I don't want to play

[Dreamweaver9009]

I love my toddler. She is what i have dreamed of my whole life. Problem is i dont want to play. I have a bad back and a busted tail bone sitting her her floor hurts. Not to mention even as a kid i had a few baby dolls but more or less played with an imaginary friend outside or read books. She has 27 barbies and 4 doll houses. I hate barbies i never had them as a kisd. She has an imagination but refuses to use unless i play. I have set timers for 20 min of play but she guilts me into more. I spend a out 2 hrs on her floor a day playing then outside with bubbles and walking a mile with her. I am usually so sore i can hardly move once i hit the bed. Then deal with her dad.... Am i the only parent who hates to play with their kids?????

Nope, I often just refused to do it. I told them I was a grown up, and had done lots of playing as a child, so didn't always want to do it when they wanted me to.

Eventually they got the message, they might ask, but didn't pester when I said no.

I loved playing with mine at every opportunity available.
However, I didn't have your complaint.
Can you play at the table, on the sofa.
It's great to get down to their level, but if it causes you pain bring your toddler up to your level, or much closer.

@Hadalifeonce

Nope, I often just refused to do it. I told them I was a grown up, and had done lots of playing as a child, so didn't always want to do it when they wanted me to.

Eventually they got the message, they might ask, but didn't pester when I said no.

You refused to play with your children?

I love it to be honest.
Setting a timer for a set amount of play time with your own child sounds ridiculous to me to be honest.
She is obviously wanting your attention and wants you to play with her if she’s refusing to play unless you are?

I can only play in short bursts, unless it’s something like crafts, which I enjoy.

I spend everyday of every hour with her. I just never like dolls. I try to let her lead when we play. We just moved to new place so we have a futon couch and no table. I love outdoor activities or dancing around. She by no means is neglected. I mean she is just to active like she doesnt sit still for more then 10 min at a time and even after 1.5 hrs of playing with her and in so much pain i cant move. Them after 30 min of resting she comes in mommy come play again. My son wjo is 13 was more my speed outside fun amd pretty lowkey. She just started sleeping through night too and is fully potty trained. I work with her on learning things but its like leave me alone for 15 min. Even when her father does play with her after he works out showers and eats i still have to be involved 75 percent of the time

I agree with the previous post, sounds really odd
As boring as it can be sometimes that's my job. Just got to get on with it and realise she won't always want to play with you so try enjoy it while you're not at the point where you regret not playing with her as much.

What do you mean at the end of your OP “and then deal with her Dad”?

I hate playing. Will read, do crafts, baking all day long but detest imaginary games where I’m just told what I’m doing wrong. I do it sometimes because my dd wants me to but I do not enjoy it!

@Dreamweaver9009

I spend everyday of every hour with her. I just never like dolls. I try to let her lead when we play. We just moved to new place so we have a futon couch and no table. I love outdoor activities or dancing around. She by no means is neglected. I mean she is just to active like she doesnt sit still for more then 10 min at a time and even after 1.5 hrs of playing with her and in so much pain i cant move. Them after 30 min of resting she comes in mommy come play again. My son wjo is 13 was more my speed outside fun amd pretty lowkey. She just started sleeping through night too and is fully potty trained. I work with her on learning things but its like leave me alone for 15 min. Even when her father does play with her after he works out showers and eats i still have to be involved 75 percent of the time

Why do you spend every hour of every day with her? Are you a SAHM? If you don’t like to play with your child maybe being a SAHM isn’t the best choice and you could look at getting back to work, where you can be an adult and she can go to Nursery where she can play with peers and Nursery staff? (No judgement, just seems like it would make everyone happier!)

Op, I used to think of my partner as another thing on my to don't list. Another job.....another person demanding of me. When I was knackered already (when she was a toddler)

In terms of making things better for you a doughnut cushion can make things like sitting fir periods sooo much comfier. Might be worth a go?

I did find doll playing with my daughter boring not that she knew that and much preferred doing baking with her, arts and craft/ reading/going to the park. I used to start off with her and go in and out of the game when dolls were involved so would do it in burst of time. Can you do something similar 20 mins play and then go make a drink and then start again.

I am a sahm. I would love to get a job but we cant afford child care and bills at the same time. Plus only one car. We bake, bake we cook i read to her. I clean she cleans with me. I just after 1.5 hrs of dols and getting told to meow or play a baby or fix the doll house or dress this. I am so drained i want to have me time. I dont get it at all. Its her attention by day her fathers attention by night.

I think people are being a bit harsh. I don’t enjoy ‘play’ either. I take my children on outings, read with them, do crafts with them, take them for bike rides and scooter rides, bake with them... I don’t do imaginary play. They have their siblings for that, and friends. You don’t have to do everything.

Can you get yourself a bean bag or set up a table for play so you can have a chair?

If she’s with you everyday could you consider some type of formal childcare to give you and break and her the interaction she’s obviously craving?

Practically, there might be times when you don’t want to play or can’t, I get that. But actively trying to quash your child’s desire to play and seek meaningful social interaction because you don’t enjoy it seems pretty counter intuitive.

my top tip, play first thing, give them 30 minutes full on play.

The quietly move out of the game, let them continue on their own.

But it necessary, she can understand that you have a bad back.
Mummy can't sit on the floor. But I can.... (dance, lie down, go for a walk)

@Dreamweaver9009

I am a sahm. I would love to get a job but we cant afford child care and bills at the same time. Plus only one car. We bake, bake we cook i read to her. I clean she cleans with me. I just after 1.5 hrs of dols and getting told to meow or play a baby or fix the doll house or dress this. I am so drained i want to have me time. I dont get it at all. Its her attention by day her fathers attention by night.

We have cross posted, you need to find something she enjoys and can do independently. Colouring, painting, a sand pit.?

I love doing crafts, board games, reading etc.

I hate, hate, hate imaginary play. And sitting on the floor hurts my bum and my legs ache/go numb. I’m useless at imaginary play, I don’t have much imagination for those sorts of games! The best I can manage is sitting on the sofa and ordering food from their play cafe.

One of the things I love the most is sitting listening to DD’s imaginary play, it’s wonderful to listen to and watch, just not to participate in!

27 barbies? Why?

I don’t always enjoy it, my son just loves cars and I don’t even drive/hate cars but this is what we signed up for I guess. I’ll play in bursts (as work from home as well) and let him know if I’m having a break from play. They also need to learn to play alone happily.

P.S. maybe have a clear out, she’s a bit spoiled for choice (I think I had about 5 Barbie’s my whole childhood! 😂) -it doesn’t help when they’ve got too many options - they don’t focus for as long.

You need proper breaks. You sound desperate, "it's her attention by day and her father's by night", it sounds like everyone is taking what they need from you and nobody is giving anything back.

Could you afford one day a week in childcare, to give you a day off?

You also need to talk to your partner about how you are feeling; he needs to take some of the load when he's there. He could take her out for a couple of hours so you could have a break?

OP, I have had a bad back since my twins were babies and it makes it so difficult - I can’t get down on the floor either. Mine are autistic so don’t play much but when they do I use a coffee table they can stand at while I sit.

Check out freecycle / fb marketplace if you can’t afford a new one. It helps a lot! Also ask if anyone you know is clearing out toys you might have more fun with too - whether it’s puzzles, duplo, lego etc.

Yes HollowTalk, sometimes I did.

Can I recommend sitting on a bean bag? I've undergone lots of lower back treatment, had an awful time and sitting on this has been really helpful!