To feel ashamed/embarrassed/helpless at my toddlers behaviour

[Wbfa]

We have been to two organized group music sessions for mixed aged groups. All the kids/babies are so well behaved. My beautiful 16 month old who is so affectionate and loving and generous goes completely mental in this class. She is completely out of control. I try to run behind her and bring her back to the circle but the teacher gets upset because the class is getting disturbed. On multiple occasions she has passed comments about how disruptive my child is. I have burst into tears after class and I never want to go back to this class with my toddler ever again. I felt so shamed and singled out. I try to be gentle with my daughter and she is usually wonderful. I don’t know what it is about this class that makes her berserk. Completely out of control. I wished the ground would open and i could fall in away from all the judgy parents. What can I do to discipline a 16 month old? Can you discipline a 16 month old? Is this normal toddler behaviour to go stomping around and climb up on pianos and run away with the teachers pencil?

And don't feel ashamed OP - this is completely normal toddler behaviour and doesn't need discipline (unless she hurts another child). My very active toddler is now a sporty, well behaved 11yo!

As others have said, this is normal behaviour. I had this. If the teacher can't engage your child, ditch the class and find another. You may have to go through a few classes before you find what suits for you so don't pay for a block up front, look for free trials and ask locally. Plenty of other parents will have had the same issue. It's not your fault.

That was my ds ! Tried rhyme time at the library as I thought it would be lovely. Haha he was exactly like your daughter. We never went back , discovered soft play which he loved !

Oh OP, fast forward a few years and this will be a great memory to look back on.

DD1 was one of those perfect children who sat and watched and clapped her hands in the right places.
DD2 is the "spirited" child who pulled down the blinds in the the church hall during twinkle twinkle and put an egg

Swimming lessons and a free play gymnastics work well for us.

I’ve been there OP. My 1 year old liked to run around and bang on the radiator in mini Mozart class. Everyone else sitting beautifully and raising their eyebrows; it was so stressful.

We went to a Gymboree group instead, with soft play, songs and bubbles to run around and pop (which he loved).

Incidentally, 5 years later mine is now very musical.

She's a baby who has spent most of her live without much social interaction due to the pandemic. Of course she's going to run a bit wild in a room with other kids.

If I were you, I'd choose a different group. I find it odd that a leader of a toddler group calls a 16 month old "disruptive" for running around!

I take my dd (18 months) to a group and we are supposed to stay on our mats, but the leader knows it's not logical to keep the kids glued to 1 spot for an hour. We just have to try and keep them from licking each other!

It’s the “mixed age groups” that’s the problem here, I think, not your daughter. My DD went to a similar class and it was perfect for 2-3 year olds. It required sitting in a circle, listening, clapping etc. People would consistently bring much smaller children and it just didn’t work as well (and the older kids got fed up and declared it “babyish”). I the end, the teacher split it into two sessions which worked much better. Find a class aimed at under 2s and I’m sure you’ll both have a lot more fun!

I’m team daughter. The idea of stilling in a circling singing sounds mind numbing. I’d be running around too.

She sounds great OP.

Another vote for ditch the class. My 10 month old can't sit still in most classes let alone if she was walking. We've tried music, sensory etc. I found it very stressful especially at the moment with the covid restrictions, it wasn't fun for either of us. It's just not realistic to think some babies/toddlers will be able to sit on a mat and not move about. We've since found a fantastic class where she is free to crawl about as much as she wants and we both enjoy it so much more. Maybe do soft play or tumble tots or something similar instead.

My DS was the same, at the music class he was constantly trying to escape and kept bolting for an alarmed fire exit...i used to wonder what witch craft was keeping all the other kids sitting so nicely

He much preferred the toddler groups at local churches and children's centres etc where they can just run around and play with toys. These are just starting up again in my area so you might find something near you

Ive been there OP with my only just 2yo. Running around, will not join in and attempts to wrangle him are met with screaming. I cried too, there’s something about being boiling hot in a bloody mask while being screamed at and all the other parents look at you like a leper. It’s alright saying don’t do classes and in normal circumstances I’d agree. But their world have been so small over the last 18 months that I feel they do need some exposure to adults and children that aren’t in their family. Maybe not this class though OP, the teacher sounds a nob.

pinguwings I'm now wondering where dd2 put the egg.

Yes where was the egg @pinguwings?

you can't discipline a 16m old.
and yes, her behaviour is of a normal, excitable, inquisitive toddler. she did nothing wrong.

I wouldn't go back. couldn't give a flying fuck about the judgey lot, but if my kid wasn't able to get engaged then what's the point?

honestly, this is nothing.
try being in church and your 5yo daughter loudly announcing "grandma, you have a vagina too!"

honestly, this is nothing.
try being in church and your 5yo daughter loudly announcing "grandma, you have a vagina too!"

I just spat coffee all over my iPad laughing at that 😂

Beats my then 3 yo DD shouting at the vicar during a friends funeral "it's okay, she's dead in that box, but she'll be in heaven soon"

Don't go back - life is too short to waste in baby/toddler groups that cause you stress.

PP are right that the whole distancing thing is stressful for the people that organise/run such groups. Having been to several in the last couple of months with DC2, tbh trying to make the kids distance from each other/the adults takes most of the fun out if it (compared to the similar stuff I did with DC1 a couple of years ago).

Sounds like your child would prefer soft play or a playground. I never bothered with classes, it's too stressful and not fun for the child.

I would of cried too. Fuck them don’t go back. My one year old wouldn’t of sat still. How dare she say your child is disruptive. There ONE!