I don't want to play

[Dreamweaver9009]

I love my toddler. She is what i have dreamed of my whole life. Problem is i dont want to play. I have a bad back and a busted tail bone sitting her her floor hurts. Not to mention even as a kid i had a few baby dolls but more or less played with an imaginary friend outside or read books. She has 27 barbies and 4 doll houses. I hate barbies i never had them as a kisd. She has an imagination but refuses to use unless i play. I have set timers for 20 min of play but she guilts me into more. I spend a out 2 hrs on her floor a day playing then outside with bubbles and walking a mile with her. I am usually so sore i can hardly move once i hit the bed. Then deal with her dad.... Am i the only parent who hates to play with their kids?????

@Dreamweaver9009

We play hide and seek and make playdough. We do it all i just feel guilty to want to be left alone. I used to be a le to read a 500 pafe book in a half a day now i alucky to see page 50 by bedtime. As for firm i tell her no i just hate doing it. My childhood was ruff therefore i refuse to ever yell or spank my kids. I raise my voice but she is a very Lively kid. I mean pretty much balls to the wall 12 to 14 hrs straight. Gotta say though kid loves her veggies lol. I was just ao independent raised by grandparents from age 5 to 10 that i learned tonplay in my own. Rode a bike spent hours at a pool in the summer and read. She is so opposite me that its harder to relaate. I try i really do but sometimes the imaginary play gets to me and i am like use ur imagination and make a pretend friend

I’m not sure expecting to read a 500 page book in half a day is really feasible as a SAHM of a 3 year old?! Even 50 pages sounds pretty ambitious!

I do it all before i had her i worked at a daycare and learned the routines. It was all good and fine until 2 months ago when she stopped taking naps. I had 2 hours to myself to relax and breath and now its gone flying out the window.
He tries to take her places but their personalities are so similar he cant take her to a store bc she will throw a fit to get something and she likes to take her baby and its stroller in the stires amd he doeant have patients for that he like sto go in and get out. Not to mention she is a hige mama girl. Her brother was the same way. Less active then her but was aways at my side like glue. Its all cute til they want to hold ur hand while u try to poo. The. Its like come on.

Your child will be hugely traumatised by the fact she is forced to live in a house with your rapist, druggie scum boyfriend. You must prioritise her over your choice to ‘love’ your scum boyfriend, this is absolutely appalling. The kids choice of plastic tat to play with is 100% irrelevant, play, don’t play, whatever, but it’s child abuse to keep her around that man.

@Carbara

Your child will be hugely traumatised by the fact she is forced to live in a house with your rapist, druggie scum boyfriend. You must prioritise her over your choice to ‘love’ your scum boyfriend, this is absolutely appalling. The kids choice of plastic tat to play with is 100% irrelevant, play, don’t play, whatever, but it’s child abuse to keep her around that man.

Have I missed something?

OP don’t they all follow you for a poo at this age?

My two year old has just stopped napping and I feel your pain. If he naps were fine, if not I’m seriously flagging.

Even if you are only working to break even in terms of childcare, you should. She deserves the play and it sounds like the situation isn't working for you.

If you work part time you may feel rejuvenated to play again on the days you have her - I find this.

Nope it the states this was just what popped up when asking about mom threads lol. Nope here its not free. If you make over a certain amount you cant qualify for help either. So its hard. They have a lower fee if the child is there part time. However thats cut at being there 5 hrs. So i i work 4 hours and it take me 30 min to drop her and get to work and then to pick her up i wiuld be over the part time and be paying fullti.e price.

@Happygogoat

Even if you are only working to break even in terms of childcare, you should. She deserves the play and it sounds like the situation isn't working for you.

If you work part time you may feel rejuvenated to play again on the days you have her - I find this.

I work 3 days and I love the balance, my DS loves nursery. He literally dances on the spot when we queue to go in. I’m lucky that it pays to work but I’d definitely still consider it even if it didn’t. There’s more benefits than pure financials.

@Dreamweaver9009

I do it all before i had her i worked at a daycare and learned the routines. It was all good and fine until 2 months ago when she stopped taking naps. I had 2 hours to myself to relax and breath and now its gone flying out the window. He tries to take her places but their personalities are so similar he cant take her to a store bc she will throw a fit to get something and she likes to take her baby and its stroller in the stires amd he doeant have patients for that he like sto go in and get out. Not to mention she is a hige mama girl. Her brother was the same way. Less active then her but was aways at my side like glue. Its all cute til they want to hold ur hand while u try to poo. The. Its like come on.

You worked at a day care? Did you play with the kids there?

How old will she be when she starts school there in the States?

I dont like playing either, I will do messy crafty stuff, I’ll read, bake etc but I don’t play with them (bar the odd game of hide and seek) it’s good for them to learn to entertain themselves, 2 hours a day is loads!

Yes but it was more education related and they played with each other we merely just watched and intervened when necessary. It was 7 toddlers per classroom.

As for the other post i wouldnt say rappist. I was rapped as a kid. My husband has a severly high libido with a drug issue while mine is low and barely there. I would be great with 2 nights a week and nothing else

Nope, playing is literally the worst! DS was always really happy to play alone. I would just entertain him outside on walks and stuff and he would later play alone with his cars etc.
DD is different. At the moment she always wants to play with her polly pockets or doll house. I get a few characters and she has a few and she expects some role playing. But then She constantly complains because apparently I’m doing it all wrong

I just refuse now, then she asks her brother and he usually plays along for a while
Then when he's had enough i suggest a board game or something to distract her!

She would be in day care til she is 6. Bc of her birthday being in January she wouldnt start kindergarten u til she was 6

dino yeah you have. OP has another thread about her rapist, druggy boyfriend, she ‘loves’ him and is with him ‘for the kids’ who will be damaged for life because of this. Appalling. OP needs to get to a women’s shelter, or literally anywhere else than around that man.

OP, your other thread describes your boyfriend being a rapist, coerced sex, sex to shut him up, etc is rape. He’s a piece of shit, and you’ve sadly become used to it.

Bc i am his wife and its a need if indont donit who will. I am not denying the drug issue and yes at time i feel he manipulates me into sex. But i have been rapped its nothing like that. Yes i stay for my kids bc as instated it the other thread when he is clean he spends time with her plays in her room with the dolls and is good with the pretend play then i am. Its when he is not there mentally its different.

Find games that you can do at a table sitting in more comfort. Colouring, crafts, cutting out, potato prints, threading beads ,macaroni, cotton reels. In just a year or two she will love sharing table games like snap, snakes and ladders, jigsaws.

I dont think you're being unreasonable OP. It seems a thing now that kids must be played with 247 and dont know how to entertaine themselves. We always played alone as kids. Very rarely parents played with us. We had toys, crafts, books etc. To entertain us

@Dreamweaver9009

Bc i am his wife and its a need if indont donit who will. I am not denying the drug issue and yes at time i feel he manipulates me into sex. But i have been rapped its nothing like that. Yes i stay for my kids bc as instated it the other thread when he is clean he spends time with her plays in her room with the dolls and is good with the pretend play then i am. Its when he is not there mentally its different.

Your poor child, are you not worried ss will take her into care, you aren't protecting her or putting her needs first, shamefull She deserves better than both of you tbh.

I’ve just read the other thread, I think your energy levels wold improve if you addressed the bigger issues in your life. Your life with your partner sounds draining and exhausting. Toddlers are, by their nature, draining and exhausting. I think you need to look holistically at your life and not your toddler.

Ok this thread has taken a bit of a turn away from merely playing with a toddler

@Dreamweaver9009

Bc i am his wife and its a need if indont donit who will. I am not denying the drug issue and yes at time i feel he manipulates me into sex. But i have been rapped its nothing like that. Yes i stay for my kids bc as instated it the other thread when he is clean he spends time with her plays in her room with the dolls and is good with the pretend play then i am. Its when he is not there mentally its different.

OP, this is really worrying. No wonder you are struggling to find the mental space to just have fun with your child.

I have been raped too, in relationships and out of them. If he’s manipulating you then you’re not consenting, and I’m sorry that’s happening to you. I hope you can find a way out of this, that’s before getting into the drug issue. You must be a wreck.

I don't hate playing but am just shit at it. Obvs I play within reason with my 5 year old, ie Doctor patient, helping her with lego building, etc, and we read loads and do crafts. But I see playing as her thing, to develop her imagination so I don't play w her barbies or dolls etc. I think its important for kids to play on their own without constant adult input, my mum never played with me as no time with 3 kids in 4 years and I played independently with toys like playmobil until I was in my early teens. Bit sad but I loved it!
Just keep explaining that playing is her thing and encourage her gently to be independent. It'll take ages, but she will learn to play independently and she won't resent you! It's good for her to learn she and you both have your own space.