Toilet etiquette for out & about 2 year old

[stillsleeptraining]

I need help understanding what you do before we remove the nappies (imminently). I've seen kids weeing in all kinds of places and pre-kids, it all looked a bit weird.

What are the rules?!

A couple of examples of where DS has announced he's needed a wee:

• On a bridge on a fairly busy road, just off quiet side streets 10 minutes walk from home
• Near the grass bit next to the London Eye. Some trees, no idea where the nearest toilet would be or what the queues would be like.

Appreciate any education you can give me on this!

I carried a Potette and liners everywhere I went.

TBH I’m in the same boat, my DD is potty trained but it was during lockdown so was obviously easier, now we are out and about she announces it at the last minute so I’ve had to let her do it on grass or behind buildings etc if there are no toilets around. I’m going to look at portable potties but not sure if they are any good or not if they need to go where there is little privacy or places to stop easily.

Google location of public toilets, restaurants etc in the area you are going to so you'll know where to go. Best to stay home for a few days while you are training so dc gets to learn when they have the urge to go and can actually make it to the loo.

We had a travel potty, could also be used as a toilet seat and it was really useful!

Sometimes you just have to be as discreet as you can. Other times you need to pick them up and run.

Also take spare clothes, a couple of sets of trousers and pants and socks and wipes. You think you won’t use them but you do!

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

I carried a Potette and liners everywhere I went.

Never heard of this! Thanks.

Doesn't look very eco, but I might get one for the emergency moments.

I don't know how long he can wait (or be expected to wait) either, so that might take a bit of learning

This is all really helpful, thanks.

Any absolute no-no? Being so tired (with a 4 month old too) has really lowered my standards in all kinds of ways, so I might need reminding

Potette! You’re right- not especially eco (but then disposable nappies aren’t either if you’ve been using those). It’s worth having one for emergencies, and also useful as a seat on put on to toilets so that they don’t fall in/ need holding.

We have a travel potty (think they're called Carry Potty on Amazon and come in lots of funky animal designs). Allows you to effectively have a potty wherever you go and they seal shut with no leaks so you don't need liners or anything else 😊

Nos... where people are eating.
Enclosed spaces if it can be avoided (especially poos)

I can't help you with the etiquette I'm afraid, I can't now remember what we did, I'm sure that with discretion you'd be fine in most outdoor spaces. I'm mainly here to plea that you don't become one of those people who whip out a potty without consideration for others

Once I was spectating at a swimming pool (posh pool with nice seating area, I had fancy coffee and cake in hand) when the mother next to me produced a potty for small child to sit on, right next to my seat. Accompanied by "Do you need you potty Celia? Let's get your potty Celia. Sit on the potty Celia. Is a wee wee coming Celia?" Why she couldn't have taken the child a few metres over to the side and lowered her voice a bit I couldn't fathom.

We have a carry potty which we take everywhere with us.

Have regular wee breaks in any day out. Before you leave the house and basically any time you see a public loo.

My son is quite scared of toilets so we have to use the potty in other places. I tend to try and find somewhere near a loo which is quiet and discrete and not near food / anyone else.

One unwritten rule I live by is if I see a parent and a toddler get in line for the toilet, I let them go ahead of me. I'm perfectly happy to let a toddler queue jump if they need a wee.

Mine is 2,5 and not even close to be potty trained. However, I would probably carry a nappy or two with me and quickly put it on if he needs it.

I think people are fairly understanding when the child is obviously younger and in the early stages of using a potty. If they could wait you’d go to the nearest loo. If they can’t wait then the alternative is a mess. So anyone offended by you whipping a potty out or them doing a wee somewhere would be offended by that too. You can get travel potties with little carry handles that don’t have disposable liners. If you don’t have one then I just try and take them somewhere a bit screened from wider view.

I’m perfectly ok with a nature wee behind a tree in a park if no loos nearby. The scenarios you’ve given I don’t think they’re ok though. 10 minutes from home I’d expect them to be able to hold it. Next to the London Eye I would find a loo. There are public toilets literally the other side of the grassy bit plus there are tons of restaurants, cafes, and several inside the royal festival hall. It wouldn’t take long to find one at all. Don’t mean to sound harsh but if they can’t hold it for a few minutes then I don’t think they’re ready to be potty trained. I find it helps to look up where the loos are before days out and it makes everything much easier. I think no nos are really anywhere where someone would tread in it or outside someone’s house.

Portable potty is a good idea though, still best to use it somewhere discrete if you can, but it’s definitely preferable to an accident.

I have used little doggy bags and they catch the wee very well.

During peak Covid times there were no open bathrooms or even cafes in parks.

Otherwise a very hidden, unused part of the park, behind a tree. Weird I know.....

You just take a potty everywhere. Or let them go outside. Everyone has been in the same boat at some point no one would judge

Discreet, not where people are eating etc - got it.

I might also be underestimating how long he can hold it for. We've been taking him everytime we've been going to the toilet and for me at the moment, that's quite often!

All very helpful and supportive - thank you!

Their bladder control improves quickly and you get used to asking them whenever its convenient for you too (which lasts for many years!)

Potette, hands down! They're expensive but so useful. We've got the silicone reusable liner. If we're near a loo I just empty it into there, otherwise I empty it into the potette sacks as they have an absorbent pad in them (the sacks are designed to be used on their own in the potette but I don't think my toddler would accept that). Just make sure he sits quite far back and get him to lean forward as boys can easily pee over the top if not.

I can't imagine many toddlers being able to hold their pee for ten minutes once they've announced they need a wee, never mind walking home in the process. Putting a nappy on isn't an option as it sends out the wrong message and I think it's cruel to do once they're reliably trained.

I try to find a secluded spot if we're out and about but bus stops seem very attractive to DS not a good sign of things in years to come... If there is a toilet nearby take the potty there. I'd avoid indoors unless at friends with similar age children. Remember that most people older than you have children and most younger ones will have them in future so try not to be embarrassed 😉

You've had good suggestions OP.

I'd also say, with my 3, I didn't take a potty or anything. But I was really firm about checking for wees very regularly. Before we left, then built in regular toilet stops. The kids accepted they'd to check for wees & just did so.

We'd very few accidents. Every child is different though so I just got lucky rather than it being anything I did.

I do think thinking ahead and visualising where there will be toilets is a good idea.

I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and to the side of the exit door was a lady squatting down with a bottle in her hand. This was pressed against her little boys genitals. I've look it up, and it was a portable, childrens urinal for boys. Genius. It fitted over everything, so no visible genitals and fairly discreet.

Bit odd to be the right near the door, but I assume that is as far as they got from the shop?

I never took anything. Wee before you leave the house and checks regularly. Seemed to work for us. Might just have been really lucky though.

I used to have a travel potty for mine. It was invaluable and provided peace of mind.

Just be as discreet as possible and exercise common sense. I mean things like not plonking your child on it in the middle of a café or restaurant so that they take a shit while people are seated only feet away trying to enjoy their meals.

Acquaint yourself with the locations of public toilets in places you like to go to, and look them up in advance when going somewhere you are unfamiliar with.