Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Still peeing herself after a year potty training

65 replies

ML1706 · 02/05/2021 16:25

So we started potty training our daughter last year when she turned 2 as we had successfully potty trained our son at 20 months fairly quickly.
Now it's been a year and she still has 2 to 3 accidents daily 😣 her pre school has asked us to take her to the gp and seems to think something is wrong with her bladder and that she might need medications 😔
She sometimes doesn't say anything when she pees herself and seems happy to keep playing. When she does tell us, by the time we get to the bathroom she has done a big spot and needs to be changed.
Im doing laundry all the time! I got an appointment with gp next month and I got some training pants in the meantime as I feel like her preschool are getting fed up having to change her so often..
She never has accidents with number 2 only peeing.. any advice welcome!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 07:47

Taking her to the gp is not my choice, the pre school has been telling us for a while to do it and are very very insistent.
She is able to go by herself and sometimes does it.
I potty trained my son at 20 months very easily so it is possible but obviously every child is different. My daughter seems like she is able go go but chooses not too maybe because she knows she'll be changed?
I am very thankful for all the advice and do take it into account but I know more about the situation and should be the one to decide (no offence)

OP posts:

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 07:51

@mangoandraspberries it sounds exactly like my daughter, she doesn't seem to mind being wet and won't stop playing to go as she seems to know she'll be changed anyway.. 😣 I will try the rewards and I may get a portable potty too 😊

OP posts:

insancerre · 03/05/2021 07:57

You absolutely don’t need to take her to the GP if you don’t want to
The preschool have suggested it but it’s your choice and your child.
Have you told your child that you don’t want any more wet knickers?
Can you give her a reward for having no accidents for a day- doesn’t have to be anything major, a bottle of bubbles or a trip to the park, whatever would motivate her
I don’t agree with the poster who says to keep reminding her, that’s not very helpful in supporting a child to recognise their own body and to react accordingly
When children have accidents I make them get changed by themselves so it’s kind of a chore for them and takes them away from play
It sounds like it’s just become a habit and if it only happens at preschool then it suggests the problem is with them more than with your daughter - maybe she just likes the attention from having an adult to herself

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Children's health Families General health General parenting

BritInAus · 03/05/2021 08:02

It's not up to a preschool if you 'have' to take your child to a doctor or not.

Agree with others - your child isn't yet toilet trained. No big deal - not every child at 3 is. I personally can't imagine dealing with the amount of extra showers/baths and laundry that daily accidents would cause.

Best potty training advice I ever read? Do it when they're actually ready. That way it will be quick. So you can start a year earlier than when they're ready, and it'll take a year. Start that week, it'll take a few days.

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 08:03

@insancerre ot os definetely worse at pre school as she's so distracted there, at home it's often thst by the time we go upstairs to the potty she's already done a big spot so maybe she only feels when it starts and doesn't recognize the feeling of having to go?
I like the idea of making her change herself, I might try that thanks.
I slready have a phone appointement with gp scheduled, it does seem a bit unecessary to me but at least the pre school will stop mentionning it all the time

OP posts:

mummabubs · 03/05/2021 08:10

I know you've already implied that you're not going to follow any of the suggestions posters above have said, but as you asked(!)...

I agree your DD is not potty trained, she hasn't really regressed as it sounds like she's never reliably not had accidents?
My DH works in a child development service and they'd be recommending going back to basics (ie nappies).
Your pre-school can't demand that you take her to a GP. I work in medical settings and this might be a helpful way of hypothesis sharing with pre-school- the two facts alone that it's been going on for a year and that she behaves differently in one environment compared to another both suggest that it's not an infection.

CandyLeBonBon · 03/05/2021 08:12

The can insist as much as they like. Doesn't mean you have to do it. They're overreaching their remit.

insancerre · 03/05/2021 08:13

Why don’t you move the potty downstairs?
Not forever but until she starts making some progress

Teeshirt · 03/05/2021 08:18

Why do you keep the potty upstairs? It needs to be downstairs where you are.

CandyLeBonBon · 03/05/2021 08:19

The potty moved from room to room with us when I first started training. Much easier than dashing upstairs, when little bladders can't hold on. You're setting her up to fail there op.

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 08:21

@mummabubs I don't want to go back to nappies because then she might completely regress and start pooping in them although I don't think she would.
I got training pants which are similar to nappies and I think that will take away some of the stress for all of us. As I mentionned she does say and go when she needs to but usually leaks before she can make it to the potty.
Everyone says that she is not potty trained but she is not clueless about it and she is trying so I don't want to give up and just go back to nappies. I beliveve that her bladder is not fully mature hence the leaks but also that she is not bothered about being wet.
I don't think it's an infection either but it doesn't hurt to check and pre school will stop asking.

OP posts:

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 08:22

She has a insert potty on the toilet but we do have a portable one and I will take it out and put it downstairs thanks

OP posts:

TuesdayRuby · 03/05/2021 08:23

I also started training my daughter at 2. She has only just, in the past month, started been totally dry (day and night but they both coincided with each other really) at 3yrs 7 months.
Some kids just aren’t ready at 2.
I persevered - tried absolutely everything and she had some periods of being dry but it would often be a case of two steps forward and one back.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 03/05/2021 08:26

She’s not potty trained. Just because your son was early doesn’t mean it was right for your daughter.

I’d go right back to basics and start again. Part of being actually potty trained is telling you when they need to go in enough time to actually get to the toilet/potty - or indeed just taking themselves there.

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 08:26

This feels a bit like when some people talk about issues with their husbands and posters all go 'leave him'..
I just don't want to give up on her potty training after a year, to me the issue is that she can't hold it long enough not to have any leaks, she is aware and is trying and some days she does really well and others not as well. But I want to find a solution that works not give up on her...

OP posts:

TuesdayRuby · 03/05/2021 08:29

Also some things that worked for me OP:
Having a potty on hand at all times - we had 3 at one point in different rooms of the house
Frequent prompting and putting on the potty or toilet (every 30min if need be)
Stickers for rewards
Being able to choose some new fancy knickers that she didn’t want to get wet
Socialising with her friends that were potty trained (my friend used to send me videos of her same age DD using the potty which my DD would watch with interest!)
Also check out Pirate Pete potty training video

eurochick · 03/05/2021 08:31

"Best potty training advice I ever read? Do it when they're actually ready. That way it will be quick. So you can start a year earlier than when they're ready, and it'll take a year. Start that week, it'll take a few days."

I agree with this 100%. We were guided by our very experienced nanny. She tried a couple of times when she was 2 and decided she just wasn't ready. We tried again at just turned three and she got it straight away. Until they are ready you don't have a potty trained child, you just have a child that doesn't wear nappies with all of the associated unpleasantness for you, the pre-school workers and her.

LivingMyBestLife2020 · 03/05/2021 08:38

@ML1706

This feels a bit like when some people talk about issues with their husbands and posters all go 'leave him'.. I just don't want to give up on her potty training after a year, to me the issue is that she can't hold it long enough not to have any leaks, she is aware and is trying and some days she does really well and others not as well. But I want to find a solution that works not give up on her...

Then like others have said, you need to have potty in the room with her so she can see it and go when required. It seems common sense to me. It’s will also be a visual reminder to her. How old is she OP?

Good luck OP.

boomboom1234 · 03/05/2021 08:38

I would try to do a reward thing personally. A sticker on a chart everytime she makes it to the toilet. Maybe a treat if she does igors two days no accident eg small toy she wants, lollipop etc I think it sounds like she needs some motivation to get out of this bad habit.

insancerre · 03/05/2021 08:41

She really needs to be able to take herself off and sit on the potty by herself
I expect she is not doing this at preschool because she doesn’t do it at home
At preschool I expect the children to be able to go to the toilet on their own. Some children don’t have the relationship with other adults to be able to tell them they need to go, so they just wet themselves
I would really try and give her some independence here by moving the potty to within her reach and just let her get on with it. She shouldn’t need to involve an adult, remember that in preschool there isn’t an adult on hand all the time. The adults are probably all occupied and it can be hard for some children to voice their needs. At home it’s easier for you to be in control of her toileting, but you have a different relationship with her than the preschool staff.

Soontobe60 · 03/05/2021 08:45

You haven’t mentioned how much she’s drinking?
Take her to the toilet on the hour every hour rather than wait for her to get the urge to go. Don’t ask her, just take her. She’s not trained yet and it seems like you’re relying on her to tell you when she wants to go. Start today, give her a week and see if she improves. Tell pre school that they need to do the same. Pre school cannot insist you take her to the GP.

polkadotpixie · 03/05/2021 08:45

She's not ready by the sounds of it. I'd personally put her back in nappies and try again in 3 months

I tried to potty train DS at 2.3 and he absolutely wasn't ready. Stopped and tried again at 2.7 and he nailed it in a couple of days and is usually dry overnight too

DSis insisted on potty training DN when he wasn't ready (aged 2.3) and had over a year of constant accidents. It's not worth the stress for either of you and totally normal not to be ready at 3

insancerre · 03/05/2021 08:50

This website has lots of good advice
www.eric.org.uk/pages/category/potty-training

Original poster

ML1706 · 03/05/2021 08:50

Thank you I will put a potty downstairs.
She will be 3 in a week.
She is able to take herself but very often we have to tell her to go as she is playing or watching tv and doesn't want to stop.
Once she was watching tv and I started talking to her and she had a very guilty look on her face. Then I realised she had peed all over herself and the couch and didn't say anything because shd didn't want to stop watching her movie.
This I feel is the main issue with her, she'd rather wet helself knowing she'll be changed than to stop doing what she's doing.
That's why I don't think the issue is physical but mental 🤔 I will try the rewards and potty downstairs to see if that helps 😊

OP posts:

Teeshirt · 03/05/2021 08:58

You need to prompt her hourly. Reward her just for sitting on the potty, and daily rewards for no accidents. Make sure she is not too engrossed in anything. She clearly has the understanding, so explain to her what you want her to do.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread