Toilet etiquette for out & about 2 year old

[stillsleeptraining]

I need help understanding what you do before we remove the nappies (imminently). I've seen kids weeing in all kinds of places and pre-kids, it all looked a bit weird.

What are the rules?!

A couple of examples of where DS has announced he's needed a wee:

• On a bridge on a fairly busy road, just off quiet side streets 10 minutes walk from home
• Near the grass bit next to the London Eye. Some trees, no idea where the nearest toilet would be or what the queues would be like.

Appreciate any education you can give me on this!

Second the keep at home for a couple of days (or very close to home) while they and you get used to it.
After that- be aware of where the nearest public toilets are. Carry spare clothes. If they have to pee in public, be as discreet as possible. It won't last long!

I was surprised how quickly DD learned to hold it. Within a week of potty training she managed to hold on for 10 minutes while I found somewhere safe to stop the car on a trip out. I kept the Potette set up ready to go in the boot of the car on journeys in those early days so that as soon as I'd parked I'd be able to pop her on it in the boot which gives a bit of privacy too.

Yes, they're not massively eco friendly but you can buy biodegradable liners (not potette brand but they were compatible) and we only got through two packs of these before I stopped taking it altogether so it's not too bad really.

It was only a matter of weeks before she could hold it for really quite a long time on days out (despite having accidents at nursery when I think she was so busy/distracted that she would leave it far too late to tell anyone she needed to go).

Potette for us too. We trained in lockdown 1 when no loos were open so was very handy - now keep ours in the car for emergencies and it's handy as a loo seat for little bums in public toilets. Like PP have said lots of toilet trips - I'd never leave a cafe or a big shop (like an m&s) without a toilet trip in the early days and we never leave the house without everyone going for a wee first.

How long do yours go between wees? Mine is almost 2.5 (next month) and childminder is putting some pressure on to potty train. She does all her poos on potty/loo so we haven’t been in a huge rush and whenever we’ve decided we might do it she gets ill or teething or just demon for some reason so kept putting it off. Being in London and going on buses all the time and the lack of loos during the pandemic also put me off a lot!

When you start potty training you'll get a good idea of how long they can last between wees. Get into the habit of using the loo just before you go out and whenever you come across one when you are out and about. I very rarely take a potty out with us, I tend to stick to close to home, short trips until they are fairly reliable (only a week or so).
I try to think of the child's dignity if they need to wee outside (potty or tree wee) and find somewhere as private and discreet as possible.

Depending on his poo habits (my LO is like clockwork with poos) you can get little flask like bottles for little boys! Easy and pretty discreet

Bladder capacity seems to be for anything between 1.5 and 3 hours for DC2. DC1 more like every half hour and obviously 10 mins after you've asked and it's really inconvenient

@stillsleeptraining

This is all really helpful, thanks.

Any absolute no-no? Being so tired (with a 4 month old too) has really lowered my standards in all kinds of ways, so I might need reminding

@stillsleeptraining just please don’t do what a delightful customer did to me 😬 I’m a shop manager - customer asked if I had a toilet her DS could use (looked around 3ish). Unfortunately this isn’t allowed due to health and safety plus the access to our staff loo was through our stockroom where we had just received a huge Christmas delivery and was a complete obstacle course to get to the loo so I couldn’t even turn a blind eye to H&S and let them use it as a one off. Explained that I was sorry but it wasn’t accessible but the cafe next door would allow her child to use the loo no problem.

She then kicked off and told me I was out of order refusing a child a toilet and proceeded to let him wee into a plastic bag in the middle of the shop and then walk out leaving the bag on the floor 😬

@waitingforwinter Ooooooooh, that's really nasty! And rubbish for you to have someone shouting at you.

@drpowk

How long do yours go between wees? Mine is almost 2.5 (next month) and childminder is putting some pressure on to potty train. She does all her poos on potty/loo so we haven’t been in a huge rush and whenever we’ve decided we might do it she gets ill or teething or just demon for some reason so kept putting it off. Being in London and going on buses all the time and the lack of loos during the pandemic also put me off a lot!

I'm not sure (I'm really like a zombie at the moment). He's kind of trained himself plus childminder has been really good too. It's one of those things that I really thought I'd be 'on it' for, but I really haven't.

I think it's time to ditch the nappies though and see. Although it feels like he wees all the time at home - partly because he thinks it's all so great and he loves the praise.

Get into the habit of toilet before you leave the house and as soon as you arrive anywhere.
They need to be able to give you 10 minutes warning that they need to go.
Behind a tree/in a gutter in an emergency.

I used the rule anywhere that dogs might pee we’d be ok for a wilderness wee, for other places I use the portable potty and liners if no toilet is available, just find somewhere quiet.

I used the “anywhere I wouldn’t be shocked to see a dog wee” too - and that ruled out all kinds of places where I do in fact see dogs weeing, all the time!

Potette with liner in the bathroom or somewhere discreet outdoors when she was learning then we used the Potette as a portable toilet seat. In an emergency the Potette was used as a potty without a liner on grass or in a corner of a car park but that was only a couple of times. We took lots of spare pants and shorts or leggings.

We have a carry potty, we used to take that with us anytime we thought we might not be able to very quickly get to a toilet, for the first few months. My DD was about 26 months when we took her out of nappies. The first couple of months she peed very frequently sometimes and we weren't sure how long she could hold for once saying she needed it. We did try to get her to just pee on grass or whatever but she wouldn't and wanted to sit on the potty.

As she's got older this has become less of an issue as she can hold longer and pees less often and I can get her to go regularly when the opportunity arises by bribery basically (we are not going to x until you have a try on the toilet, let's have a try on the toilet and then we will have a snack, that kind of thing - when she was younger she would just kick off if you tried to get her to wee on request...!). She also started deciding she would rather just pee on the grass at the park than bother with the carry potty. We keep it in the car boot if we are on a long journey or a day trip if she suddenly needs to pee near the car but otherwise she mostly is ok just using public toilets now (just turned 3 and been trained for about 10 months). If we were in a park or somewhere without toilets we would just take her somewhere vaguely discreet behind some trees/rocks/bushes etc. Dogs pee all over the place in those environments anyway so I never feel concerned about it.

Oh God I have this looming soon.

What are the rules for a portable potty? Just as out of the way as you can make it?

Also if you've used a urinal bottle for boys, does that lead to any confusion with the potty/toilet?

I have this looming too, mine is 28 months and absolutely not interested (nursery agree) but I'd like to get it sorted by the end of the summer.

Has anyone had a Carry Potty and a Potette? What are the pros/cons of each?

@LakeShoreD

I’m perfectly ok with a nature wee behind a tree in a park if no loos nearby. The scenarios you’ve given I don’t think they’re ok though. 10 minutes from home I’d expect them to be able to hold it. Next to the London Eye I would find a loo. There are public toilets literally the other side of the grassy bit plus there are tons of restaurants, cafes, and several inside the royal festival hall. It wouldn’t take long to find one at all. Don’t mean to sound harsh but if they can’t hold it for a few minutes then I don’t think they’re ready to be potty trained. I find it helps to look up where the loos are before days out and it makes everything much easier. I think no nos are really anywhere where someone would tread in it or outside someone’s house.

I completely disagree with the statement that if they can't hold for a few minutes they're not ready. Often children get distracted and realise at the last possible moment.

My DS has been toilet trained for nearly 2 years now and still struggles with holding on so he has to go right away or he has an accident (we're bladder training but it doesn't work overnight).

To be honest I think if you're trying to be discreet people really don't care. They can see you have a small child.
I also bought a cheap kids urine bottle on Amazon which has been fantastic!

Also to add...
Parents are doing this all the time. It's only now since I've been potty training that I notice it. I think before it just passes you by!

I get DS to go at conventient times. If he says he needs a wee in between those times, I always have an empty bottle handy that I can then throw away. Perks of having a boy!

Not the best thing to do but it beats him having to stew in wet pants while I find a convenient place to change him.

@FoxtrotSkarloey

Oh God I have this looming soon.

What are the rules for a portable potty? Just as out of the way as you can make it?

Also if you've used a urinal bottle for boys, does that lead to any confusion with the potty/toilet?

Don't worry about it. I try to be as discreet as possible so if there's some trees or a bush or a pile of rocks then we would go behind there and I'd stand the other side too to shield a bit. Or put the pram to shield a bit from one angle. But she doesn't care and neither does anyone else really, don't worry about it. Obviously you wouldn't whip out a potty right next to someone having a picnic or something ridiculous but other than that it's not a big deal.

Honestly, until my children were reliable enough to be able to hold it long enough to find a loo or somewhere fairly private, we stuck with pull up nappies. None of them found it confusing and it saved a lot of stress.

Dd (3) wee's before leaving the house and i always take the following with me as I don't really like my dd using public toilets esp during a pandemic. I only intend to use the potty liners for when she does a poo and haven't had to use them yet though. Always take a loo roll and wipes.

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You can get she-wee type things with a bottle. We had one for our kids. It takes up the same room as a water bottle so fits in your back pack (unlike a potty), but have also been caught out. I work on the principle that if it would be fine for a dog to wee there then it’s okay if my child does discretely (e.g behind a bush).

Please don't do what I witnessed a couple if weeks ago. Stepped out of my office door in busy Central London to find a family right outside the revolving door with their child on a potty taking a crap.

I was too shocked to speak. There were cafes on either either side of the building where they could have gone in and asked to use the toilet.

Mum was sitting on the floor playing Simon says with the kid.

I'd never have done that.