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Original poster

Do you let your toddler play with your phone?

115 replies

peaches35 · 17/07/2021 13:34

Just that really. My 15 month old DS loves my iPhone and already uses his finger to swipe the screen. I find it really sad/depressing and try not to give it to him very often, but admit that I do let him play with it occasionally when I’m desperate for some peace and a break.

Now he knows what it does though he gets really bad tempered when I sit on the sofa reading my phone whilst he’s playing. He will stop what he’s doing and demand the phone, so I now have to hide it when he’s around!

I feel like a crap mum for letting him get hold of it in the first place. Is anyone else’s toddler like this?

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Original poster
peaches35 · 17/07/2021 19:25

Thanks for the comments. I’m not too bothered about protecting the phone as it’s ancient and dented/scratched as anything anyway. Just feel crap that I’ve allowed him to get into this awful habit Sad

OP posts:
FartnissEverbeans · 17/07/2021 19:47

@peaches35 “ Just feel crap that I’ve allowed him to get into this awful habit” - she said, typing on her phone Grin

Don’t be so hard on yourself! Half his life will be conducted via screens. Just aim for a balance Smile

My own screen time is appalling - thanks iPhone for the constant reminders!! - but I seem to be alright in spite of that

TheTallOakTrees · 17/07/2021 19:55

No

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catsjammies · 17/07/2021 19:59

Not my phone no, not ever. The only time they see my screen is when I've seen a funny cat video a friend sends me, we are FaceTiming family, or we are looking at photos together.

There is a kids iPad which they are sometimes allowed on a long drive to watch something on, and very rarely my nearly 5yo will be allowed to play a few very select games (phonics type stuff, or the Duplo app).

I am, quite frankly, horrified, when I see young children with iPads or phones shoved in front of them in the buggy while the parents shop. Even at my most desperate it's not something I've ever done, and not something I would consider doing. It's one of the few things I do get judgey about.

Hardbackwriter · 17/07/2021 20:00

@JustWonderingIfYou

I try not to, he gets it maybe once or twice a week for a nappy change if its very messy and he's very wriggly.

I find it sad too seeing small children glued to screens especially when they are practically still babies. I think a short time every so often when they play with lots of different things is fine and part of modern life.

I try not to judge but I am gobsmacked at the PP who gives their 1 year old an hour of screen time a day! Thats more what I'd expect for a 6-10 year old and still not everyday! That's shocking tbh...

Do you have one very little child? If so I might wait a little before assuming you'll never use screens so much... My one year old had absolutely zero screen time. When he was two and we were in lockdown and both working full-time with no childcare? I honestly can't bring myself to tot up how much he was watching.
JustWonderingIfYou · 17/07/2021 20:23

@hardbackwriter Yes I have a 20month toddler, currently 7 days into 10 day quarantine in a very tiny flat with no outdoor space. Also have fairly bad morning sickness and trying to work full time. No I still haven't resorted to hours of "hey dugge". I don't think it's necessary.

To the pp I really don't understand why "not the worst mother" is your aim. I try to be the best mother i can, I'm far from it I'm sure but still try.

grey12 · 17/07/2021 20:25

@Hardbackwriter I know what you mean. When I got PPD the kids started watching a lot more TV...... Sad

Hardbackwriter · 17/07/2021 20:33

Well congratulations then, because you either are a much stronger woman than me (if I hadn't used the TV at all I'd have had to work all the extra hours it bought me at night - a pretty grim thought as I was working from 6am and until midnight every night as it was to make up the hours I should have been working but was doing childcare), have a very easy job or have a very placid child - whichever it is good for you!

wejammin · 17/07/2021 20:42

I let my toddler (now 2 1/2) play with my phone, I have YouTube kids app on a time restriction with a selection of approved stuff and I also have khan academy kids and cbeebies island that he plays with in short bursts probably 3 or 4 times a day. Also has access to tablet and TV, same as his older siblings. He's happy, he's learned loads (shapes, colours, numbers etc), some days he has a proper fuck-tonne of screen time, other days none at all. There's far far worse ways to raise kids, and I don't really care who judges me for what they may see as 'excessive' amounts of screen time. It's a small part of their rich lives.

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 17/07/2021 20:42

DD19m only ever looks at photos of family on it. She has no idea what else it can do.

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 17/07/2021 20:44

When she has asked for it, it gets looked so it's just a black screen... She thinks it's a mirror 😂

Wingingthis · 17/07/2021 20:45

I was running for some imaginary parent of the year award when my now nearly 4 year old was younger, she was never ever allowed my phone and I never went on it in front of her. The result in her case is whenever she did see it was wanted it, even if I was trying to take a photo of her or video she’s scream because she wanted my phone (when i said she never I had it say never ever)
My second child is now 1 and I’m WAY more chilled and she has absolutely zero interest in my phone!

EmmaOvary · 17/07/2021 20:45

The judginess is strong with this thread...

Indigopearl · 17/07/2021 20:49

My toddler likes looking at videos of himself on my phone. He finds himself very funny but we also use them as a way of talking about our day.

When I am in need of a distration the Very Hungry Caterpillar app is good.

Emmazebra · 17/07/2021 20:52

No never

FartnissEverbeans · 17/07/2021 20:56

@JustWonderingIfYou Congratulations! Your medal is in the post I’m sure.

Through morning sickness and quarantine… it seems masochistic and unnecessary?

@catsjammies Why on Earth would you not let them have it while shopping? How are they using their time more productively by sitting in a buggy looking at the veg aisle?

To be fair though I’m a bit judgey about parents who are funny about stuff like screen time. I’ve met a few now and I always roll my eyes a bit and make assumptions about their parenting that are probably unfair.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 21:27

Nope. Its mainly because he'd absolutely ruin it though, not so much to do with screen time.

If I want some time to myself I get YouTube up on the tv and he'll sit and watch nursery rhymes for a bit. Hes 15mo.

grey12 · 17/07/2021 21:44

@FartnissEverbeans tbh I don't do phones in the supermarket. I talk to my kids. I chat about what we need to buy

Opalfeet · 17/07/2021 21:49

@JustWonderingIfYou that's nothing. I had a newborn and a 22 month right when lockdown started. Anyone can do quarantine with one kid

Opalfeet · 17/07/2021 21:52

@JustWonderingIfYou but to you no screen time or TV equals good mother...that's a value judgement. To me lots of talking, interaction, encouraging good behaviour, discipline, teaching and lots and lots more of cuddles equals being a good mother. If there's some screen time in there or some TV then so be it.

eeyore228 · 17/07/2021 21:57

No. Mine never had it. Purely because I watched my friend give hers to her DD and she broke it in temper. I don’t have money to throw away and they are expensive and I want it to last.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/07/2021 22:00

[quote JustWonderingIfYou]@hardbackwriter Yes I have a 20month toddler, currently 7 days into 10 day quarantine in a very tiny flat with no outdoor space. Also have fairly bad morning sickness and trying to work full time. No I still haven't resorted to hours of "hey dugge". I don't think it's necessary.

To the pp I really don't understand why "not the worst mother" is your aim. I try to be the best mother i can, I'm far from it I'm sure but still try.[/quote]
Theres always one mothering hero, isnt there. Well done, peak MN award goes to you today.

Chocolatetrifle · 17/07/2021 22:01

Do not let toddlers loose with phones, my DS1 put mine down the garden drain when I wasn't looking. It's not worth it even for a couple of minutes peace. They don't understand what they are or how expensive they are!

Pandasarecool · 17/07/2021 22:08

Yes my dc is allowed my phone. She’s leant loads from it. I’m quite impressed with what she knows.

Apocalypse10 · 17/07/2021 22:24

Yes I do and it’s glorious…I was so judgey before kids and thought I’d NEVER keep my kids quiet in public using a phone…all food will be home cooked…a dummy…how dreadful!

Yup now as a full time working mum I’m all for anything that’ll keep the kiddos occupied and make my life easier…midnight formula dream feeds to keep them full all night, a dummy, and a good dose of CBeebies so I can shower while they are confined to travel cot jail!

Going off on a tangent but I also think learning to use tech at an early age is a bonus and my toddler has learned a lot from bounce patrol!

As I’m sure u know just be sure to keep half an eye on what they are watching especially on YouTube!