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Very clever child, what do I do, if anything?

88 replies

SquarePeggyLeggy · 20/05/2021 22:40

There’s no way for this to sound not like a humble brag. I’ll caveat by explaining, I have three children, and have not experienced anything like this until the youngest. My kids have several cousins, they are also not like this.
My oldest child is quite bright but quite lazy and uninterested in school work, he wants to do a trade, isn’t interested in further study, which is fine. He also has ADHD. So his marks and school work are all over the place. My second child is quite average, performs straight down the middle, is quite creative but again, not academically focused and nothing out of the ordinary school wise, and did briefly require learning support. In summary, I’m not a crazy person who thinks all of her children are brilliant geniuses.
We have a youngest child who turned 2 in March. So this is very young. She was drawing the other day and wrote a perfect letter e. She called out:”Mummy, look, e!” I couldn’t believe it, so rubbed it out and asked her to do it again. She did, perfectly. I then wrote down a series of letters and asked her what they were, she got them all correct, I varied upper and lower case. We also have read her a book about shapes, maybe 3 times. She points them all out correctly in the environment, including more advanced ones like “diamond”. She knows big, medium and small (but does call them Daddy, Mummy and baby, like baby cow for a calf and Daddy cow for a bull). We do baby dancing, and she knows and correctly does all of the choreography. She anticipates it and does it in advance, she remembers it. They’ve moved her in with older kids at nursery for learning groups and the dancing teacher has put her in the class with 4 year olds.
Is this normal? I don’t think it is. My other children knew their letters by the time they started school, but only just, and they could write their names but not really other words or letters. That seemed to be normal amoungst their cohort.
What should we do, if anything, to support this? Previously I’ve provided toys, lots of outdoor time and we always had a bed time story, but my other kids mainly liked running around, imaginary play and destroying the house. Confused
This child will sit and complete puzzles and activity cubes. She draws and draws and leads through books. She observes what I’m doing and comes to help and she is helpful! She realises the goal of any activity (like taking the washing out of the machine) and does it until it’s done. She watches once and knows how to do things correctly. She can navigate the Netflix to find Shaun the Sheep for example.

I feel as though she could have some support to really extend herself. At the same time, she is a baby in nappies, and I’m very much not a flash card drilling kind of Mum.

My brother is highly intelligent, he was skipped ahead in school and it resulted in a mental health crisis for him, so there’s that.

What do people do in this situation? Maybe learn an instrument? Language class or something? I don’t know. In other areas she’s totally just turned two: still in nappies, has a baby voice and baby grammar, ie sounds her age when she talks.

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goodbyestranger · 20/05/2021 22:43

Do absolutely nothing and don't be tempted to push her up a year at school.

mrsed1987 · 20/05/2021 22:43

My son is two and 4 months. He knows his numbers up to 25, can count backwards from 10, knows plenty of shapes and letters although hasn't drawn letters yet....

I don't think she sounds particularly advanced but maybe I'm wrong...

Personally I'd just carry on as you are, reading and play.

Terrazzo · 20/05/2021 22:44

Sounds like a lovely bright little thing. Just do what you’re doing. Play, read, involve her. As you were!

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NotAnotherPushyMum · 20/05/2021 22:45

Do nothing because what you’re already doing is clearly what she needs.

Couchpotato3 · 20/05/2021 22:45

Honestly, you don't need to 'do' anything. Just be around for her, support her interests and let her develop at her own pace. A truly bright/advanced child won't need any special help from you (except trips to the library, books, pencils etc). She will do what she's going to do! Good luckCake

DelurkingAJ · 20/05/2021 22:46

Enjoy it and answer all her questions (even when the answer is shall we look that up together).

As someone who was put up a year many moons ago and was miserable until I got back into my own year, please avoid doing that unless her birthday is in the first two weeks of September or so!

MamaWeasel · 20/05/2021 22:47

Lots and lots of reading, helping, and playing. They sound like a joy to be around. 🙂

Lockdowndramaqueen · 20/05/2021 22:48

Let her lead you. She will probably have a voracious appetite for learning but let it be in all things and make sure there is lots of physical and social challenge for her too. Good luck. I had one like this - it was exhausting when she was small keeping up with her. School have been great at giving her different opportunities. Just be open.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/05/2021 22:49

She sounds great, but she really won't be moved up a year at school.

paralysedbyinertia · 20/05/2021 22:50

Firstly, there's no way to tell at this stage if she is particularly intelligent or just a precocious developer. Some highly gifted children show their ability at a very early age, some don't. Some very early developers level out as they get older, others stay ahead of their peers. It's far too early to say.

Secondly, if it does turn out that she is highly intelligent, you don't need to "do" anything. Just let her carry on learning through play, encourage her to pursue her interests and ensure that she has equal opportunity to develop in a wide range of different areas - physical, social, emotional, creative etc, not just academic.

Child development is fascinating, and it's natural to be excited about what your child can do, especially if she seems advanced for her age, but ultimately, you have to remember that she is just a two-year-old child. She doesn't need labels or special input. She just needs lots of love, attention and nurturing, like any other toddler.

Jahebejrjr · 20/05/2021 22:51

In my experience the youngest child often appears advanced because they benefit from having older siblings to learn from.

MsTSwift · 20/05/2021 22:54

Dh old Friends had a child like this. My god she was miles ahead of our exactly same age dd and her peers. We are watching with interest and hope she becomes prime minister! Lovely girl too.

whatswithtodaytoday · 20/05/2021 22:54

Mine is the same age and very similar - it doesn't seem especially advanced to me? He can count to 20 and reads some numbers up to 100 with varying degrees of success, can count up to five objects, can draw a 2, can read all the alphabet. Nursery have said he's doing well for his age but they haven't moved him up or anything like that, they just play and socially he's a bit emotional still, he needs to be in the 2-3 room.

I don't think there's any need to do anything now. They usually seem to even out and if when he's at school he needs more support to push him, that's an appropriate time to think about it.

GrumpyHoonMain · 20/05/2021 22:58

My son is 17 mths old and is able to not only recognise letters but can tell me all the words he thinks begin with it and he’s almost always right. Reading just makes sense to some kids - but he won’t be considered G&T unless he can comprehend too. So for example DB was in G&T programmes from 3 and could read a book and tell the teacher what the story was in his own words. His reading took us all by surprise - at that point we just thought he was good at maths like our grandad was & used to use him as a handy calculator lol.

Remaker · 20/05/2021 22:59

You just try to keep her as happy and supported as you can. There is no magic formula. Some kids will want to learn the periodic table at 3 and others with the same ability will be happy running around with their friends and appearing completely “average”. Follow her lead.

cheeseismydownfall · 20/05/2021 23:00

Hmmm, she sounds bright enough but by no means unusual. At least one of my children would have been able to do each of the things you mention. I don't think it's unusual for young children to demonstrate surprisingly advanced skills, especially if they are engaged at home. When my DD had only just turned to two, I remember her cutting some play dough into three pieces and saying "I've made thirds". I asked what she would get if she cut each of her pieces in half again and she barely missed a beat before saying "sixths". Her playschool were gobsmacked by her mathematical ability. Now she's in Y6 and she's still very good at maths, but in a completely unexceptional way.

I'd just engage with her and enjoy her and let her develop at her own pace.

Tinty · 20/05/2021 23:01

^What should we do, if anything, to support this? Previously I’ve provided toys, lots of outdoor time and we always had a bed time story.^

What you are doing is exactly what she needs. Keep doing it and enjoy her. I think like Pp, she has older siblings so is probably learning from them.

nimbuscloud · 20/05/2021 23:04

My son was like this. Writing at 3 and reading at 4. Excelled all through school. Got a 1st in Uni. Very happy now working in financial markets.
We just provided what he needed, when he needed it. Lots of books. Lots of access to music. Lots of fun.

merryhouse · 20/05/2021 23:17

Lots of puzzles. Jigsaws to start but as she gets older there are a whole load of different ones which are fun: Rush Hour, Tantrix, Multipuzzle (not sure this is still available - Tangrams is similar, I think), Rubik's cube; then there are a whole load of paper-based ones which might take a bit of introduction (Sudoku, Slitherlink and so on).

Quite young children can sometimes get a lot of enjoyment out of chess though the choice of opponent would have to be considered carefully. Do you have an electronic chess tutor?

We played a lot of snakes and ladders about that age - no actual strategy involved but gets the child used to rules and taking turns, and coping with bad luck (and indeed with good luck).

Lego (once she's stopped putting things in her mouth, which she may well have done by now). Encourage both the more technical pieces and a bit of free thought - left to myself I invariably built a house, while S2 felt that he never knew what to do without a set of instructions. Later on you can maybe add Mindstorms? Meccano and K'nex - both do a junior version.

Pre-coding toys - we had something called Beebot which was cute (Good God, the price of it now is ridiculous I'm sure I didn't pay anywhere near that). Electronics kit.

Craft. Origami (you can buy kits). Knitting and so on.

Definitely instruments but probably not for a few years yet - I know Suzuki and Yamaha do great things with small children in classes learning by ear but they are definitely classes, with a whole peer group learning together. I wouldn't formally introduce keyboard lessons till at least 5, though if you have an electronic one she can enjoy pressing the different buttons. In the meantime play clapping games and sing nursery rhymes (I was going to say walking in time but then remembered the paragraph about dancing classes). What you do later will depend on the school's offering - if they do a class recorder course then don't introduce recorder till afterwards but if they've decided to go for ukelele instead you can show her recorder, for example.

Dancing is a great idea but be wary of having her think she's "really good" because she's with the older ones. I mean, she might turn out to be very good but statistically it's more likely that she'll just be plodding along like the rest of us and will end up completely the wrong shape anyway.

Having taken up karate in later life I've become one of those boring converts Grin - it's something different from school work but unlike PE doesn't involve you having to be in the better half of the group to get much out of the class. Most places won't take them much before five.

Oh, and get used to people saying "well, she doesn't sound that bright to me" and "all that matters is that she's kind and happy" and "by the time they're ten they've all caught up anyway" Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/05/2021 23:20

Absolutely nothing.

6 kids....

1 Learning difficulties and extra needs
2 Bang on average
3 Very intelligent
4 Gifted
5 Hard to tell, I would say very intelligent but also very lazy and belligerent!
6 Primary age, working well ahead of her peers but this may settle down later

Number 4 is (not) doing her GCSE's this year and has been predicted 9's in everything, I have never pushed her or attempted to "stretch" her because I am a) not a teacher so didnt want to do more harm than good and b) her mother, I dont want her to feel that all I care about is her achievements.

What I have done for all of them is give them the opportunity to learn and push themselves if they want to. The house is full of books, I love history so we have always visited places that teach us new things historically, we go to museums etc Thats not all we do of course, maccies and an hour in the park where I ignored them with a book happened more often :o

Look at your brother.....he probably felt that his worth was tied up in his brain, I certainly did (similar issues to your brother) and as a result pushed back so hard that I achieved very little academically compared to what I could have done because I was being pushed sooo hard.

Let her alone, what will be will be.

IslandLulu · 20/05/2021 23:21

Your DD sounds delightful, but there's nothing you describe that makes me think she's Mensa material.

One of my DC could sit up at four months, walk at 10 months, draw amazingly well before his 2nd birthday - he drew animals that looked like what they were meant to be, people with fingers, eyebrows etc.

At two he also had a wide vocabulary, great ball skills, could cut accurately with scissors. At three he could pick simple melodies on the piano by ear.

He's now finishing university and so yes, he is still bright, but not amazingly so. He no longer stands out from his peers.

Children develop at different rates. Your DD may be ahead of others now, but that doesn't make her a genius.

Enjoy her Smile

KaleJuicer · 20/05/2021 23:24

She sounds lovely! I was put up a year at school (not Uk) and it was annoying being younger. Just expose her to books, books and more books!

AMillionMilesAway · 20/05/2021 23:25

I'd let her be for now.
See how she gets on when she starts school.

SquarePeggyLeggy · 21/05/2021 00:55

Yes, I’m very wary of how I sound. There is a nightmare bully kid at our school whose parents excuse his behaviour by saying he’s bored because he’s so gifted and this is why he acts out. SO don’t want to be a deluded parent like that.
She is delightful and very enjoyable to be around, because she’s so tuned in to what’s going around that she goes with the flow! I will just enjoy her and follow her lead.

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SquarePeggyLeggy · 21/05/2021 00:58

I’m also shocked that so many other posters had experienced similar at such a young age. This wasn’t my experience with the others at all!

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