Pettiest parenting pet peeves?

[Tucancrossing]

What's the pettiest thing that annoys you about other parents? Something that you know is so pathetic to care about but it really grinds your gears?

Mine is probably when people say they're doing 'a bit of traditional weaning and a bit of baby led weaning' - you can't half do BLW... traditional weaning is purees AND finger foods, BLW is your child ALWAYS feeding themselves regular food.

So petty, I wish I could let go of it, but I internally eye roll every time.

Get so annoyed when you go to a sandpit/ splash park etc and ppl take toys for their children to play with and if any other child goes near them gets really annoyed and huffy pulling them (the toys) away from them. Small children will want to play with a truck left in the sandpit and don't understand who it belongs to.

mums who think its cute to put pictures of their kids smiling while mid-eating with food hanging out of their mouths. One acquaintance on IG has just done it now, hes nearly 3, smiling with his mouth open and you can just see a gob of yogurt. cute to mum, minging to others!!

[quote jobsagudden]**@Letsallscreamatthesistene* @Orangeinmybluelightcup*

A crunchy mom is one who is willing to go against the grain and do what is best for her child. She willingly does her own research for pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding and baby wearing, vaccines and solid foods

Who knew?[/quote]
So like, just someone making informed choices then?!

Another one (for older kids, appreciate it isn't appropriate for younger kids). You have a friend round you haven't seen for ages, they want to chat about a sensitive subject, you've set up stuff to entertain the kids and the kids insist on sitting at the table with you so you can't have any adult conversation at all. I'm not talking the whole time, but just for a few minutes. In that situation, I'd encourage my kids to go and play with the others so the adults can have a quiet chat but this seems the exception.

(Obviously I like chatting to the kids as well, but some time on our own to catch up on more private stuff doesn't seem unreasonable).

@Aozora13 Food before 1 is just to experiment. They get all the nutrition they need from breast milk until 12 months.

But yeah, people that say “exclusively breastfed” probably do mean no bottle/formula

When mine were small I got immensely irritated by people who were oh so smug that their baby was sleeping through the night, convinced it was down to their superior parenting. I laughed my socks off when they got a second child who didn't sleep through for ages 😂😂

Food before 1 is just to experiment. They get all the nutrition they need from breast milk until 12 months.

This is absolutely not true and is trotted out by BLWers all the time. Do any sort of research into infant/baby nutrition and you'll find out its incorrect. I wish people would stop using this phrase.

To clarify, I have no problem with people traditionally weaning their children. Each to their own, as long as you're feeding your child I don't care at all! It just annoys me when people say they're doing half BLW, half purees... that's not BLW that's just traditional weaning. The NHS recommends finger foods alongside purees from 6 months if traditionally weaning, so no one should be giving exclusively pureed food. But I am also aware it's my problem not theirs, I need to get over it 😄

[quote redheadonascooter]@JustineTimee If people do these things and it works, good for them, crack on. But I hate the attitude that unless you do these things then you're not being responsive, or doing the right thing for your baby, or putting them first.

I have read so many threads on here by utterly exhausted women who are beating themselves up because they want to be able to put their baby or child to bed at a reasonable time and have an evening to themselves, or stop feeding, or leave the house without their child in tow for more than an hour etc etc etc and you have so many reasonable posters offering advice only for others leaping on with waffle about 'oh it's only for a few short years', 'why did you ha e children then?' and 'sleep training is so cruel they need mummy' when actually no one is suggesting that you leave a baby to scream but actually just put a sensible routine in place to allow the parents to have a life that doesn't involve being physically attached to their child 24/7.

As for GP, I could write an essay on it and it's numerous pitfalls and bad science but I won't bore you! Let just say most of the horribly behaved children I've met have been the result of this sort of parenting! [/quote]
Wow, you’re a nice person arent you?

I cosleep, breastfeed on demand, respond to my child’s crying, make home made food (and pouches/jars sometimes but it’s so expensive) so...what? I’m a bad parent? And my child will be a horror? I just do what feels right to me. Difference is I couldn’t give a fuck how you’ve raised your kids or what you do with them, so maybe you should mind your own business on how I’m raising mine?

And the loveliest little girl I know was raised this way. And I know a sleep trained child with issues. That’s life, kids are all different.

It’s so shit to be a parent with judgement people like you around. Unless your children are PERFECT and NEVER do anything wrong ever then mind your own damned business.

"Food before one is just fun" is also a petty pet peeve

Basically any unnecessary judgement particularly when the parents can’t help it. I had to FF my first for a variety of reasons and was privately devastated. We are in a very middle class (maybe crunchy- new word from this thread!) area and the amount of people smugly BF while asking why I wasn’t then saying the good old ‘breast is best but formula is fine’. Can you imagine if I went round going ‘vaginal birth is best but c-section is fine’ ‘natural conception is best but IVF is fine’ to people incredibly upset about the way their body/parenting has turned out?

When married parents say they are pretty much a single parent because their husband works a 9-5 job and goes to the gym on a Saturday morning.

I understand it's challenging in it's own way but you are not a single parent

Those who won’t hear that their child has done anything wrong, no matter what. They’re arseholes of the highest order.

Also, those who allow their little cherubs to continually interrupt and dominate adult conversation with kiddy pish.

@TurtleBay28 what is ‘performance parenting’? I talk to my dc allll the time when were out, showing them things and explaining stuff, it entertains me as much as him, but since reading about ‘performance parenting’ on here I feel a bit like people think I’m showing off? I used to talk to the dog in the same way and I talk to myself, so it’s just an extension of that to be honest!

@Greyrootszerohoots

Parents who say they ‘pick their battles’, when in fact they consistently just let their kids get away with shitty behaviour.

Well, yes. Not just behaviour, but being stared at when repremanding a child when he/she is about to kill themself.

An example: we have adopted a son. He is cool, pretty well mannered and very affectionate, pretty cool with most things and, you know, 'getting there'.

Anyhow, we met up with his previous foster parents shortly after the transition, say 2 weeks or so, and were walking in the local park. Our son was running ahead with another boy who was being transitioned, when they were about to run into a road.

I shouted. Loud enough for them to stop and cry. Of course, I got scolded for shouting, but they stopped and didn't get squished. Now our son knows I only shout when the alternative is to be squished by a car.

And that is the only time I have shouted, otherwise it is a grumpy troll voice, which really makes him reconsider his choices.

Now, I would have loved him to have road-sense, but he had only just turned three and, well, seemed to have intimate knowledge of a back garden and little else.

TL;DR: don't judge me for shouting when a kid's life in danger. If you couldn't be arsed teaching a kid about danger, somebody else is going to have to.

mothers saying "MY child does xyz" in a tone that let's you know her and HER child are superior in ever single way and we should be grateful to wear her fart as perfume

fathers simply don't do this

People who misunderstand attachment parenting. It's meant to be a hands-off, kid accompanies you but isn't the centre of attention approach. Instead some mothers take it as a badge of honour to wear themselves to the point of absolute self-annihilating exhaustion where their needs are always subordinate to the wishes of their kids. It's not good parenting to make yourself a miserable doormat.

Those who won’t hear that their child has done anything wrong, no matter what. They’re arseholes of the highest order.

Agree. Although like my first post, I'm not sure this counts as "petty"?

I still laugh about the woman who, when we were all trying to get to the bottom of what had happened leading to a fistfight, said, "I'll ask DS, he never lies". hahahahahahahahaha

-being precious
-being excessive
-being highly competitive, especially with stuff that doesn't matter ("no teeth yet? MY Johnny has 6 already!"🙄)
-being irrational

Some of these are so amazing 😄 I love this thread

@TinyTear abortion isn’t an easy option, what a horrendous thing to suggest that a woman aborts a child for an ‘easy life’.

The people who insist I should formula feed if I ever dare to answer sleep related questions honestly.

[quote FatSams]@TinyTear abortion isn’t an easy option, what a horrendous thing to suggest that a woman aborts a child for an ‘easy life’.[/quote]
I am not saying it's an easy life, yes abortion is necessary at times but what you do not do is pretend to the wider group it was a miscarriage when there are people going through recurrent miscarriages who CANT HELP IT

Parents who don't let their kids get messy ever. Let them splash in puddles and make mud pies or get paint in their hair!

The last time I helped out on a school trip a poor girl was made to wipe off her wellies with wet wipes everytime they got mucky- at an animal sanctuary! Parents shouldn't go on trips with their kids if they'll be like that