Still peeing herself after a year potty training

[ML1706]

So we started potty training our daughter last year when she turned 2 as we had successfully potty trained our son at 20 months fairly quickly.
Now it's been a year and she still has 2 to 3 accidents daily 😣 her pre school has asked us to take her to the gp and seems to think something is wrong with her bladder and that she might need medications 😔
She sometimes doesn't say anything when she pees herself and seems happy to keep playing. When she does tell us, by the time we get to the bathroom she has done a big spot and needs to be changed.
Im doing laundry all the time! I got an appointment with gp next month and I got some training pants in the meantime as I feel like her preschool are getting fed up having to change her so often..
She never has accidents with number 2 only peeing.. any advice welcome!

Could she be constipated? That can cause wee accidents.

Has she always had 2-3 wee accidents since training, or is this a new thing?

If it’s always been the case then I would suggest she isn’t actually potty trained at all. Never has been.

I would actually buy some pull ups and put her in those for a few months. Then restart the potty training from scratch.

Agree that she isn’t potty trained
She’s not recognising the signs that she needs to go
Maybe she has grown to rely on the adults to tell her when to go to the toilet

Always had accidents, there's been days when she hasn't had any but those are rare. The fact that it's now been over a year is the reason why her pre school thinks her bladder can't hold it. I think she knows when she has to go but she's usually not wanting to stop playing and she knows she'll be changed anyway..

She's still young, I think pre school are being a bit dramatic about the need for medication. Potty training is not done yet and she needs more support to understand when she needs to go without adults help.
You can try some reward charts for completely dry days and see if that helps her to think about it more. I find kids are terrible for not wanting to stop playing to toilet and will often hold themselves too long, if you can break that habit she will crack it.

Do the accidents happen more at preschool or the at same rate at home?

Do you/preschool prompt her to use the toilet regularly?

Is she able to manage toileting herself? Can she do trousers up and down, climb onto the toilet ok?

Yes accidents happen more at pre school as she is so distracted playing, she foesn't seem to mind being wet though as she doesn't tell them she went. At home shd always tells us and sometimes goes on her own but most of the time xhe has done a big spot and will need changing..

So she's not potty trained, you just stopped putting nappies on her.
Think about it.

I mean it honestly sounds like she’s just not actually successfully potty trained? I would put her in nappies and try again in a few months

Sorry, I'm aware that came across quite rudely, but Dd wasn't out of nappies until well over three.
Once she was it was a breeze, as she was ready.
My neighbour had her son out of them at 2, she washed a lot of pants and couldn't get the bus, or go anywhere with him for months.
Put the nappies back on and wait until she's ready.

Oh, BTW, Dd rented a flat last year at age 19, there were no questions asking when she was potty trained.

I agree, she isn’t potty trained. I tried my son a couple of times without any luck. When he was ready, he was ready and I think he’s had 2 accidents in the last 8 months.

Put her back in nappies and try again in a little while.

I agree with the others. Put her in nappies, remove all mention of toilets and potties and try again in a few months.

Wow, a whole year of daily accidents. Agree with pp, she isn't trained.

Your DD isn't potty trained, OP.

Giver her a break in pull-ups and start again in the summer. Nursery sound a bit OTT

Good luck!

Yeah. She's not potty trained. Neural pathways haven't yet fully developed so if she's not ready, she's not ready. If your nursery is suggesting medication etc I'd be reporting to orated because last time I checked that was not acceptable

Ofsted not orated

@CandyLeBonBon

Yeah. She's not potty trained. Neural pathways haven't yet fully developed so if she's not ready, she's not ready. If your nursery is suggesting medication etc I'd be reporting to orated because last time I checked that was not acceptable

Why?? They clearly think she has some undiagnosed infection.

Because it's still very young and it can be perceived as discriminatory

@CandyLeBonBon

Because it's still very young and it can be perceived as discriminatory

. Pointing out a potential bladder infection is discriminatory in young children? I literally can't understand you.

It's unlikely to be a bladder infection with a year of accidents.

Young children potty train at differing rates. Several years ago, it was deemed unacceptable by ofsted that nurseries insist children must be potty trained at 3 because various neurological conditions which might be undiagnosed at that age, can make potty training more challenging. It was therefore considered discriminatory.

I'm not saying that's the case with the op, but private nurseries are not medical experts snd a year of accidents does not suggest a bladder infection.

Thank you for the replies, I won't be putting her back in nappies as she does tell us when she needs to go but her bladder can't hold it until she's on the potty, she never wears nappies at nap time and never has accidents and she only knows and tells us shen she needs a poo, never had accidents with those so putting her back in nappies would be a huge step backwards for the things she has mastered.
I got training pants which seem absorbing enough for large spots and I will be giving reward stickers a go.
I will still take her to the gp as pre school is insisting..

Why ask if you won't listen to posters? If you're going to take her to the GP anyway why waste people's time.

I honestly don't think going to the GP will help. You will probably find that the GP says similar to here. She is still only 3 and it is common for accidents at this age. It's been going on too long for it to be an infection etc.

You mention it's worse at preschool than home. Do you remind her to go or do preschool remind her to go? I think too many parents make the assumption that once their kids are out of nappies, they can just automatically take themselves off to the toilet everytime they need. Remind her every so often to go. Before meal times, before snack times, before you leave the house etc. IME nursery and CM did the same with my DC. At certain points in the day all the kids got taken to the loo to go.

Especially if she is too distracted playing etc. She needs help and encouragement to go still by the sounds of it. Also, can she actually dress herself? The other thing I see is parents 'potty training' children at 18 months who can't even pull their own pants up and down.

I would try to find some way of breaking the cycle. My son regressed in potty training to where he was having 2-3 accidents a day (only for a couple of weeks, so not like yours, but the experience may help).

I think our son had got used to the feeling of wet and no longer minded it. Also more accidents at school where distracted. And also thought accidents were "ok" as he knew he's just her changed and then continue with whatever he was doing.

I took him out of nursery for a week and kept him at home where I could control it. I went back to the beginning of potty training and left him with no pants/trousers for a couple of days inside. I explained to him why we were doing this and got him excited again about the potty with a reward chart. I bought a portable potty for the next few days when we started going out again. And then built up from there - within a couple of days we were back to normal.

Possibly worth a try if you haven't tried similar already.