Did anyone find the newborn stage ok/ good?

[Bml11]

This is just a curious thread. I have a 2.5 year old boy, there is someone with in the family unit that is going to give birth mid summer. Whilst talking to her the other day, she was saying how she can’t wait for time off work and is just going to be sat in the garden all summer. In my head I was laughing thinking ‘you’re about to have the hardest job of your life and as for sat on the garden all summer, more like days of being unable to eat/ wash etc.’ But then i realised I was judging this based on my experience- I was blessed with a very colicy baby (was actually CMPA bit did work this out till he was eating solids) and PND - along with a partner that worked away pretty much from me giving birth so I struggled massively. So I’m just curious, did anyone find the newborn stage easy? I understand a lot will be down to the support you get. Just curious to see if anyone actually found it a breeze?

The newborn stage is hard work and exhausting but there are enjoyable parts.

@FlyNow

Yes, I did. I wouldn't normally say that to anyone as it sounds smug or like I'm lying, but I found it really easy and lovely. I didn't have any support in terms of parents etc, but my DH did his share. Both my dc were pretty easy, slept well (one only woke once a night from birth , the other woke 2 times on average). I never rocked or sung either baby to sleep ever, they just, well, fell asleep. I didn't bf so I didn't have any problems with latching, cluster feeding, sore nipples, etc. I definitely don't recognise the "can't eat or wash for days" thing. It's not because I'm a good parent, I'm very average, just lucky I guess.

It’s not smug it’s the luck of the draw. I had severe anxiety which made things so much harder to the point the first early days were a waking nightmare until I got help. I for one am pleased for people like you that had a good experience, I think it’s lovely and don’t see how you sharing your lived experience could be considered smug.

@Bumpsadaisie - She was an ordinarly easy baby. Feeding went well - she was quite clingy but my DH and MIL were a real support as they both encouraged me to just do whatever I needed to do - co-sleep, sling and my DD was a very contented baby so long as you weren't trying to force her to lie down alone before she was ready! If I hadn't had that support I might have tried to force things with her and created misery all round.

Can't stress enough the importance of good support in the early days.

How lovey to have that support! I had it very different. Mum was telling me not to pick my son up because he needed to learn ‘tough love’ - being told to switch to formula, let him cry it out. (You can imagine how I was treated as a baby!) Even though I was a first time mum, all of it felt very unnatural to me so I stopped listening and did my own thing. Kept bf, started co sleeping (still am) and picked him up as much as I wanted to. The lack of support was a killer for me.

Yeah both mine were very easy newborn and I probably did a lot of sitting around. Until they were toddlers, oh god now I can't use the term easy to describe them. Some of my mates patronised me when I said things that suggested to them I thought it would be easy (I didn't have any preconceptions but just if I mentioned stuff like time off work or coffee shops/shopping) and went on about how silly that idea was as I would be busy like never before and no sleep etc so I was really (secretly) smug when I found it exactly how I expected. Don't ever tell them you think it's gonna be hard because I got so pissed off when people said that to me, they were projecting their own shit time with their kids onto me and it's unnecessary

[quote Bml11]@Bumpsadaisie - She was an ordinarly easy baby. Feeding went well - she was quite clingy but my DH and MIL were a real support as they both encouraged me to just do whatever I needed to do - co-sleep, sling and my DD was a very contented baby so long as you weren't trying to force her to lie down alone before she was ready! If I hadn't had that support I might have tried to force things with her and created misery all round.

Can't stress enough the importance of good support in the early days.

How lovey to have that support! I had it very different. Mum was telling me not to pick my son up because he needed to learn ‘tough love’ - being told to switch to formula, let him cry it out. (You can imagine how I was treated as a baby!) Even though I was a first time mum, all of it felt very unnatural to me so I stopped listening and did my own thing. Kept bf, started co sleeping (still am) and picked him up as much as I wanted to. The lack of support was a killer for me.[/quote]
It was lovely and I was very lucky. I think it was absolutely game changing for me as I think my own infancy was a little more like yours sounds to have been. I've always felt broadly speaking confident about my kids infancy as a result.

I liked / like it. My baby is very easy - slept through from about 8 weeks, fed easily after a bit of latching trouble at the start, is generally a very happy and chilled out character. I’ve also had amazing family support. I enjoy him more now that he’s 4 months and his personality is coming through more, but those first few weeks were lovely in their own way.

It wasn't easy. 2 of mine didn't sleep, 2 had a lot of health problems and 1 had reflux. Really enjoyed the newborn stage though. Love how they try and latch on to your arm, the little noises they make and the surprised looks on their faces when they sneeze. Love the way everyone comes up to you and admires the baby when you are out with the pram, their tiny little clothes and those first gummy smiles.

I have teenagers now who are embarrassed by my very existence though so I may be looking at the newborn stage with rose tinted glasses

I found the newborn phase nowhere near as bad as I was informed it would be. I largely found it dull, punctuated with periods of anxiety where I was worried about development. DD was quite a clingy baby during the day. I couldn't put her down for naps in the daytime until she was 10 months old. I could put her down at night thank goodness. There was a weird cut off point between 10-11pm. Before then she'd wake up, after it she'd stay asleep. Weird baby.

6-14 months was hell. From the moment she could sit up unassisted until she could walk she hated being a baby. Really didn't help that the first lockdown coincided with that as well.

She's 19 months now, and things are great.

I found the newborn stage ok / easy , with our first I had an horrendous birth but after I’d recovered from the PPH , the head injury and got home it was a breeze . I’ve never needed much sleep so was fine on that front and our baby had to fit in with our horses routine so I wasn’t tied to nap times etc .

I think it also massively depends what type of birth you had. I’ve yet to meet anyone who had a traumatic birth who felt they had an easy newborn, probably because recovering yourself whilst trying to look after a baby is impossible. I had a horrendous birth, life changing injuries and a NICU baby... it was the worst time of my life. She’s 7 months now and couldn’t be any easier 🤷‍♀️

@Floralnomad proved me wrong! Hadn’t read your post when I posted. 🤷‍♀️

I had a bad birth, complicated EMCS under GA after days of labour then a post op infection, readmission and slow recovery. DD was in a bad way at birth but recovered quickly. DH did absolutely loads, always has and DD slept or fed for literally weeks on end so I had time to rest and adjust. She was easy and I was delighted to finally have a baby after 5 mcs so every bit of difficulty along the way felt worth it.

I lived the newborn days work both of mine. It was by far the best bit so far (they are in double figures now so have experience to teen years)

*loved

My son was such an easy newborn that I was convinced something was dreadfully wrong. He slept really well, hardly ever cried and fed on schedule.

He did eventually find his voice and now that he’s walking I’m knackered every day.
But yeah everyone told me how awful the newborn stage was and it really wasn’t bad for me at all. It was really quite peaceful.

I loved it
C-sections followed by initially painful breastfeeding but just fell into the groove of the monotony of feed/sleep/repeat, and rolled with the punches of the night feeds.

DS was a bit of a Velcro baby but I managed to find a window every morning for a shower, which I think did me the world of good.
And we have a dog so I was forced out of the house for at least an hour a day to walk her, which I resented at the time but looking back, was great

I didn’t have any help - DH had 2 weeks paternity leave and was then out of the house from 7:30-6:30 daily, and we didn’t have any family around, but by 3ish months, I had joined a few baby classes and saw my NCT group a couple of times a week.

DD was a dream baby. Slept for 20 hours a day for the first 6 months of her life. She never cried for food. I just used to dream feed her. She didn't even cry when she was teething. I only realised she had teeth when she smiled. I never had to get up to her in the night and she loved a lie in - I was always up before her. She just loved sleeping. a decade down the line and she has never got up up early at Christmas or her birthday either, she'd rather have a proper sleep and get up when she's ready 🤣 I realise this is very unusual, but it works for me 👍

I loved it too.
4 dc and all were sleeping through 7-7 til with a dream feed by 3 months except the last one who only wanted to sleep with me which was a pain but ok in the grand scheme of things.
I was never not able to shower or feed myself I put them in their cot with a mobile on or a toy if a bit older. As well as four kids I had two step children who's mum had died. The babies slotted in as they didn't have much choice.

I had a really tricky birth both times and first baby was a nightmare. Second baby life was a bit rubbish (moved house 3 times by the time he was 6 weeks old including home from abroad and husband lost his job). But literally couldn't have been an an easier baby. He slept for about 4 months and woke every 3 hours for a feed during the day, slept through from 6 weeks old. Lay on the floor or in his bouncer when awake. He's a year a half now and get his dummy and sits at the bottom of the stairs when he's ready to nap or go to bed. He's a dream.

@Midlifelady

Newborn stage was the easiest! And I had a reflux baby 20 months after the first, who seemed to either be breastfeeding or crying for the first three months! I never understood the 'can't have a shower til noon' thing - just put the baby down and have one! Babies may be physically tiring (mine werent particularly as a good routine meant they slept well, though my son never made it to 6am). Toddlers are scary because you have to watch them like a hawk and they start having ideas that they can do things that you have just told them not to; golden years are between 4-7, when they think you are a goddess and have also gone to school; then preadolescence, then they start complaining you aren't stirring your coffee right, the whoa , boyfriends, girlfriends, friendship drama, drugs and alcohol, exam stress, body stress, 'you don't understand you don't know what it's like....' Strap in people, babyhood is the easiest stage by far.

^ This

Baby stage does seem hard at the time but later you realise it was actually the easiest stage

No I really struggled within myself, I don’t think Dd was difficult. It was more me. She’s 20 months now and we have a routine. I think as a FTM I was very shocked at how much I struggled. Some people adapt very naturally I’m just not that person.

Baby 1: Recovery from a horror birth which we were both lucky to survive. Hideous silent reflux, terrible feeding issues, various non life threatening but inconvenient/disruptive medical issues, a baby who cried constantly and only slept on me. Life upended, constant worry, utter exhaustion and terrible anxiety.

Baby 2: Easy recovery from an ELCS, easy feeder, good sleeper, sunny happy baby. More experienced, relaxed mother.

Mine are now 5 and 2 and my 5 year old has autism. It is far far far easier dealing with a child who has SEN and all that brings and wrangling a headstrong toddler at the same time than it was having my first baby that first year. Nothing, I hope, will ever be that hard ever again.

DD1 - colic, PND, 100% tongue tie and feeding difficulties. It was hell.

DD2 - absolutely content and perfection. But of course I had crazy toddler so couldn't enjoy it much.

Plus I absolutely can't stand broken sleep so any newborn is just horrendous for me!

Best to let your friend be in blissful ignorance for now!

I actually found the first 6 weeks much easier than I expected. She certainly never has been an easy baby and I had an emergency section in lockdown 2 so we weren’t exactly swanning around having a fabulous time but I did really enjoy her. She slept ok the first 6 weeks too as we co-slept. Then weeks 6-10ish I found were absolute carnage, the novelty had worn off, it was the middle of winter, everyone who was so excited for her being a newborn had dropped off the face of the earth and she wouldn’t go near anybody that wasn’t me.
She’s 20 weeks now, still very clingy to me and we sleep like absolute shit but I really love this stage

I found the baby stage although tiring, quite easy. I didn't understand what the fuss was about? I got DD into a routine by 4 weeks and she did 12-6 from around 6 weeks. Lay happily in her cot/ moses basket whilst I showered.
I know this was mostly luck of the draw but I used a dummy from birth which helped and a helpful DH that pulled his weight.