To feel ashamed/embarrassed/helpless at my toddlers behaviour

[Wbfa]

We have been to two organized group music sessions for mixed aged groups. All the kids/babies are so well behaved. My beautiful 16 month old who is so affectionate and loving and generous goes completely mental in this class. She is completely out of control. I try to run behind her and bring her back to the circle but the teacher gets upset because the class is getting disturbed. On multiple occasions she has passed comments about how disruptive my child is. I have burst into tears after class and I never want to go back to this class with my toddler ever again. I felt so shamed and singled out. I try to be gentle with my daughter and she is usually wonderful. I don’t know what it is about this class that makes her berserk. Completely out of control. I wished the ground would open and i could fall in away from all the judgy parents. What can I do to discipline a 16 month old? Can you discipline a 16 month old? Is this normal toddler behaviour to go stomping around and climb up on pianos and run away with the teachers pencil?

Stupid woman. Shouldn't be working with kids.

Too young to be anything but herself! Some kids just more boisterous than others. Our oldest was always that child when tiny. 5 year old him would be mortified at behaving that way

She’s a baby, this is fine. I thought this would be about a 2/3 year old attacking people or something! I find some leaders of music groups/baby gym etc expect too much. When I have worked in nurseries music time/story time for under 2s usually involved the kids wandering about/dancing while the staff sang at them.

If your child is unusually wild in this class then it could be a bit of sensory overload? Are there lots of musical instruments being played?
Have you tried her with something like baby massage which would be more calming? Or gym tots where she's supposed to run about.
Don't let it get you down, she's tiny and just not a good fit for this class yet.

I recently stopped going to a music group with my 15 month old granddaughter because an 18 month old boy was body slamming into everyone - even the adults.

I'd rather my granddaughter was bored.

Don't go back. I think you should try playgroups that are a little more unstructured then slowly bring the structure in. For example, the church near me does playgroups where it's mostly freeplay and socialisation (for parent and carers as well). Then at the end they do a little singing and movement, but it's all quite free flowing. This may suit much better for now.

If it makes you feel any better OP, aged 6 so 5 years older than your baby and old enough to know better I not only stole my teacher's pencil and ran away with it, I then returned and dropped it down her cleavage. Didn't end up a juvenile delinquent.

Nothing wrong with your baby OP - try a different class, that one sounds mad! We do two very structured classes (19 month old DD) and some playgroups. DD is angelic at one of the classes, stays on her mat etc. Roams about as much as possible in the other class and I have to bribe her with this blueberry wafers to stay near me. Constantly on the move at the playgroups this is all perfectly normal behaviour and nothing to be concerned about!

NO you don't discipline. Teacher should expect this. If the teacher isn't understanding find a different class. This behaviour is NORMAL.

I run parent and toddler sessions. I'm also a qualified teacher. No way do I expect my attendees to sit completely still and silent - because they're toddlers! Some do very well, yes, but others are noisy or running around, pulling bits off my display or trying to grab what I'm holding. I'd never make a parent feel bad, you just have to shrug it off.

My day job, though... Completely different expectations!

OP, I think try a different class. There are some out there where no one will give you the side eye and you can relax!

Just take her to the park and have done with it.

Just you watch, the perfect mothers with their perfect toddlers will soon have their own battles

Your daughter is behaving perfectly normally for a 16 month old baby.

She is probably too young for the music sessions.

She’s 1, she wants to move- the teacher sounds like a twat!
Park, soft play- can the classes and enjoy your child!

FYI- mine threw the messy play spaghetti type stuff out of the neat trays and whacked a parent in the face, also tried to leave via the fire escape in a music class,
….(and the list went on)

I have one of these. In addition to running round constantly, she also demonstrated by her leadership skills by forming a gang and leading other toddlers astray.

We stopped going and stuck to more physical activity based ones or stay and play sessions.

Ha! OP just Chuck it in the fuck it bucket and don’t go again!
Honestly, it now should occupy not a cm in your brain, I speak from bitter bitter experiences and looking back…I wish I had not even given any of it a second.

I have scooped up my wild child dozens of times, got my bag and then left sometimes minutes into one of these frankly torturous crap sessions.
My next kid…I just didn’t bother to go to anything along these lines because…I didn’t have to.
Yep..into the fuck it bucket with it, nothing else to do.

Some babies/toddlers want to sit and play with toys. Some want to run/crawl/climb and explore. Your baby is in the second category. And that is absolutely fine! Your baby is completely normal and you shouldn’t feel upset at all. Just do activities that meet their needs more - get outdoors, go to the park, go to zoos or farms, softplay (I know it’s hell ), get her to a non class based stay and play - like a church hall type thing. Basically just adapt, let her move, let her be herself and don’t feel embarrassed or anything. You have a very active girl. I’ve had one child of each type. My first would never have sat at a class, he’d have been climbing up the curtains. He’s still very active now but has calmed down a lot so your DD will be fine

Stop the class OP, it’s causing you stress, it should be fun, cancel it and do something else with your DD.

Find a different class. Seriously I went to one like that and it was so stressful. I found a different one and it's perfect. The kids can run around or join in as much as they want. Grown ups stay in the circle as much as possible and wear a mask if they need to go and get their child. There are good classes out there.

If you want to do music and dance with your 1 year old stick some music on and buy some instruments. No need for a special class!!

At 16 months old your daughter's job is to explore the world and figure it out. And she is doing a fantastic job at that.

Try a softplay or toddler group they are much better for smaller smalls.

You’re mad to be paying for something that neither you or your daughter enjoy. If you really want to do an organised class then a baby gym class might be better.

Why are you persisting with something that doesn't suit your child and is making you miserable? There are plenty of other types of baby classes, this one doesn't sound like a good fit for you. Don't feel embarrassed though - the other mums are probably not judging you and even if they are, who cares :)

At 16 months, these classes are for parents, not kids. How old are the other kids out of interest? I'm assuming a bit younger and more pliant?

OP I’ve been where you are (and still am with my spirited 2.5yo DS). Tiredness and over excitement were factors for us. This is all totally normal and you are not a failure. I would give the class one more go (make sure your DD is well rested and has had a snack beforehand) and if it doesn’t work out try something else.

She’s only 16 months so discipline just won’t work, plus there is no need to discipline her when her behaviour is totally normal for a 16 month old. The teacher sounds like they’ve never worked with kids before!!
Please don’t worry OP, your DD is just excited and curious, this is normal

She's not disruptive. The teacher sounds like an idiot. I personally would keep.going to wonder the teacher up! Haha but seriously life's too short... take your toddler to the park instead snd meet other mums with equally energetic kids. I say this as a mum of two under 3yrs.

Wind** not wonder

When my DS was this age he was super active and never stayed still - except in one music class at which he sat on my lap and joined in. It was just something about that class or teacher which really engaged him. It's all about finding the right class.