Did anyone find the newborn stage ok/ good?

[Bml11]

This is just a curious thread. I have a 2.5 year old boy, there is someone with in the family unit that is going to give birth mid summer. Whilst talking to her the other day, she was saying how she can’t wait for time off work and is just going to be sat in the garden all summer. In my head I was laughing thinking ‘you’re about to have the hardest job of your life and as for sat on the garden all summer, more like days of being unable to eat/ wash etc.’ But then i realised I was judging this based on my experience- I was blessed with a very colicy baby (was actually CMPA bit did work this out till he was eating solids) and PND - along with a partner that worked away pretty much from me giving birth so I struggled massively. So I’m just curious, did anyone find the newborn stage easy? I understand a lot will be down to the support you get. Just curious to see if anyone actually found it a breeze?

@HamFisted

Second one was an absolute doddle, to be fair. Couldn't enjoy it though, because the first was wandering around wreaking havoc.

Same ^

Yes, my baby is now 8 months and I’ve loved it all. The early bit was fine, lovely cuddles watching lots of tv! I was pleasantly surprised but how much I enjoyed having a baby and actually felt resentful that I had often been told how hard it was and lots of negative things about it. If I’d known how much I’d enjoy it I would have done it years ago.

First one was alright second a nightmare and third an absolute dream

I have four children and the newborn stage was the easiest bit by far. None of them had colic, all great sleepers, all breastfed on demand. I'm yet to have a sleepless night.

Bloody hated baby and newborn stage. Boring and exhausting with nothing in return as baby is essentially a red blob for the first month or so! You're also hormonal and sore and recovering from pregnancy. Really dreading it this time around as #2 due in 9 weeks!

I hated it.

I was sore for weeks from a bad tear at birth and stitches. Trying to breastfeed was a nightmare but I didn’t want to use formula. I was on my own 9 hours a day 5 days a week with a baby that wouldn’t sleep or wouldn’t be put down. Just feeding myself and showering was a real struggle. I just sat home and cried every day.

Second time it wasn’t as bad as I had made a network of friends at baby groups so I was getting out more and my second baby slept and fed loads better. Plus I didn’t have the shock at how horrendous it was as I was expecting the worst.

I guess it’s luck isn’t it and personal circumstance. Difficult baby and being alone not a great combination!

My first was a dream. She slept all night from weeks old. Never cried unless hungry or tired. Very easy to entertain. She’s still pretty easy now a decade later. Kind, usually easy going with just a pinch of attitude.

It wasn't difficult but I was a bit fragile after a fairly traumatic birth. DS was happy with either milk, nappy change or sleep, between DH and I we managed showers, cooking etc easily. I even did baking. We didnt get much sleep but it seemed very easy compared to what I'd read on Mumsnet about what to expect.

I loved it both times! I didn't have good support the first time either but did the second time. It didn't change the fundamental experience which is how life kind of stops because you can only move forward an hour or two at a time. I love that. I love the way life becomes consumed by this tiny person and they are so fascinating and new.

I'm not a person who struggles on lack of sleep so perhaps that's why? And have been lucky not to encounter reflux or allergies as well which must make everything v stressful.

Neither of mine slept through the night as a baby, but I still found the newborn days easy. However I think the main contributor to this was that I have very efficient breasts 🤣 both of mine could have a full feed in about 10 minutes, whereas I had friends who were feeding their babies for 45+ minutes at a time so by the time you had fed them, put them down for a nap and made a cup of tea you had to start feeding them again!

Neither of my babies were at all sicky and we used reusable nappies so very very rarely had a poo-explosion which required a full change of clothes. The trope of "newborns cover everything with sick and poo 24/7" did not apply to us, for which I am eternally grateful!

I was blissfully happy with newborns. It was the loveliest time of my life. Nothing will top it. I just felt so fulfilled, despite lack of sleep etc. I could never relate to the mums who said they couldn't wait for it to be over.

Absolutely loved having a newborn, due again in October and don’t think I’ll enjoy it as much with a 2 year old! With my first she basically just slept on me in the wrap all day or I would just lie on the sofa with her on me and then she’d breastfeed (quite a lot tbf) and I’d just lounge around whilst she did.
This time I’ll have a big, angry toddler to contend with!

Loved the newborn stage. DD was always so calm and content - no idea how or why but we just went with it! It helped that she slept really well, again no idea how or why, just luck we think. I found 1-18months quite challenging. The wanting to move and communicate but can't was quite frustrating for her but it passed. She's now over 2 and a delight again 99% of the time. I don't think we'll have anymore for lots of reasons but I do wonder if we'd be so lucky a second time!

I think it also massively depends what type of birth you had. I’ve yet to meet anyone who had a traumatic birth who felt they had an easy newborn, probably because recovering yourself whilst trying to look after a baby is impossible
This is also the case. Anecdotally from friends, there also seems to be a correlation between traumatic birth and likelihood of developing colic, reflux etc. I don't know why that would be but I guess the birth can be traumatic on the baby too.

I have an 8 month old.
She was an ‘easy baby’ in some respects - no colic or reflux. But absolute Velcro baby and still is, couldn’t put her down in bouncer or Moses basket etc till she was about 4 months. Would only sleep on us so we had to do shifts. I had a difficult birth and EMCS, sepsis, spent the first week in hospital and never produced any milk whatever we tried (and we tried a lot!). I was beside myself at not being able to breastfeed and could do nothing but cry. My area had just gone back into local lockdown so we couldn’t see anyone, it was before support bubbles were a thing. I had terrible anxiety and intrusive thoughts and was absolutely fixated on SIDS. It was so hot and the gro egg was forever glowing red at me and I’d just lie there convinced she was going to overheat and counting the hours down to get through the night. We found cosleeping gave us some relief but obviously I was paranoid about that and read all the research about how it wasn’t safe if you weren’t breastfeeding, how formula feeding made her more at risk of everything generally, and just felt so horribly horribly sad and guilty and like a failure at how badly I’d let her down all the time.

She’s pretty easy as babies go and did start sleeping through about 12 weeks - it didn’t last but we had a good stretch. At 8 months the sleep is crap again and she hates being put down again and wants to be in as much physical contact with me for as much of the time as possible, but that aside she’s pretty delightful and I do think we have it easier than many.

I bizarrely really miss the newborn stage and feel sad we won’t do it again (I’m old so another is very very unlikely) but I don’t really know why because in a lot of ways it was hell. I did like the times she’d just sleep on me whilst I watched Netflix and ate biscuits though.

To be fair, whilst it is tiring because there’s no unbroken sleep: I did just lounge about in the garden/house and go for walks in the forest. It was nice until about 4m when DCs CMPA came to light. It’ll be different this time round with 2.

First was, well, no other words to describe it except to say a complete fucking horrific nightmare. I was suicidal, desperate and the darkest darkest days I have ever had to get through. I don’t know how I survived if I’m honest.

It took another 10 years for my 2nd to get here.
Night and day.
An absolute joy. Loved every minute because I now know, my 2nd was what normal new parents experience.

Both of mine were easy newborns. And I spent a decent amount of time sunbathing during my first maternity leave (second was a winter baby) .

The toddler stage is where I struggled as mine had the most horrendous terrible twos!

Yes, mine was 'easy', a great sleeper - 7pm - 7am with one very quick night feed, went back to sleep immediately - self settled; happy to be left alone (safely - in a baby chair/playpen !). No colic, reflux etc. He did have a medical issue that needed corrective surgery but this didn't effect his day to day life.

We didn't have any support as had just moved to a new area over 200 miles from my DPs & 100 miles from DH's family but I made a real effort to make friends and soon built up a local support network of friends and neighbours. DH was very supportive and involved, not like some of the dads you read about on here.

No issues until the teenage years ..... .

Newborn and baby stage were a hell of a lot easier for me than the current toddler stage.

He sleeps through the night now and the tantrums are counterbalanced by the adorable things he talks about, but I found the baby stage easier.

With my first, I wasn't really prepared for the shock of a complete life change and being responsible for something so... demanding and unpredictable... so I do remember it as a difficult time for at least a few months.

With the second, I knew what was coming and was braced for it.... and adding an extra child into an already changed life was not the same shock at all. Maybe because of that it all seemed to be a lot easier and happier. Though I was still always looking forward to the next stage - when the smiles and interaction properly start.

Mine was a breeze because I was relaxed and ignored all the nightmare stories from friends and relatives.

super hard. didnt like it. went back to work p/t after three months. needed a break. DC didnt sleep, cried all the time......felt really isolated as literally couldnt go out because of the baby crying nonstop. youngest now three........love it. Love toddlers, love any kid over the age of 2. havent hit the teenage years so it might be rubbish as people say.

The newborn stage can be easy enough but even with the 'easiest' baby in the world, I wouldn't be expecting to be sitting around enjoying the sun in the garden all day. DS slept all the time which wasn't too taxing except all that sleeping happened on me so nothing else was done. Cooking dinner and housework etc had to be completed in very quick bursts whilst he was awake or rarely sleeping in the Moses basket.

DD only reliably napped when out in a buggy and wouldn't be tricked by rocking the buggy back and forth at home. So whilst I lost the pregnancy weight very quickly, again not much sitting around in the sun. Same problem again with the cooking and cleaning - no time for either.

I think it's the other stuff that's the problem, not the baby care per se. The cooking and cleaning still need to be done but with an additional human to consider and a tiny, completely helpless one at that. If someone else could do all of that stuff then maybe a relaxing summer in the garden would be feasible, albeit perhaps with a sleeping baby in arms.

So jealous of all the babes sleeping through early on lol, mines been a nightmare. Would start waking up after 20 mins of being put down and would wake anywhere from 2 to 5 times just whilst I was downstairs (which would only be about 2 hours before i went to bed) - then the rest of the night would be just as bad. He’s still being BF but I stopped the night feeding 4 weeks ago and now he wakes and just goes back to sleep and doesn’t need me, it’s fucking bliss!! We still co sleep but I think he only wakes up about once a night now. It’s been a long road that’s for sure. Still absolutely knackered though.