One child to two

[happyface42]

How did people feel they managed going from one child to two compared to zero to one? And how long did it take you to adapt to your new life?

0-1 terrible
1-2 fine !!

0-1 crap
1-2 still haven't got my head around this lol

0-1 easy and loved every second
1-2 stressful and so much harder than I’d ever have imagined

0-1 lovely
1-2 extra lovely

DD1 was 2.6 years old when DD2 came along she she slot right in after a couple of weeks.

Expecting DD3 in the Autumn when the older two will be 4 and 21 months, hoping she falls into routine just as well. 🤞🏻

DS2 is 11 weeks and I just can't imagine him not being here now. I've found things (so far! A lot of time for it to all go wrong, I know!) astonishingly easier than I did the first time round.

I'm 2 weeks into 1-2 and so far emotionally I'm finding it a lot easier but my partner is still off on pat leave so I'm getting a lot more help than I will in a week or so and I'm not starting to worry and think 'oh god how will I juggle two?!' Baby is no trouble in the day but doesn't sleep well at night and toddler is now a threenager and testing boundaries big time!! Maybe it's the sleep deprivation that's given me a wobble today. I had PND with my first and am so paranoid I will get it again.

I've found 1-2 absolutely fine.I think it's part knowing more of what you're doing, having to be more relaxed and realising that your baby isn't going to implode if they have to cry/grumble for 3 minutes while you wipe your toddler's bum.

I was dreading my second arriving. I was obviously excited but didn't know how I would cope. It was a breeze as it turned out. For a start they don't move for a good few months so they were where you left them, you were prepared for the sleeplessness, you have a good idea how to look after it and most importantly is you have become used to the complete lack of freedom.

0-1 - an enormous shock, hated the newborn stage. Probably mild PND.
1-2 - really easy. I was the exact opposite to how I felt after DD1. I was already in parent mode, life didn’t really change much other than the exhaustion. It was a very happy first year (despite lockdown).

I won’t lie, it’s harder at the stage I’m at now. A threenager & one year old is full on 😩🙈 but I know it’ll get easier in time!

0-1 really really easy
1-2 also really really easy. I mean, much more work than first time round, but that's because toddlers are so much more demanding then a newborn imo, so the newborn didn't really add much extra work.

A mobile baby and a toddler, and toddler and preeschoolers, really difficult!

0-1 - bit of a shock but lovely
1-2 - easier than I thought!

I also had the worry that I wouldn’t cope when my husband went back to work, I cried when my HV asked how I was feeling about it, panic stricken at the thought of looking after two children on my own. Turns out it was absolutely fine & now it pisses me off when my husband isn’t at work because he ruins our little routine.

Sleep deprivation makes us overthink every tiny thing, your worries are very normal but please keep an eye on signs of PND & talk to someone if things get too much.

0 - 1 Completely life changing and exhausting and frustrating and really challenging

1 - 2 FAR easier. Had much more of an idea of what we were doing. Mostly though, down to personality of the child and your birth experience.

dc1 - I had a lengthy labour and difficult birth and was in hospital for 6 days before I came home
dc2 just popped out (didn't even get to a delivery suite) and I was home the next day.
dc1 used to be awake for hours in the night and we were exhausted
dc2 fed and went back to sleep

etc etc etc

2 - 3 - just fitted right in and hardly noticed she was there

@PlasticCupPolitics

0-1 - bit of a shock but lovely 1-2 - easier than I thought!

I also had the worry that I wouldn’t cope when my husband went back to work, I cried when my HV asked how I was feeling about it, panic stricken at the thought of looking after two children on my own. Turns out it was absolutely fine & now it pisses me off when my husband isn’t at work because he ruins our little routine.

Sleep deprivation makes us overthink every tiny thing, your worries are very normal but please keep an eye on signs of PND & talk to someone if things get too much.

Thank you for your reassuring post. I know if I wasn't so sleep deprived I'd be ok but slowly the lack of sleep and the fact she doesn't seem to be improving at night is making me anxious and as a result my mood is plummeting. I think sleep has a lot to answer for! My first was actually quite a good little sleeper when she finally settled. I'm only 2 weeks in though, I keep reminding myself that it's still such early days and to try not to panic too much yet.

0-1 easy, loved every moment, far better than I expected/than everyone told me it would be

1-2 HARD. The knowing what to do with a baby was easier, but the whole thing I found much, much harder. (I don't think having 2 under 2 and going into lockdown helped)

0-1 not easy but we survived
1-2 easy
2-3 also easy
3-5 tiring having 2 newborns but they slot in around the rest easily. Can take us a while to get out the house.
Expecting our 6th now.

Oh and worrying about hubby going back to work.... mine is military so works away a lot, I manage (may sound like a drill sergeant sometimes though ).

0-1 horrendous - complete change to lifestyle, exhaustion, tricky baby.

1-2 absolute dream in comparison. Tiring but no major lifestyle change this time, knew what to expect, much easier baby.

The sleep will get better, it really will, and let’s be fair, if it doesn’t you sort of just learn to cope on less sleep 😂
I am awful without sleep & found those first few weeks really difficult but now I just remind myself that it’s only temporary. If we’ve had a bad night I try to tell myself “it’s only x amount of hours until bed time, I can get through this” & if you manage to fill those hours with things like trips to the park, going for coffee etc, it makes it so much easier.

You will get through this & in a few weeks/months the three of you will have your own rhythm & you’ll wonder why you ever worried.

@IncyWincySpiderOnRepeat

0-1 horrendous - complete change to lifestyle, exhaustion, tricky baby.

1-2 absolute dream in comparison. Tiring but no major lifestyle change this time, knew what to expect, much easier baby.

This for me too. Though DC1 has been struggling to adjust a bit (understandably) which has been hard.

I found going from 1 to 2 much easier than 0 to 1. The first few weeks were tough as I guess me and DD were used to our routine so we had to readjust and get used to having DS as part of things. There was definitely a lot of screen time at first and on bad days I just focused on getting through it with us all fed, clean and safe.
My second hasn’t been a good sleeper but I’ve learnt that having both to look after distracts me from my tiredness compared to sitting on the sofa thinking about how tired I was (like I did with my first) and also that no matter how tired you are it’s always better to get out of the house even just for a walk. It distracts me and it gives DD a chance to run off some energy so that it’s easier when we get home.

@PlasticCupPolitics

The sleep will get better, it really will, and let’s be fair, if it doesn’t you sort of just learn to cope on less sleep 😂 I am awful without sleep & found those first few weeks really difficult but now I just remind myself that it’s only temporary. If we’ve had a bad night I try to tell myself “it’s only x amount of hours until bed time, I can get through this” & if you manage to fill those hours with things like trips to the park, going for coffee etc, it makes it so much easier.

You will get through this & in a few weeks/months the three of you will have your own rhythm & you’ll wonder why you ever worried.

This is very true and I keep reminding myself these sleepless night don't last forever!! Thank you for your comment, it helps to read it from others too!!

@user648482729

I found going from 1 to 2 much easier than 0 to 1. The first few weeks were tough as I guess me and DD were used to our routine so we had to readjust and get used to having DS as part of things. There was definitely a lot of screen time at first and on bad days I just focused on getting through it with us all fed, clean and safe. My second hasn’t been a good sleeper but I’ve learnt that having both to look after distracts me from my tiredness compared to sitting on the sofa thinking about how tired I was (like I did with my first) and also that no matter how tired you are it’s always better to get out of the house even just for a walk. It distracts me and it gives DD a chance to run off some energy so that it’s easier when we get home.

This is my plan!! To get out of the house and stay focused on other things other than how tired I am! Sitting and wallowing in how tired I am won't help and will probably make me feel worse, mind over matter!!

The first 3-4 months were difficult but that was because of sibling rivalry.

Otherwise it was absolutely fine.

0-1 quite a shock to system
1-2 very difficult as close in age and utterly exhausting

Should of said it got more exhausting once they were around 1 and oldest 3