My boyfriend doesn't help with our baby or the housework

[Kaayyyx]

I have a beautiful 7 month old son and I'm so happy but my boyfriend doesn't help with him at all. My boyfriend works everyday, he leaves at about 5am but is back home by 9am sometimes earlier whereas mine is seven days a week. 24/7. It's like pulling teeth to get him to watch our 7-month-old for half an hour so I can take a shower or just get a breather. He won't change a nappy unless he only does a wee, even then I have to argue with him to do it. He has only changed a nappy maybe 3-4 times since our son has been born, same with his bottles I have to argue with him to give him a bottle so I can tidy the house or make the dinner etc and then he gives me a hard time about it. The same goes for even giving the baby attention. I can't get him to clean, cook, or help with the laundry either. I'm exhausted and I never have time for myself. He has only ever bought him 2 babygrows, myself and my family have bought everything. He also won't take him out for a day out or anything. We have never done anything as a family of 3. Everything just upsets me. What can I do?

@Kaayyyx

Thanks ladies, I am going to leave him. I just don't know how to start the conversation.

As above - it's not a conversation. You are telling him.

Lots of preparation will make it much easier - write yourself a script beforehand (short et - "This relationship is not working for any of us. It's over, you need to leave now") and have someone with you or nearby for support. Don't deviate from the script. Know in advance he's likely to kick off in some way (angry/apologetic/begging/sobbing etc) but stick to the script.

Kicking someone out is like childbirth - messy, painful and humiliating but over pretty quickly and so very very worth doing in the long term.

Did he want a baby op? Like was it planned snd he agreed? It doesn't sound like it from that horrible comment he said to you. Agree with others and you - leave him. You don't have the family you want right now anyway. You snd DS are a family. And you will both be much happier. No need to have a conversation. Just get your things in order then next time he comes in the door from work just say "it's over, please pack your things and move out".

You don’t need to have a conversation.

Pack his bags whilst he’s at work, leave them on the doorstep l, block his number and then go out. Go to your parents or anyone else you trust and tell them everything so they can support and reaffirm your decision.
They can also be there when you return o your home to back sure he’s not there bombarding you to be let in or “promising to change”.

He. Will. Not. Ever. Change. Right now you’re sharing your home with a parasite and you don’t need to. Time to clean house.

I just don't know how to start the conversation.

No conversation needed. Just a message. "Hi X, our relationship isn't working for me. Mainly due to you being a waste of space. I don't want you in my house any more so you can collect your stuff from the doorstep whenever's convenient. I'd come before it rains, though, if you want to save the electricals. Oh and I've blocked your number so don't bother messaging or calling me again."

Good luck OP I hope you kick him out, you will be much better off without this waster.

You cannot totally block communication with him if you have a child together, which is why I suggested you tell him that he can email you. But as long as you check your emails (at your own convenence) and respond to them (or, if things get nastier, get your solicitor to respond) then you can block his phone number/social media etc.

Start the conversation by having it IRL with someone else. Can you tell a family member or a friend that you want him to leave? Say it out loud and it’ll start to get real.

You really really don't have to have any conversation whatsoever before you change the locks. You do have allow him to contact you afterwards (unless he becomes abusive in any way in which case, solicitor).

It amazes me how childish and cowardly some men are regarding the decision to have children. He clearly didn't want to be a father. So why on earth didn't he just go instead of creating this mess?

I thought that I'm the only one we've got 3 kids 2 girls and a premature baby boy. He won't help at all with him he's 8 months now he we won't feed him change him bath him or take him to the appointments. He's working 6am to 6 pm for 4 days and the other 4 days he's home. The only thing he does is cook. And look after the other 2 kids. But even so he won't clean the house. The house can be a mess but he won't bother to clean. He's constantly throwing in my face that I don't cook. But our baby boy he's on a tube feed at home and oxygen and it's really hard to leave him unsupervised for the to cook. I barely manage to clean the room that he's stays in. He's crying a lot and there's only me and my mum that can calm him down. I only have my mum home after 6pm. Everyday. He's not willing to learn how to do his feeds or to try to put him to sleep. We have started to argue quite a lot after christmas. Main reason is that he doesn't get the attention that he wants. I just don't feel the need anymore. The older child goes to bed by herself but the other 2 I've got to put them to bed,he won't do it. And after that he's complaining why the toddler is in our bed. Sometimes when I put the toddler down the baby screams so I'm running to him and it's easier to put both kids.to bed in my bed and move my daughter back in her room once she's asleep. The baby is on tight feeds every 3 hours. So there's not much sleep for me. I'm at the point where I feel that he can go there's no need for us to keep going. I'm not sure he feels the same way but I've had enough of his "help"

My partner also says this. He does absolutely NOTHING for our son. He even tried forcing me to abort him and has told me if I ever get pregnant again he's leaving or will make me abort it. I'm 20 and have given up having kids how horrid is that!! Hes not changed a single nappy in 6 months coz "thats a mother's job thanks", he says he makes our sons food, which he does but only coz its frozen stuff of what we eat so no extra effort there!! He holds him for about 5 minutes a day and will constantly ignore him for Facebook. His love for me is very conditional. If I don't do the dishes for 2 days he screams at me so I left him to be in charge of them...he left them for 2 WEEKS and didn't see a problem. Last time I tried to leave he called me by his ex 's name "dawn don't do this!". I am truly hateful towards this man and what hes done and I am still stuck here. I need to do better for myself and my son yet for some reason its like im glued to him. I know its anxious attachment and I just need to be strong and go. I've tried leaving for the last 2 years...sometimes he won't let me and sometimes irs things like I forget my sons birth certificate or whatever. I understand where ur at but he doesn't add anything to ur life and...would u want ur son to grow up to be like ur partner?? I sure wouldn't!!

Oh and bonus points he doesn't even work and Is still a slacker!!!!