Tips for an unwelcoming baby group?!

[theroux21]

Myself and my 5 month old have been attending a local baby and toddler group every week for the past month and a half. The first session was amazing and I was really looking forward to going back. There’s only a handful of us with babies so we formed a little group and it was going really well. To cut a long story short, I found out on one of the sessions they’d stayed behind, exchanged numbers, made a groupchat and have been meeting up with the babies since. I’m not sure what’s happened but over the past few sessions they’ve made it perfectly clear they’re happier without my company. I’ve tried my best to involve myself in conversations and encourage our babies to play but get ignored. I get a lot of comments about my choices as a parent (for example he’s the only baby with a dummy and I’ve just started to give him a spoonful of baby rice in the evenings) I’m seriously dreading the session tomorrow. I’ve looked into other groups but they’re all full from the waiting lists during Covid and I am desperate for him to socialise with other babies.

Any tips on how to get through the 2 hour session tomorrow?!

Thank you!!

(I’m quite a bit younger than the other mums by around nine years (I’m 21) and had quite a few comments about my age so not sure if this has played apart in the change of tone all of a sudden)

You don’t need them. Just quit that group and bring him to a playground instead. All the best.

Honestly. Don’t go! Your baby doesn’t need to socialise with people like this and neither do you. I’m sorry this has happened it sounds horrible.

You can find your own tribe ! Unfortunately you have to kiss some mum frogs before you find your true friends.

Happened to me, don’t take it personally it’s just you have less in common with them. It’s not nice behaviour but honestly it’s so common.

I made up a group and hosted it myself, it worked I’m still friends with lots of them 10 years later

They sound like The Mean Girls - don't subject yourselves to it as it can't be much fun going and baby will feel your tension. More places will open up - does the library hold anything? Or is there a music and play group nearby? Don't worry about baby being a bit young as it's usually an all-round experience and you should be made welcome.

Don’t torture yourself with these assholes OP!!

Instead set up a new group on Facebook, invite all the mums you know and share it all over local FB selling pages. Describe it as a welcoming group for mums of babies looking to make friends and get out of the house once a week. Pick a local park or somewhere with benches and a date and time that suits you (perhaps the time that other group is on so none of the meanies will come!) and declare it your first meeting. Say everyone welcome and you look forward to making some new friends. Invite people to PM you if they have any questions.

Oh my god! Bitches!!!
You're better off without them tbh but I know that's easy for me to say!

I guess you can either stop going or
You can go, with your head held high and just see it as a time for you to have fun with your baby! I would be really nice and friendly so they look like cunts for leaving you out etc!

That's so shit though and I really feel for you x

Horrible people!
I would still go, don’t let it spoil time for you and your baby.
As pp rise above it, smile, be nice and let them feel like the dicks they are

No. Stop. Find another place to be. There are lots of perfectly nice people out there, don't get stuck with those who are still stuck in mean schoolkids mode.

That is exactly why I don't do baby groups, they're worse than school!! Can't stand cliques
I was 21 when I had our 1st too. Baby's don't need to socialise in groups like this tbh, try soft play or parks instead.

truth is some baby groups are just horrible. .Please don't go...why put yourself through that?

Wow they're awful role models for their kids! Bullies breed bullies so you're best turning your nose up to them.

It's so ironic them commenting on the dummy and other things as it's so hypocritical!!! If I was there with you I'd be commenting on how important it is to show children that inclusion matters more than anything.

They're doing their children a massive disservice, those kids will struggle socially not yours xxx

Well, no five month old needs to socialise, and this group isn’t fulfilling your needs, so I wouldn’t bother returning.

Babies at that age really don't need to socialise with other children - baby groups are for the parent really.

I would stop going and do something else with your baby or look for a friendlier group.

What a bunch of arseholes... agreed don't go back! My daughter had a dummy til she was 3 so I'd love to see what they would have to say about that! Horrible people.

Don’t lower yourself to being treated like this, you are worth more than that.

Honestly I swear you don't need to go, babies get literally nothing from this. Take baby out for a walk, to the park, to the shops, to an art gallery, stay at home. Baby groups are for mums and some mums are arseholes. You'll find someone nice but these people are not it.

I'm 9 years older than you and would never treat you like that. Mum and baby groups can be brutal!! Ditch them and get on a waiting list for another. They are no better than you

Christ Almighty. You don't need strategies for coping with the meet, other than the obvious one of - don't touch this bunch o' bitches with a bargepole.

In our ‘mum’ group I’m the oldest at 41 and the youngest is 30 (and her partner is even younger!). It makes no difference to us.

They sound horrible.

I had this. I joined a lovely baby yoga group which I really enjoyed but gradually realised that no one really spoke to me.
We all had a mother's and baby picnic one day organised by the yoga group leader and that day sealed it for me. I sat with my baby isolated while the others formed a gang without me. I even overheard one of them saying that she "didn't believe in dummy's" clearly directed at me and my DD.

I left after that and laugh at myself at the stuck up bitches!

Definitely leave and find another group. Don't worry if it takes a while to find one you like - your baby doesn't care at this age, the groups are really for you. I had to try half a dozen groups to find a couple I liked, but it was worth persevering because I made good friends there. The Sure Start ones are friendly if you still have them locally.

They sound awful for excluding you like that, hopefully the baby group will have some new members join soon. Otherwise if you are on Facebook, there are usually mums groups for the town you live in or nearby. It's a good place to ask other mums if they have a baby and willing to meet up, usually those types of posts attract quite a few mums looking for company. Now the weather is nicer, a trip to the park and for coffee / grab a bite to eat is a nice way to get to know other mums while baby is still little.

Agree with others quit, you don’t need these people in your life. At 5 months he dosnt need to socialise yet. Take him to the park, soft play areas (if open), put your name down for other groups or see if there are any other casual baby activities going on.

O I forgot to add, make sure you leave feedback about the lack of inclusiveness in the group.

They sound awful. Also your baby doesn't need to socialise with other babies just yet. So don't worry. You'll find somewhere else. Or try chatting to another group of parents at the playgroup