If your parents/in laws live close by, do they take your children for sleepovers and how often?

[Jellybelly882]

I am late twenties and I’m lucky to have both my mum and dad (early 50s) and my mother and father in law (early 60s).

I have 2 children and my husband works away for long periods of time, for example he has only been home for around 4/5 weeks since Christmas time.

Both of our parents live within a 5 minute drive but never offer to have our children (or 1 child) overnight. Whenever I ask there is usually an excuse. I only ever ask if I’m struggling and really feel like I need a break.

I know I made the decision to have children and they don’t need to offer, I just thought they would want to? I would be the first to say if my children were a handful but they really aren’t, and would love a sleepover. They are ages 4 and 7 and great sleepers too.

No, they never have.

I have mine A LOT, for support, because we wanted them, because they wanted to stay, the younger ones stay a lot because the parents needed a break. But sometimes I say to my H no children this weekend. Lols

Never, but they have my sister's DC around three nights a week...

My in laws emigrated when my dc were 3, 6 and 9 but until then lived 2 miles away and my dc had never had a sleep over there.
My parents live about 100 miles away, and the dc had little 2 night holidays there once twice a year, but never all 3 at once.

No, they never did.

And I'm almost 60, without grandchildren yet. But I'm pretty sure I won't want to do sleepovers if I ever get any. My child rearing days are over. I don't want to have to get up early with small children.

My mum occasionally had mine for a sleepover when they were little but I know she found it tiring but enjoyed having them . I have my grandchild once a week on a Friday so that my daughter can have a break,see friends and have a lie in or go to the gymn on Saturday morning.
Am always very happy to help but it is tiring and Saturday afternoon I am always shattered.

My parents never. They don’t have a spare room or even sofa bed.
MIL maybe once a year or so, for a special occasion. We could always ask her if we got a child-free wedding invitation for example.

My ex MIL has them around 3 times a year for 4 days at a time in school hols. She offers and loves having them. My mum never has them overnight but she would if I asked, my kids are a bit of a handful for her.

Both my parents and my partners parents live 5 mins away. My parents have my DS1 (3.5) to stay about once a month (they don’t have DS2 as he’s only 3 weeks old). My in-laws have never had him to stay but that’s our choice… they’d have him every week if they could but they drink heavily and we’re not comfortable leaving our kid(s) over night for that reason.

Parents live a mile away and see DC several times a week, do school drop offs/pick ups if DH and I are at work, usually has dd once a week for a sleepover, have play dates at their house, go to school events if we can’t. Are taking DC away camping for 2 separate weeks in the holidays. ILs live in a different country and we only leave DC with them if DC are asleep. I don’t think there are many DGP like my Parents.

My parents never. In laws maybe every 3 months or so pre COVID? They have been once in the last 18 months, there was great excitement

I’m pregnant with my first, but so far, although the in-laws are very excited about cuddling the baby, they’ve been pretty clear that they don’t want to do nappies/crying/sleepovers at any point. They don’t want to do child rearing again.

FIL keeps telling us that early discipline is important and a good smack never hurt anyone; and MIL spent about an hour encouraging us to look into babysitting circles so we had people to leave the baby with

It’d be nice if they offered for you, OP, but I think they would have if they wanted to. I’d try to stop thinking of it so that it doesn’t constantly irritate you, rightly or wrongly.

My parents live over the road but only have one bedroom so can't really. My PIL are about 8 miles away and have had DS overnight a few times but only when needed if we go away or when we had DD. They've never had him just for the sake of it and why should they? They love having him during the day but they've earned their full night sleep and lie in!

Myself and cousins still have our own bedrooms at our grandparents house, we are all mid-late twenties so they really haven’t been used in 10+ years But growing up we were there at least once a week, they did the school run often, their home was like a second home to us and I still like going round to visit now as much as possible.
My mum and DP parents show a huge interest in my babies life. Mum lives 2 mins away and so is around several times a week. In laws are also close and see baby regularly. Neither have had him overnight yet as he is only 5 months but they have looked after him for a few hours in an evening a couple of times so we can go out to dinner. I’m sure they would have him if we asked but as of yet we havent had a need for them to do so. We are fortunate to have a supportive family and I genuinely do feel for people who don’t have that!

Probably once/twice a month. Not English though & it's more normal in my culture for family to pitch in

My parents have DS at least once a week and have done since he was 8 month old. They have two other grand children and one stays weekly the other stays monthly.

In laws never have and never will

If I have gc I will do the same.

My mum lives close by and yes has my dd, 7, quite often normally with my niece who is 8. Mum recently got rid of a double bed so they could have 2 single beds instead. They both chose duvet covers. My dd has taken some bits there to make it their room! My 2nd dd who is 3 has only been once when I got admitted to hospital as dh was with me. I think Mum would have dd1 more often as she likes the company. We are lucky. In laws would never offer though.

My parents have my nephews every other weekend (Friday - Sunday). They give them tea after school every day also.

No. Both sets of (working full time, U65) grandparents live within 30 mins. They work full time, just like us.

In 4 years they have stayed overnight once at grandparents, when DP and I were literally ill with tiredness and on the point of splitting up because we were individually so exhausted.

My DC are now adult but when they were small both my DP and PIL would have them overnight , starting from a really young age, we didn’t have a hectic social life so probably about once a month each. They are all still with us and still doing overnights for my younger nephews and nieces. My DDad is particularly enjoying retirement and grandsons who are into sport and need early starts to get to matches etc.

My in laws live 10 minute drive away. They’ve looked after our eldest alone on one occasions for 2 hours, and we had to ask them to do that. They’ve never offered. They’ve never had their grandkids overnight and I doubt they ever will.

Maybe it's because of the lockdown and Covid restrictions? Or because of their ages (parents, not children). I'm 69 and I have one grandchild every few weeks. The other one doesn't sleep, just screams and cries, so I don't have her.

My eldest (12) stays with my mum once a week - they enjoy each others company and it gives me a break from collecting her from sports and getting her up in the morning. My mum has decorated a bedroom for the younger two but they're not ready yet (2 and 3 months). I'm sure she's hoping to have them weekly eventually and if they want to go then that's fine by me, just not when they're this little.

I am very very lucky with my mum though.

Mine never ever do. Not once. They will not do sleepovers. If we have a night out we get back by midnight, and they drive home.

My brother and his partner used to happily have my kids now and again for a sleepover. They now have their own kids, and so never ever have them either.

I just accept the situation.