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Secret Smoker partner

1 reply

Jr2020 · 11/07/2021 18:39

Hello mums I need advice here.
So I safely bedshare with my baby and follow the 7 safe sleep requirements. My boyfriend was a smoker before I bedshared and stopped due to me wanting to bedshare.
Been bedsharing now for 8 months, and a message popped up on his phone today from a woman he works with and said something about smoking, I then went on the chat because I felt curious, then read him previously messaging her asking for a break at work as he’s dying to have a fag, asking for a cigarette etc. I feel so upset and disappointed as I’ve shown him all the research beforehand on bedsharing risks if one of the parents is a smoker. I’ve told him on so many occasions I’m proud of him for stopping so quick.
How the hell do I confront this? Without looking like a control freak that I looked at his messages?
Yes I have trust issues, my mum left me when I was 12, I have forever trust issues so don’t get at me for looking on his phone.:(
I briefly dropped it in convo today with him, said he smelt like smoke when he comes home from work and asked him to Be honest if he smokes, he flat out denied it AND SWORE ON HER LIFE.
What the hell do I do?

OP posts:
Jr2020 · 11/07/2021 19:15

Hello mums I need advice here.
So I safely bedshare with my baby and follow the 7 safe sleep requirements. My boyfriend was a smoker before I bedshared and stopped due to me wanting to bedshare.
Been bedsharing now for 8 months, and a message popped up on his phone today from a woman he works with and said something about smoking, I then went on the chat because I felt curious, then read him previously messaging her asking for a break at work as he’s dying to have a fag, asking for a cigarette etc. I feel so upset and disappointed as I’ve shown him all the research beforehand on bedsharing risks if one of the parents is a smoker. I’ve told him on so many occasions I’m proud of him for stopping so quick.
How the hell do I confront this? Without looking like a control freak that I looked at his messages?
Yes I have trust issues, my mum left me when I was 12, I have forever trust issues so don’t get at me for looking on his phone.sad
I briefly dropped it in convo today with him, said he smelt like smoke when he comes home from work and asked him to Be honest if he smokes, he flat out denied it AND SWORE ON HER LIFE.
What the hell do I do?

OP posts:
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