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Very clever child, what do I do, if anything?

88 replies

SquarePeggyLeggy · 20/05/2021 22:40

There’s no way for this to sound not like a humble brag. I’ll caveat by explaining, I have three children, and have not experienced anything like this until the youngest. My kids have several cousins, they are also not like this.
My oldest child is quite bright but quite lazy and uninterested in school work, he wants to do a trade, isn’t interested in further study, which is fine. He also has ADHD. So his marks and school work are all over the place. My second child is quite average, performs straight down the middle, is quite creative but again, not academically focused and nothing out of the ordinary school wise, and did briefly require learning support. In summary, I’m not a crazy person who thinks all of her children are brilliant geniuses.
We have a youngest child who turned 2 in March. So this is very young. She was drawing the other day and wrote a perfect letter e. She called out:”Mummy, look, e!” I couldn’t believe it, so rubbed it out and asked her to do it again. She did, perfectly. I then wrote down a series of letters and asked her what they were, she got them all correct, I varied upper and lower case. We also have read her a book about shapes, maybe 3 times. She points them all out correctly in the environment, including more advanced ones like “diamond”. She knows big, medium and small (but does call them Daddy, Mummy and baby, like baby cow for a calf and Daddy cow for a bull). We do baby dancing, and she knows and correctly does all of the choreography. She anticipates it and does it in advance, she remembers it. They’ve moved her in with older kids at nursery for learning groups and the dancing teacher has put her in the class with 4 year olds.
Is this normal? I don’t think it is. My other children knew their letters by the time they started school, but only just, and they could write their names but not really other words or letters. That seemed to be normal amoungst their cohort.
What should we do, if anything, to support this? Previously I’ve provided toys, lots of outdoor time and we always had a bed time story, but my other kids mainly liked running around, imaginary play and destroying the house. Confused
This child will sit and complete puzzles and activity cubes. She draws and draws and leads through books. She observes what I’m doing and comes to help and she is helpful! She realises the goal of any activity (like taking the washing out of the machine) and does it until it’s done. She watches once and knows how to do things correctly. She can navigate the Netflix to find Shaun the Sheep for example.

I feel as though she could have some support to really extend herself. At the same time, she is a baby in nappies, and I’m very much not a flash card drilling kind of Mum.

My brother is highly intelligent, he was skipped ahead in school and it resulted in a mental health crisis for him, so there’s that.

What do people do in this situation? Maybe learn an instrument? Language class or something? I don’t know. In other areas she’s totally just turned two: still in nappies, has a baby voice and baby grammar, ie sounds her age when she talks.

OP posts:
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RowanAlong · 21/05/2021 01:28

I’d just keep reading with her, more than you are doing. Reading and more reading, and just let her do drawing and more drawing! Problem solving games, mathslink numberblocks. Enjoy!

WickedQueen · 21/05/2021 01:35

I’m also shocked that so many other posters had experienced similar at such a young age. This wasn’t my experience with the others at all!

Mumsnet innit.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 21/05/2021 02:02

Sounds wonderful. Very glad for you original poster. Carry on doing what you are doing and try to assess whether this development advancement continues at the same early pace. I and my siblings were apparently early advanced developers too. Just need to ensure such children are fulfilled and not bored at school with activities that do not challenge note reflective of ability. I and sibling did normal kindergarten pre school but also our own learning. Consequently school, university, advanced degrees and professional studies were a breeze and in addition to academics artistic and sporting advancement was also good as enjoyable for an all rounded balance. Try to initiate exposure to other languages in due course perhaps? Polyglots are rare but someone has to be! Why not your child?!

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Shareddriveagghh · 21/05/2021 02:04

DS was like this, very advanced, he ended up with three A levels at grade A and is certainly intelligent but on a sort of acceptable level. More importantly he has good social skills and is excellent at reading situations.

DH and I were very advanced but to the point of being considered a bit odd. DH was put forward one and maybe even two years at school, I could read really well before I went to school and was self taught. I was reading classic literature age 8.

When I read about gifted dc on here, quite often they are just very clever regular children. That’s the best way to be. Myself and DH were very lucky to find each other.

Pinkpaisley · 21/05/2021 02:04

I have a similar child. You just let her be herself. Like all kids have lots of books and offer a variety of experiences. If she wants to dig deeper into a subject or activity, try to provide the opportunity.

As she gets older, if this persists, she may face some challenges. It can be very difficult not having real peers. It helps if you can provide opportunities to be around similar children. There can also be self-induced pressure for perfection since so many things come easily so anxiety and mental health is a real concern.

NiceGerbil · 21/05/2021 02:13

Do nothing different. She's only 2!

If she continues to be ahead of the game.

Make sure she doesn't fall into the trap of giving up on anything she can't do straight away.

Make sure you praise all the children equally and get them to appreciate each others achievements.

If she really is that clever she will do fine but may get bored. Let her have books/ workbooks etc which challenge her at home.

Just being clever doesn't guarantee success. You need to be well rounded.

Don't push her.

NiceGerbil · 21/05/2021 02:17

Agree with pp being v clever can be difficult.

One of mine keeps coming home and saying that the teacher was inaccurate about this or that. And she's right.
I said yes it's annoying but keep your head down in school and keep reading and learning at home. Pointing out teachers are incorrect is not a route to go down!

She just knows so much about so many things. I say let's debate discuss at home etc.

helpmebeanadult · 21/05/2021 03:00

My first could recognise all letters etc, count, knew all shapes, had a good vocabulary etc etc before she was two. The downside is when they get to school, they do stuff that is far too easy for them and are kind of left on hold until the class catch up (Y1 now, ofsted outstanding, so I'm guessing most state schools are like this). I don't think bright kids are challenged and spend early years learning to coast and so have to learn to formally learn at a much later date than their peers. I'd do some research now and look into schools that can appropriately manage bright kids within their age group. My youngest is 1, she can't recognise any letters and only says a few words, but is much more advanced than my first was at that age on the physical side. Kids are all different. Take her lead and enjoy her, read with her, try some different activities to see what she likes and go with the flow. She sounds lovely.

1forAll74 · 21/05/2021 03:02

She sounds like a bright little girl, who picks things up quickly, and remembers things well.When my son was this age, many years ago,he could read ,write and talk really well. He just seemed to retain all the things that I taught him every day, He was always wanting to look at books in the house. and try and copy,and draw the pictures he saw in them.

When he was two, I remember one day when my late Husband came home from work, he was just taking his coat off, and my son said, Daddy, can we look at the aeroplane book now, and the big plane.
Myself and Husband were a bit gobsmacked to hear his longish sentence. My husband had some books about aircraft,with lots of coloured photo's in them,my son put one book on the floor, and was turning all the pages over quickly,until he found the big centre spread page, with a massive jumbo jet plane on it,, the one he had remembered from before.

VashtaNerada · 21/05/2021 04:26

As a teacher she certainly does sound very able. As others have said, keep up what you’re doing. Give her a range of experiences and have lots of conversations with her. She may remain ahead of her peers at school, or others might catch up. My DC were very able in the early years too, and now are doing fairly well academically but no longer ‘top of the class’. It could go either way.

SD1978 · 21/05/2021 04:48

@SquarePeggyLeggy - I do was you, I'd talk to the nursery. These posts always seem to end up with the majority of people telling you that their child 6 months younger is reading Harry Potter and speaks fluent mandarin, self taught..........whilst you probably don't need to 'do' anything, as long as she is engaged, happy and not frustrated with what she's currently doing, then you probably don't need to worry about you're currently providing. But unless your kid was walking at 5 months and knew three languages by aged one, you'll usually be told that your kid is average, if not below average, in response to this type of question......

FrozenVag · 21/05/2021 04:49

Focus, if anything, on her social skills because actually that’s more important in the medium term

I might be biased: my son was reading at 3.5 and is incredibly bright but really struggled on the social front - now that he’s matured he’s become a far more rounded person and is a joy to raise - I love the questions and thirst for knowledge but you don’t want her racing ahead of everybody too much because that’s really isolating

Fishandhips · 21/05/2021 05:01

Save for private school as state school will not adequately support and push her.

sashh · 21/05/2021 05:07

We played a lot of snakes and ladders about that age - no actual strategy involved but gets the child used to rules and taking turns, and coping with bad luck (and indeed with good luck).

I used to babysit a kid who loved snakes and ladders but hated the having to roll a six to start, I bought weighted dice, the weighted one was her special die, and she always started before me so OP if you are going to be doing a lot of games then consider a weighted die.

I agree with all the others saying just have fun, but also make sure she is ready for school in being able to use the toilet independently and fasten her shoes.

There are some incredibly smart people in my family but the most academic seem to live half their lives in their heads and not pick up the practical things we all need to do.

MyOtherProfile · 21/05/2021 05:11

She sounds great! As pp have said,go with her flow and follow her interests. Let her have lots of books and stimulate her curiosity. Build her vocabulary and also her general knowledge. As she grows up talk to her about the world - geography, history, science as part of general conversation. Do it with all 3 together too.

Happyhappyday · 21/05/2021 05:11

You could think about a Montessori type preschool/nursery. It’s not for genius children but it does let kids learn at their own pace and gravitate towards what they’re interested. I love it for the end goal of just fostering a lifelong curiosity.

catinboots123 · 21/05/2021 05:11

I love these threads - tbh honest we haven't have a Brainiac baby thread for a while though. Well done OP

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 21/05/2021 05:19

My DD1 is bright and capable (greater depth in all areas of the curriculum now she’s in Y2) but hates when things are hard work. She’s not used to it. Make sure you challenge your DD so she gets used to things not always being easy. Practise more difficult dance routines, sort the washing into different categories, read age appropriate books together. Just because she can read and understand Shakespeare doesn’t mean it’s appropriate.

Onestep2021 · 21/05/2021 05:34

Thank you @merryhouse for those suggestions.
OP- I too have a bright young child.
I don’t want to push him at all but also I do want to nurture his curiosity etc, so I understand your line of questioning.
Of course, it goes without saying that being ‘bright’ early on isn’t an indicator of anything really..

But. Things I’ve thought about and encourage.,,
Books books books
Crafts
Musician ship classes - I think this is worth introducing. Music really shapes the brain.
Physical stuff- gymnastics etc.

It’s a bit early but you might want to do a phonics class or something the year before school. There are games you can play at home to start the whole thing off..
Ie. Flash cards/ sheets of A4 with all the letters of alphabet. 26 items corresponding to letters - apple; banana, cat toy etc
You get them to place object on letter.

We did lots of puzzles

Plus we leave him alone to play by himself and get a bit bored quite a bit. His imaginative play has really improved this last year

FloconDeNeige · 21/05/2021 05:43

@nimbuscloud

On the other hand; I wasn’t; was a late reader, and average at reception age. I also got a 1st at university, and a PhD (chemistry) and now work as an expat in pharma.

Gwegowygwiggs · 21/05/2021 05:47

I actually do appreciate that a lot of what she's doing seems very advanced, however, I think this is simply a case of different child ---> different interests.

My son turned 2 at the end of April and he knows the entire alphabet and has done for months. Admittedly he can't write any of the letters yet, however he has an alphabet puzzle and we jumble the letters up and he correctly puts the entire thing back together with zero assistance from us and says each letter as he goes. We have an etch a sketch and we write random numbers and letters on it and he correctly recites them, and never ever gets it wrong. He knows every shape, he even gets hexagon / pentagon right by counting the number of sides (I don't even know the difference, my husband taught him!) - he also can count to 20, and backwards, and knows every animal and the noise they make.

HOWEVER!!!!!! I can ask him if he had a nice day at nursery and he completely ignores me. I ask him to choose between two snacks and I might as well be talking to a brick wall.

My point is - every child has different interests and they all learn at their own pace. Yes, she is advanced in some areas but it all balances out eventually when they get to school, and if it doesn't, then you can decide to actively support a gifted child so that they don't waste potential, but at 2 years old it's almost impossible to know which way it's going. For not, enjoy your child and learning with them, that's what I plan on doing.

Noteventhebestdrummer · 21/05/2021 05:55

Definitely learn an instrument! Violin is great because you can get fractional sized ones AND string instruments train the ear rather than say just playing notes on a piano.

A PP mentioned that Suzuki was group tuition but it isn't, the children have individual lessons as well as regular group. Some Suzuki teachers are wonderful, find the personality that suits you rather than trusting the system! Or find a regular violin teacher like me who loves teaching little smart kids.

abeanbaked · 21/05/2021 05:56

@merryhouse

Lots of puzzles. Jigsaws to start but as she gets older there are a whole load of different ones which are fun: Rush Hour, Tantrix, Multipuzzle (not sure this is still available - Tangrams is similar, I think), Rubik's cube; then there are a whole load of paper-based ones which might take a bit of introduction (Sudoku, Slitherlink and so on).

Quite young children can sometimes get a lot of enjoyment out of chess though the choice of opponent would have to be considered carefully. Do you have an electronic chess tutor?

We played a lot of snakes and ladders about that age - no actual strategy involved but gets the child used to rules and taking turns, and coping with bad luck (and indeed with good luck).

Lego (once she's stopped putting things in her mouth, which she may well have done by now). Encourage both the more technical pieces and a bit of free thought - left to myself I invariably built a house, while S2 felt that he never knew what to do without a set of instructions. Later on you can maybe add Mindstorms? Meccano and K'nex - both do a junior version.

Pre-coding toys - we had something called Beebot which was cute (Good God, the price of it now is ridiculous I'm sure I didn't pay anywhere near that). Electronics kit.

Craft. Origami (you can buy kits). Knitting and so on.

Definitely instruments but probably not for a few years yet - I know Suzuki and Yamaha do great things with small children in classes learning by ear but they are definitely classes, with a whole peer group learning together. I wouldn't formally introduce keyboard lessons till at least 5, though if you have an electronic one she can enjoy pressing the different buttons. In the meantime play clapping games and sing nursery rhymes (I was going to say walking in time but then remembered the paragraph about dancing classes). What you do later will depend on the school's offering - if they do a class recorder course then don't introduce recorder till afterwards but if they've decided to go for ukelele instead you can show her recorder, for example.

Dancing is a great idea but be wary of having her think she's "really good" because she's with the older ones. I mean, she might turn out to be very good but statistically it's more likely that she'll just be plodding along like the rest of us and will end up completely the wrong shape anyway.

Having taken up karate in later life I've become one of those boring converts Grin - it's something different from school work but unlike PE doesn't involve you having to be in the better half of the group to get much out of the class. Most places won't take them much before five.

Oh, and get used to people saying "well, she doesn't sound that bright to me" and "all that matters is that she's kind and happy" and "by the time they're ten they've all caught up anyway" Hmm

Good god she's going to be busy.
CustardyCreams · 21/05/2021 05:57

Just to add, no it isn’t “normal” - normal is hitting expectations which at age 2 are not very demanding. It sounds like your little girl is bright as a button and that you are lovely and sensible.

I agree you should carry on as you are, making sure she has lots of opportunities for creative play, lots of books (take her to a library regularly if you can), lots of puzzles (refreshed regularly by buying cheap on FB local market), lots of toys to build, simple board games as and when her ability to sit and concentrate. Kim’s game is fun, where you have a tray with some simple objects, she gets to look at it, then you cover it and remove one item and she has to say what’s gone. Start easy and gradually increase number of objects.

Talk to her in a way that brings in new vocabulary, and help her use maths in everyday life, eg counting, staring things out, sorting by shape, working out simple “how many more than” problems (here are 6 carrots and 2 peppers, how many more carrots than peppers are there; I’ve got 2 buns here, how many more do I need so we have one each etc).

At 2, she may be able to join a baby ballet class if that is of interest. I agree no formal music lessons yet, but clapping patterns, playing notes on a keyboard, copying a tune, making up verses to a nursery rhyme like Old MacDonald, etc.

It’s really nice to have a bright child, it can be exhausting so remember just trailing after you older kids and yourself will feed her little brain, you don’t always have to provide activities - each day having time to explore and be bored will teach her to find things to do independently (unless this leads to a lot of mischief in which case, rethink!).

Oblomov21 · 21/05/2021 06:08

I'm surprised op doesn't know that just because a child is bright and ahead as a toddler this means nothing.
How bright a child is peaks and troughs throughout schooling.

It's a bit like being particularly beautiful. Stunning child models often aren't that beautiful in later life. It's the ugly ducklings, or the bog standard normal ones that you've never noticed that suddenly bloom late abc become stunning.

Likewise rarely do bright toddlers remain bright. Occasionally they do. But often it's the nerdy child that you don't notice much throughout school, who when they get to A'level and Uni stage it becomes obvious that this child is exceptionally bright.

Calm down OP. Go with it and just enjoy.