Baby only goes to bed at night immediately after a massive bottle.. how to break the cycle?

[Fudgedtwister]

We would ideally go bottle, bath, massage or book then sleep. Our little one prefers to have either bottle at the end or want it interspersed between all of the activities above. Is there a way to break the cycle and get her not to rely on drinking herself to sleep? Baby is 3mo, I appreciate a fully formed routine is unlikely at this point but less reliance on milk would be great!

It was about 6 months for us or once teeth started popping through. We then did milk, teeth and stories

Books are vital for children but with the best will in the world, OP, you will look back on this in a few years and smile at how precious you were. Your baby is tiny. Really really tiny. She loves you and the sound of your voice but she doesn’t care about stories. And feeding to sleep is very, very natural. Personally if you want to give a bottle I’d do it during the day and just boob her to sleep. That is very natural and doesn’t make a rod for your own back; in fact it makes life easier as it is Nature’s way of getting babies to sleep. At that age they’re not designed to go to sleep by themselves and don’t know how to do it. It comes, later, but for now don’t worry and enjoy the snuggles. It goes SO fast

@Twizbe we aren’t talking about what’s ‘easiest’ though, we’re talking about feeding a baby to sleep before bed regardless of whether it’s breast or bottle. Either way baby is getting fed. I just don’t think it’s very helpful to tell OP not to give a bottle before bed. If OP wants to sub a breast feed with a bottle feed, any time of day or night is perfectly fine.

All these poster with their judgy comments about book reading...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a book as part of op's bedtime routine for baby. All three of mine were read to as part of bedtime routine from this age and all three of them managed to self settle to sleep straight after. They also all slept through from 10 weeks. None of them were hyper alert after a book and therefore unable to sleep....
You choose a calm bedtime story and read it in rhythmic, soothing voice. It lulls baby to relax and sleep.
Crack on op, take no notice of those saying you are being precious and will look back and smile at your (ridiculous) book reading. People are so bloody judgemental and rude.

Thank you.. I think people might have thought I was under the illusion that the baby processed the stories in detail... obviously not. As you say it's the soothing voice and rhythm that helps do the job.

@Fudgedtwister

Thank you.. I think people might have thought I was under the illusion that the baby processed the stories in detail... obviously not. As you say it's the soothing voice and rhythm that helps do the job.

It's always worth reading a book,the baby will love the sound of your voice.

I've read to my baby ever since she came home from hospital. Of course she doesn't understand the plot, but she seems to like looking at the colours and listening to me talk.

Don't know why people assumed you thought it was anything deeper, OP

I agree with others about feeding to sleep though; it's normal at that age.

Not sure 3m old babies need a book at bedtime tbh.

Our DS is getting on for 10m now and still has a bottle before he goes to bed. It’s totally normal and what babies need to help them to sleep, and to stay asleep! At 3m your little one is growing like mad and is completely driven by food so please don’t try to feed less or not feed when she needs it. In my experience they don’t really get into any sort of a routine until at least 6m so just relax and give her what she wants, when she wants it, and enjoy the snuggles.

Sorry missing the point of this thread completely but @nitsandwormsdodger do you seriously not read books to your kids before age 3/4? There’s a bunch of evidence to suggest that reading to them from as young as possible is helpful in a multitude of ways. 3 months is not ridiculous at all. 3 years is much more ridiculous!

I think the 'right ' way round is How she is doing it .. bath, milk , bed .. you don't want her to have a bath full of milk !! They have milk just before sleep to help them go longer at night !

I mean this kindly, your baby doesn't care what you want. I've got two - one had a routine, one doesn't. Guess which one sleeps better? Follow her lead, they are surprisingly good at knowing what they want (it's milk, they always want milk)

Milk before bed is perfectly normal for a long while yet - my 3yo has a cup of milk every night with his stories. He had a lot of teeth early on so we probably swapped to teeth cleaning after bottle at about 8 months.

Maybe read the book whilst feeding the bottle. Then your baby may associate sleep time with story time. I always night fed with euan the dream sheep and as a toddler ds would play the music when he woke and then fall back to sleep.

I recommend ‘goodnight moon’, mine still ask for it now!

Milk as the last thing before sleep/falling asleep on the boot or bottle is completely completely normal especially for such a young baby. I'm totally bemused as to why you'd think it wasn't?

My older children still have warm milk at bedtime. It gradually moves earlier as they get older so they now have it while they get their pyjamas on and then toothbrush after. Your LO is miles away from this stage though.

Isn't that wha tall baby's do?

Milk and bed was always last for my two until at least 9/10 Months Even then it was story time and milk then bed.

All baby's not tall baby's

Please stop trying to have a textbook baby. Every baby, and every baby's routine and needs is different. Let them be.

My youngest was fed to sleep until 2 and then just gradually stopped himself by refusing the milk. He had no problems then sleeping without it. I'd just follow your baby's lead and keep feeding to sleep until it naturally stops. Why put yourself through the stress of changing nighttime routines if you don't have to!

My 22 month old still has milk to sleep. She has bath and teeth, story, bottle, then bed. I did the same with my elder 2 who are now 13 and 12. They have no issues with their teeth x

@whenwillthemadnessend

All baby's not tall baby's

Or even 'babies'?

I think it's too early to do anything other that follow your baby's lead at the moment.

I think my eldest was around 15-18 months when we started to change to milk before bath. We snuggled on the sofa while he had his milk, then had bathtime then story, then left him to it. He would never fall asleep by being read a story as he enjoys them too much. He needs the dark and quiet.

@Fudgedtwister

Thank you.. I think people might have thought I was under the illusion that the baby processed the stories in detail... obviously not. As you say it's the soothing voice and rhythm that helps do the job.

Except it’s not doing the job at bedtime because your baby wants milk.

I don’t really get why people are acting like reading to your baby is so weird - I’ve done it since mine was born (even before now that is maybe a little bit precious ), it’s recommended and my HV actually gave us a free little book from the bookstart people on her first visit.

But I still don’t get why you don’t want your baby to have a bottle before bed - you’ve not actually said what you think the issue with it is?

Mine loves sharing a book but however many times I’ve tried to get a bedtime story routine established she’s just not interested. I tried for bath, pjs and sleeping bag, book and then bottle/ sleep but from the second she’s out of the bath she just wants her milk and to go to sleep. As an Early Years teacher I know quite a few children’s books by heart so I’ll sometimes just recite one whilst she has her bottle, sometimes I’ll sing and sometimes I’ll just speak soothing nonsense but to be honest she couldn’t care less if I do any of those or none, she literally just wants to down the milk and fall asleep.

At 9 months she has 2 teeth - we tend to do them whilst she has her bath and then do bottle after. I feel vaguely guilty about it but not enough to mess up the only way I know to guarantee her going to sleep without a fuss (I know from experience that if she fixes off with a bottle or just after then something wakes her up just after it generally means we’re in for a couple of hours of sleep refusal and more wake ups through the night).

I’m also really glad she has a big bottle then as since weaning it’s the only one she reliably drinks all of and getting enough milk into her has been a challenge.

I really am interested as to why you think your baby shouldn’t have the bottle before sleep?

Don’t see anything wrong with a book before bedtime at any age but still not clear why a baby relying on a bottle to sleep at 3 months is an issue.

OP, we fed our daughter to sleep for several months (boob and increasingly as she got older, bottle) and when she was older (about a year old), we stopped and replaced with a book without issue. If milk before bed is working at this young age, there’s no need to force a change so early - you’re not creating a ‘bad habit’ at three months.

Not intended to be judgey, just helpful!