feeling guilty, decided where your boundary is and stick to it because I can promise you it’ll only get harder to create those boundaries the the older they get/the more kids you have

I know how difficult it can be with toddlers but I think that by giving them phones etc you're just making a rod for your own back. They get addicted very quickly and that leads to more poor behaviour. I really wouldn't advise it as a strategy. Sorry. As a Primary teacher with many years experience I would say that it is not good for emotional / communication development at all.

Not really, it only comes out in situations like nail trimming, hair cuts and a trip to the dentist. We do use YouTube timer videos sometimes to get ready in the mornings. He did really like looking at photos and videos of himself and now quite likes using it to take photos - I then get to delete 100 photos of the floor.

So anyone whose kids don’t play on their phone - do you use your phone in front of them? Do they never try to grab it and play with it? If I want DS not to use it I will have to stop using it in front of him, which is a shame as sometimes I do like a cuppa and a scroll through MN when he’s playing with his toys!

They’re insanely addictive, plenty of time for that when they’re older.

This is what concerns me, that he’s already getting hooked!

Also… I’m worried that now he’s seen/knows what it can do, it’s already too late!

nobody uses my phone.
nobody is even really allowed to touch my phone unless I need it charges or handed to me because Joey doesn't share food!!!

get him a tablet

Mine wanted it, purely as a chew toy and then liked swiping at random, sometimes interested in watching videos of himself or hey bear videos on Youtube.
I resisted as I felt the same,then after some hellish days where my husband worked 24hr+ shifts I just gave in to get some dirty naps changed. He isn't bothered by it now at all and it no longer is an incentive to stay still during nappy changes. Like most things with him, once he knows he can have ready access to it, he no longer wants it.
I wouldn't worry, the novelty will wear off and he will move on to the next thing (the remote control if he is like my DS)

Never, they cost a small fortune these days. Insured but a hassle waiting on them fixed, one of ours broke a phone screen when I'd forgot to pick it up.

No never. I figured if DS1 (27 months) knew what it could do he would always be looking for it. I don’t often use it in front of him, maybe to check the weather before a walk or respond to a message. He does watch tv though if I need to get something done but keep it under an hour a day.

@peaches35

So anyone whose kids don’t play on their phone - do you use your phone in front of them? Do they never try to grab it and play with it? If I want DS not to use it I will have to stop using it in front of him, which is a shame as sometimes I do like a cuppa and a scroll through MN when he’s playing with his toys!

I use it in front of him. Hes never been allowed it. Ive never given it to him. He tries to get it sometimes but tbh he knows he isnt allowed because its always been that way. Itd be a different story if I was trying to take it away after letting him have it.

‘ If I want DS not to use it I will have to stop using it in front of him’

Er, no, you just set and the DC learn your rules, just as with anything else.

I v rarely let my DC play with my smartphone when they were smaller, primarily because too many parents I know had their phones smashed by accident and repair is v costly.

I did go on my phone a LOT when looking after the DC when they were smaller, which wasn’t great in retrospect! I now have screentime controls and my eldest teen has the code and has to permit me to have occasional extra MN time

No, oldest is 2.5 and doesn’t get to play with my phone.

I use mine in front of them. I try not to use it too much but like this morning, they've both been up since before 6am and quite frankly I need some me time while they play and watch Cbeebies! I only look at socials and MN, I wouldn't watch a TV program on it in front of them.

I don't think it's the end of the world to have things that are just for parents (phones, laptops, glasses of wine, fizzy drinks) and for them to see that different age people can have different things.

‘ If I want DS not to use it I will have to stop using it in front of him’

Er, no, you just set and the DC learn your rules, just as with anything else.

So what do I do, just go on my phone in front of him and ignore him when he shouts for it? Wish I’d never started this now!!

@AnneLovesGilbert

No.

And it’s not judging to say so since OP asked the question.

They’re insanely addictive, plenty of time for that when they’re older.

All of that. My kids have plenty of screen time when older, but not at this age.

My DD is too little to care at the moment but this is one of those where I feel like you can be precious and snobby or you can move with the times.

The future is digital and our kids will need to know how to work with technology. All of today’s toddlers will need to know how to design a website, build an app and code at a minimum if they’re going to survive in the future job market. Why would you deny them the opportunity to be comfortable and familiar with tech just because ‘it makes you sad’ to see them interacting with technology? I genuinely think people who don’t let their kids have some familiarity with phones/laptops etc at a young age are doing them a disservice. I’m not talking about letting the device parent your child for you, but pretending phones don’t exist won’t hell your kid in the future.

*help not hell

@peaches35

‘ If I want DS not to use it I will have to stop using it in front of him’

Er, no, you just set and the DC learn your rules, just as with anything else.

So what do I do, just go on my phone in front of him and ignore him when he shouts for it? Wish I’d never started this now!!

Well, I guess the same thing you'd do as if he was shouting for a sip of your wine, or asking to have ago on a chainsaw...

No.

@Dollywilde

My DD is too little to care at the moment but this is one of those where I feel like you can be precious and snobby or you can move with the times.

The future is digital and our kids will need to know how to work with technology. All of today’s toddlers will need to know how to design a website, build an app and code at a minimum if they’re going to survive in the future job market. Why would you deny them the opportunity to be comfortable and familiar with tech just because ‘it makes you sad’ to see them interacting with technology? I genuinely think people who don’t let their kids have some familiarity with phones/laptops etc at a young age are doing them a disservice. I’m not talking about letting the device parent your child for you, but pretending phones don’t exist won’t hell your kid in the future.

Totally agree with this!

I don’t let DC have my phone in case they do something by mistake like text someone or purchase something. I do provide an old iPad with various apps. The Cbeebies reading app is great and so are things like Numberblocks.

@peaches35

Also… I’m worried that now he’s seen/knows what it can do, it’s already too late!

You seem to be refusing to stop him having access.

So now you need to limit it. And set expectations of behaviour. If he shouts and screams for it, he can't have it. If he ask nicely then consider.

Set up some rules. Eg. Once a day/after lunch/ before dinner/only in the car... Whatever suits. And stick to it.