To feel ashamed/embarrassed/helpless at my toddlers behaviour

[Wbfa]

We have been to two organized group music sessions for mixed aged groups. All the kids/babies are so well behaved. My beautiful 16 month old who is so affectionate and loving and generous goes completely mental in this class. She is completely out of control. I try to run behind her and bring her back to the circle but the teacher gets upset because the class is getting disturbed. On multiple occasions she has passed comments about how disruptive my child is. I have burst into tears after class and I never want to go back to this class with my toddler ever again. I felt so shamed and singled out. I try to be gentle with my daughter and she is usually wonderful. I don’t know what it is about this class that makes her berserk. Completely out of control. I wished the ground would open and i could fall in away from all the judgy parents. What can I do to discipline a 16 month old? Can you discipline a 16 month old? Is this normal toddler behaviour to go stomping around and climb up on pianos and run away with the teachers pencil?

The leader could be a bit more understanding I reckon. One year olds like to move about. It's just how they're built.

I think in your shoes I would ditch the class and maybe look for a more active one? Or toddler sessions at the local soft play.

Sounds like the wrong class... or more likely the wrong teacher for a class with 1 year olds. That's just what they do, and no you can't discipline at that age. I'd look for something active as pp said!

Don’t do the class?

Ditch the class. My baby/ toddler was like this. Worse actually. She is angelic aged 5. She just didn't do well in structured lessons at that age and yes, it did get me down and attract comments.

Sounds like the teacher hasn't met many one year olds! I'd be finding another class if you feel judged, I've been to plenty of classes where the children were allowed to run around and just join in if / when they wanted to, and it was no problem at all.

It's stressful for the teacher at the moment as she has to ensure everyone stays 2m apart and her risk assessment to allow her to operate is probably that children must remain with their parent.

If your 1 year old isn't ready for this class yet, don't worry about it. Take her to the park instead where she can run around.

She’s not a toddler, she’s just a baby. She is too little to understand about discipline and sitting still. I would leave this and try again in 6 months time.

Some 1 year olds are very spritely OP. I would feel just like you however. Choose another group for sure. The teacher sounds like a knob.

Having said that, you can introduce boundaries, she needs to know when some behaviours aren't acceptable.

The teacher needs to unclench....

Stop going to the class .
And did you really burst into tears afterwards or are you exaggerating?

Your little one sounds lovely. She doesn't understand that she is supposed to stay still, it is probably very dull for her, stuck in a circle. Ditch the class and run around the park with her. If this sort of class is important to you, try again in 6 or 12 months.

Totally agree, it's not a problem with your toddler, just this class is not the right thing at the right time for you. One of my DC would have been one of the ones sat quietly in a 2m square, another would have been climbing the walls. Don't worry that it's something you're doing wrong, just find something which suits better.

Another one for ditch the class. The teacher sounds a bit precious. We did a few classes when mine was that age and the teachers always said "just let them play, don't worry if they wander off"
Unless they were safe it was fine. Few weeks in most the kids would settle and take interest in the class.
The teacher sounds inexperienced with this age group! 16 months is so little!

OP The behaviour of a toddler is challenging isn't it ! Don't look at it as if it is your child at fault, it's simply the wrong class is all. Nothing more.
Find something else to do and don't look back.

I take dd(18m) to a dance activity. At the beginning the teacher stresses very week that the children can join in as much or little as they like and it's fine whatever. They aren't built for sitting still at that age.

I’ve been in your situation. I took my eldest to a group music class when he was two and he was the only one who would run around the hall, climb under chairs etc whilst everyone else’s child sat obediently in a circle on the floor. It just wasn’t energetic enough for him and he’s a really well behaved child. He’s ten and every primary school teacher he’s ever had comments on how well behaved he is. You’re not a bad mum and I don’t think you should worry about trying to control your child - just find a class better suited to him.

Your little girl sounds exactly like my son was at that age! Not naughty by any stretch of the imagination, just a lively, excitable, inquisitive child. The group sounds dull.

Yeah i did.

run away with the teachers pencil your daughter sounds ace!

It's the wrong class for you two just now find something different that you both enjoy

I would also say ditch the class for now and try again in a few months. My DD was like this at that age - in doors she liked music and dancing but at the Library rhyme time sessions rather than join in she would run out of the circle and pull books and DVDs off the shelf. I took her to a Christmas music thing where it felt like all the other children were dancing nicely while my DD ran around at the back of the room trying to open all the doors. But now at age 4 she goes to a musical theatre dance class every week which she thoroughly enjoys and joins in with.

Yeah i did.

Tbf I may have done the same, I would have been really flustered with judgy mums staring at me and the teacher saying my child was "disrupting the class" as if it was GCSE maths and not a baby and toddler group in a church hall (or wherever)

These babies have missed out on so much socialisation. My just turned 2yo gets very shy and nervous in social situations even though he’s super confident at home.

Any group aimed at babies and toddlers should understand that they are unpredictable little things and not made to sit still and follow orders - even in normal times let alone the last 18m.

Enjoy your head strong little girl and continue the gentle parenting with realistic boundaries for her age. Find a more understanding class. X

I am not usually one to have a cry over something like this, but I felt like such a total failure that no matter what I did, my kid was just so out of control. There i was sweaty and running behind my determined monkey preventing her from pulling down the bedsheets covering the piano while the rest of those perfect babies and their perfect mums were singing perfectly and giving me the side eye.

This is like an episode of Motherland. You have a wonderful daughter who's clearly got tons of energy and likes to run around. There's no need to go to any class where the only thing you get back is judgement.

Sometimes it's so obvious when you look back - you don't enjoy it. Your daughter gets nothing from you. You're getting judgement from women who should know better. Why are you putting yourself through this? Are you actually paying to go through this torture?

WTAF She's 16 months Old, that's what they do

I think 'The teacher" needs a new job