Quick question about Ferber method- need to know ASAP!

[bleachblondemom]

I’ve just got my baby to sleep using the Ferber method on the first try (hooray!). My question is... if he wakes up in say 20 mins, do I start again? Or assume that’s all the sleep he wanted? His sleep cycles can be anywhere from 30-45 mins. Do I need to go back in and use the method again to help him link to the next cycle? Does it depend on whether he seems content to wake up or is crying?

How old are they?

Nearly 5 months.

I literally just want to ask this question and see if anyone knows. I don’t want a discussion about whether anyone agrees or disagrees with the method.

I presumed the poster asked the age of your child to gauge the length of nap they would have

Sorry. That was unnecessary.

Wow when you’re so defensive over a very relevant question I think even you realise this method isn’t great.

Oh god my second comment wasn’t in response to the question!! That’s why I left a few lines of space... It was just an additional comment, cos I know what mumsnet is like and people love to be judgmental.

I don't know if there's a 'right' answer to this, but personally I wouldn't do it again for a nap - I'd assume he'd had the amount of sleep he needed at that time. Obvs different if he wakes in the night after 20 mins.

@Ostryga not at all! I wouldn’t use a method I didn’t approve of.

@Thatwentbadly that wasn’t a direct response to you, sorry I should have replied to your comment about his age and then added my next comment separately

Short naps are developmentally normal at this age. They usually lengthen themselves after 6.

But should I be trying to help him link his sleep cycles or should I wait until he’s able to fall asleep on his own before we progress to that? I’m used to him being in the pram for naps and the constant movement helping him sleep longer.

Work on putting himself to sleep first and get him sleeping through the night and then work on the naps. They don't usually lengthen until around 6 months, so I would wait until then to do the naps.

Ok that makes sense, one step at a time!

Controlled crying methods aren't recommended under 6 months so age is very relevant.
Are you using controlled crying or cry it out as both are different?

Controlled crying, I think that’s the same as the Ferber method

Feber or controlled crying has never been advocated for under 6 month olds and it’s rarely used in under 1 year old.

A 20 mins nap is fine at 5 months old.

Really because everything I’ve read says 4-6 months. He needs to learn to self soothe, at the moment I am up every 2 hours at night giving him his dummy (he’s not hungry before anyone suggests this).
This is exactly why I said I don’t want a discussion about people agreeing or disagreeing. I just wanted my question answering. I don’t mean to be rude but let’s not carry on this conversation further thank you.

I used the Ferber method for my son and it was a life saver. I read the book cover to cover before I started. Twice actually. Do you have the book? It would tell you what to do in this situation.

I can't remember now, but I do recall getting established at night first (I used Ferber to gently wean off of all-night feeding as well) and then use it for naps as per the instructions in the book.

@LaceyBetty ooh ok see I’ve gone the other way round. Doing naps first to wean him off needing to be rocked to sleep (me or the pram) and to teach him to use his hands to self soothe, in the hope that the soothing skill can then be used when he wakes in the night instead of a dummy. No I haven’t read a proper book on it, which one do you recommend?
Today is the first day trying and it’s actually going really well!

You are never going to teach a baby with a dummy to self soothe without it though. It's a non starter.

@rainbowthoughts I’m optimistic :)

@bleachblondemom

Really because everything I’ve read says 4-6 months. He needs to learn to self soothe, at the moment I am up every 2 hours at night giving him his dummy (he’s not hungry before anyone suggests this). This is exactly why I said I don’t want a discussion about people agreeing or disagreeing. I just wanted my question answering. I don’t mean to be rude but let’s not carry on this conversation further thank you.

Hugely defensive because you know what you're doing is cruel and so many will Massively disagree with you.

Leaving a 4 month old to self soothe is not the right thing to do. They are developing their brain and need to know you are there, not that crying brings them no reaction so no point in doing it.

You're a new parent. Waking up in the night to attend to a helpless baby is 100% expected.

How do you know he’s not hungry when he’s only 5 months old?

@Cinderellashoes

How do you know he’s not hungry when he’s only 5 months old?

She doesn't. It would probably be inconvenient to feed him

[quote bleachblondemom]@LaceyBetty ooh ok see I’ve gone the other way round. Doing naps first to wean him off needing to be rocked to sleep (me or the pram) and to teach him to use his hands to self soothe, in the hope that the soothing skill can then be used when he wakes in the night instead of a dummy. No I haven’t read a proper book on it, which one do you recommend?
Today is the first day trying and it’s actually going really well![/quote]
It's the book actually written by Dr Ferber. It's called Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I was hugely against any cry it out, but, after having read the book, properly and fully and not just skipping around, I changed my mind. It is written in a very gentle way and is a slow, step by step process. I was at breaking point and it changed everything. My son is 10 now and has zero sleep, anxiety or other issues.