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Parenting

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Original poster

Daughter followed by son - reassurance needed please

66 replies

Heepers · 07/04/2021 20:10

We're expecting our second baby soon and I just assumed it would be a girl (but he's definitely a boy!) I am from a large family of all girls and my first baby was a girl - it's all I know and I'm worried they won't have a close bond or as much laughter and love as I have with my sisters.

Please could any of you share your experiences of girl then boy? The age gap will be 21 months or so.

Please no grief about being disappointed- I'm not proud of it, it's just thrown me a bit.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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bluebluezoo · 07/04/2021 22:52

However when he’s in the early years of primary school you may find yourself learning a lot about superheroes 🤯🤣

I found myself knowing more about cars than I ever wanted or needed to.

I have a girl

saffysue · 07/04/2021 22:55

My brother is 2 years older than me. We get on very well and went on holiday together last year, just the two of us, in our thirties.

I barely speak to my sister...

Chocolatecakes · 07/04/2021 22:57

I was the same, large family of girls and my first was a girl, my second was a boy. They adore each other and are so close and I couldn’t imagine having 2 girls now

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RUOKHon · 07/04/2021 22:58

I have this combination. I am also an older sister to a brother two years younger than me, so I know how well the dynamic can work. My brother and I have always been close and as adults today we are still very close. He’s one of my best mates.

When my son was born, he was the first boy after a run of a lot of girl births in my family and we were all a bit unsure what to do with him! But he has just completed our family. Like he was the final part of the puzzle that we didn’t know we needed. He’s a ‘typical’ boy, but he has a very sensitive side and I’m sure this has to do with having sisters. His sisters are very strong personalities so he is growing up with some strong female role models! Also, with him being the youngest, he is adored and probably a bit babied because he’s very cute and we all love him so much.

It will be fine.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 07/04/2021 23:04

I've said this a few times on here before. I'm the only child of a single mum, and I was completely thrown when I found out my second child was going to be a boy. I remember turning to my husband after the scan and saying "but I can't have a boy, I don't know what to do with them."

I was uncertain and nervous for the rest of my pregnancy. I didn't want a son, I wanted a sister for my daughter!

And then, he was born, and they put him in my arms, and he filled a space in my heart I didn't even know was there. I looked at him, and recognised him instantly. It was this feeling of "oh! It's you! I've been waiting for you and I didn't even know it."

He's nearly 7 now and he's still a fabulous, kind, funny, loving little boy. And also, btw, a really good buddy to his sister.

Ilovewillow · 07/04/2021 23:07

I have a 12 yr old daughter and a 7 yr old son. They are completely different, always have been. My daughter is an avid Rock climber, gymnast, musician and rugby player. My son is horse mad, loves judo and is the much quieter and more wary of the two. They don't have a lot in common which also has a lot to do with the age gap. They do, however, love each other and enjoy spending time together more so when they were younger. We have found activities they can do together - they both love being outdoors, they will play board games with each other and she does tolerate the odd game of minecraft. My daughter loves him with a passion and will help him with homework and protect him, always I suspect. In turn he adores her. We always assumed we would end up with two girls but they have both been a revelation and it's about their personalities rather than gender.

VashtaNerada · 07/04/2021 23:19

I have a girl then a boy and they’re really close. Their sex hasn’t really determined their personalities at all, and it’s my DS who likes pink and glitter rather than my DD! Wouldn’t change him for the world.

littlemisslozza · 07/04/2021 23:51

I have a younger brother, by 21 months. We had a great time growing up, used to go out on our bikes together, played with friends together, rarely argued. Still close as adults, live ten minutes apart and see each other most weeks as well as messaging a few times a week.
I have three DS and they are brilliant, love having fun with their uncle too.

Spergymehbehls · 07/04/2021 23:54

I just can't imagine what having a boy will be like

It's like having a baby and then it's like having a child. There is literally no difference.

Spergymehbehls · 07/04/2021 23:56

However when he’s in the early years of primary school you may find yourself learning a lot about superheroes

My son is 7 and his knowledge of superheros is nil

A lot of stereotypes on this thread.

Spergymehbehls · 07/04/2021 23:59

Just as an aside it is just the WORST idea to have another baby because you want a companion for the first one. Yes it would be lovely if they were close but you don't have control over that- they're individuals and some siblings just don't get on and never will.

Sibling relationships are incredibly complex. I think probably one of the most complex relationships you can have.

It is why I haven't had another. The ONLY reason I'd want another baby is for my son to have a sibling and it isn't a good enough reason.

tinylittleyou · 08/04/2021 00:02

It’s personality. I know 2 sisters close in age who never got on and barely have anything to do with each other as adults. I know other sets of sisters who are the opposite. It completely depends on the individual children, nothing is a given because of their sex.

Ploughingthrough · 08/04/2021 00:09

My girl and boy are 2 years apart and are total besties. Who knows in the future but as kids they are really good pals.

BackforGood · 08/04/2021 00:13

and I'm worried they won't have a close bond or as much laughter and love as I have with my sisters.

Why ? What are you basing that on ?

Some siblings are very close. Some siblings hate each other. Most siblings' relationships will be somewhere in between. It matters not one iota what sex they are.

Rosiebelle17 · 08/04/2021 00:15

Congratulations
Great fun to be had in the future
My little boy loves minding his sister , picks up her coat and shoes 😂 asks for a double snack when he’s getting his own
Magical 🧙‍♀️

Original poster

Heepers · 08/04/2021 08:34

I've read everyone's messages and I'm very grateful to everyone for taking the time to reply - especially those who have been particularly compassionate and positive. It's good to know I'm not the only person whose felt like this - now I better dig out all my nephews' hand me downs.

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