Pettiest parenting pet peeves?

[Tucancrossing]

What's the pettiest thing that annoys you about other parents? Something that you know is so pathetic to care about but it really grinds your gears?

Mine is probably when people say they're doing 'a bit of traditional weaning and a bit of baby led weaning' - you can't half do BLW... traditional weaning is purees AND finger foods, BLW is your child ALWAYS feeding themselves regular food.

So petty, I wish I could let go of it, but I internally eye roll every time.

I would annoy you OP because I say that.

Mixed reasons
Blw brigade as above
My SIL genuinely did traditional weaning by spoon and purée only, no finger foods, at four months. So to avoid confusion I would say a mix.
BLW Scares the crap out of me and takes me way, way beyond anything I'm comfy with. A mix I can manage.
I like to know they have eaten something, so throw the finger food, eat the spoon food.

@Metallicalover

That boys are more loving than girls towards their mothers 😳🙄

And the next comment is always about a special relationship and how it's never going to change. hahahaha, can't wait for the teenage years!!

Mothers who are able to do paid work and can find it, asking me 'do I work'?

Yes I work. Parenting is work in itself thanks. Let alone all the other stuff and home schooling this year for ten months. I have a disaiblity and some things are harder work for me. And if I had had to hold down a paid job amongst the pandemic (yes, I know some have and well done them) I probably wouldn't be here at all.

Parents of girls, or just people in general actually who tell me I must be so disappointed I didn’t have a girl. As if having a girl is the holy grail of parenting.

@1940s

The Mum of boys brigade. The ones (not all) who consistently say how cuddly / mamas boys they are and how simple it will be to parent when they're teens with no drama (whilst actually enviously eyeing up the SMOG's)

Smug mum of girls

That was me detailing what SMOG was not claiming I am one!

I’m far beyond all the baby stuff thank goodness.
But, will someone tell me what a crunchy mum is please

@Mydogisagentleman

I’m far beyond all the baby stuff thank goodness. But, will someone tell me what a crunchy mum is please

Hippy mum; 'cloth bum' bed sharing, gentle parenting etc, homemade food etc etc

Basically EVERYTHING my friend does:

Showering the kid in aggressive pink
Painting finger and toe nails in exchange for being 'allowed' to cut them
Never disciplining but moans to me about bad behaviour
Generally being a massive wet blanket of a parent

@JustineTimee If people do these things and it works, good for them, crack on. But I hate the attitude that unless you do these things then you're not being responsive, or doing the right thing for your baby, or putting them first.

I have read so many threads on here by utterly exhausted women who are beating themselves up because they want to be able to put their baby or child to bed at a reasonable time and have an evening to themselves, or stop feeding, or leave the house without their child in tow for more than an hour etc etc etc and you have so many reasonable posters offering advice only for others leaping on with waffle about 'oh it's only for a few short years', 'why did you ha e children then?' and 'sleep training is so cruel they need mummy' when actually no one is suggesting that you leave a baby to scream but actually just put a sensible routine in place to allow the parents to have a life that doesn't involve being physically attached to their child 24/7.

As for GP, I could write an essay on it and it's numerous pitfalls and bad science but I won't bore you! Let just say most of the horribly behaved children I've met have been the result of this sort of parenting!

@Squiblet

People saying, ad infinitum, 'Enjoy it while it lasts! The time goes so quickly!' Or, 'They grow up so fast, don't they?!'

No. No, they don't, and no it doesn't.

yes it actually does!

I used to feel the same way when people told me this but I swear the past decade just flew by. The days are long but the years truly are short. Sorry about the cliche but I think it’s very accurate

@SummerHouse

BLW made a lot of sense to me. Now why does the occasional (or regular) spoon feed mean you can't benefit from all the good things about BLW? Why can't you do both? It's like saying if you used a disposable nappy once or twice you can't say you used cloth.

Well we did baby fed weaning. BFW. I will write a book. Anyone can do it, combine it, get it wrong, without fear of being looked down upon by the evangelical.

Yes but some finger foods and some spoon feeding is just... weaning Normal weaning like what most people do, it doesn't need a special name.

If you say "we're exclusively using cloth nappies but also sometimes using disposable nappies" people would look at you like

Parents who say they ‘pick their battles’, when in fact they consistently just let their kids get away with shitty behaviour.

@Mummysgonetobed I was asked if I was disappointed I had a girl by my grandma as she said there's too many girls in the family! 🙄

People are weird!!

Parents who think the word "vulva" is gross/embarrassing but instead teach their kids that the entire female genital area is just a hole and are then smug that they use "correct terms" by saying vagina

@Mydogisagentleman I suppose you could describe a 'crunchy' mum as someone who does most of the following - offers only homemade organic foods, breastfeeds, baby wears, co-sleeps, follows gentle parenting, only allows wooden toys, uses only natural skin products, avoids vaccines, fluoride etc (although this is not always the case), always speaks in a gentle tone, may request that her children refers to her by first name rather than Mum, sometimes but not always vegetarian.

I suppose I'm quite 'crunchy' in a few of the ways mentioned above but I mix it up with some behaviours which are definitely not crunchy!

This is fun!

Moaning about behaviour but failing to instil an understanding of the relationship between actions and consequences.

The “Oh, enjoy it while it lasts” and “In my day” brigade (see also: puddlesuits). Thanks, there are lots of lovely things about having young children, but I’ve walked through the same two parks daily since March 2020, we’ve jumped in puddles and collected leaves to our hearts’ content, I’m allowed to find this difficult so fuck off.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene @Orangeinmybluelightcup

A crunchy mom is one who is willing to go against the grain and do what is best for her child. She willingly does her own research for pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding and baby wearing, vaccines and solid foods

Who knew?

Jesus, you literally can’t get away from all the judgement 😂

Really petty but massive pink bows on bald babies. Especially when they wear them everyday- it’s clearly because they’re terrified their daughter might be mistaken for a boy, but a 6 month old doesn’t give a shit!

One of my friends religiously did BLW and another was traditional and wouldn’t let her baby touch the spoon in case any mess was made. It was great fun, when we all met up, watching them gritting their teeth at each other across the table as their babies ate. They would both express shock and horror behind each other’s backs.

@redheadonascooter

So called Gentle Parenting. Sarah Ockwell Smith has a lot to answer for. Permissive nonsense.

The idea that you can only be a good responsive 'mumma' if you allow your child to BF on demand until they're about five even though you'd have stopped earlier, wear them incessantly, let them sleep on you, in your bed or on a mattress on your floor until they so choose to move themselves into their own room etc. I'm sure all these things make babies happy. But do you know what else does? Boundaries. Routine. Well rested parents who aren't on the brink of collapse because they've martyred themselves into exhaustion.

The BLW thing too - do they eat? Good fine then who gives a shit how they do it!

I disagree that SOS and gentle parenting is permissive and I agree with most of the principles. However I do think that the approach attracts permissive parents. I'm in a GP FB group and some of the posts are just ridiculously permissive with kids being violent and destructive without any real consequences. It's scary.

The gushing FB posts about kids' achievements. Partly because it's the anthesis of how my parents brought us up. It's not that I'm not pleased for their children, genuinely I am, but it's the public boasting. Along with the soppy birthday messages on FB.. along the lines of "Xavier, you're such a special little boy and we love you so much". I get it, I love my children, but I tell my children rather than an assorted collection of friends and family on FB.

Another vote for the height thing. It's become a family joke that my sister manages to get her son's height into every conversation. He has been the same height for 2 years (and it's not surprising as her ex-husband is tall). I'm not sure what I'm meant to say in return. Perhaps I could mention the weight my teenager can bench press in every conversation (not that I know as my mind wanders when he starts the gym session debrief).

In my defence, I enjoy chatting to people's kids in person, just not the over-sharing on social media.

@ThePlantsitter

'Don't do that darling' as kid continues walloping park roses with a big stick they've just wrenched off a tree

Also any single prescriptive method for doing anything. Relax, it'll be OK either way tbh.

Yes, always said in a sing song voice that the kid doesn't even register.

I don't agree with screaming in kids faces or anything but sometimes you HAVE to raise your voice to let them know you mean business!

When you get the loud parent who feels like everyone needs to know what they're saying and doing. Usually performance parenting.

And the parents who feel the need to say their child's whole name 'come here blue ocean waves' usually ones that have some sort of weird name or double barrelled name.