Did anyone find the newborn stage ok/ good?

[Bml11]

This is just a curious thread. I have a 2.5 year old boy, there is someone with in the family unit that is going to give birth mid summer. Whilst talking to her the other day, she was saying how she can’t wait for time off work and is just going to be sat in the garden all summer. In my head I was laughing thinking ‘you’re about to have the hardest job of your life and as for sat on the garden all summer, more like days of being unable to eat/ wash etc.’ But then i realised I was judging this based on my experience- I was blessed with a very colicy baby (was actually CMPA bit did work this out till he was eating solids) and PND - along with a partner that worked away pretty much from me giving birth so I struggled massively. So I’m just curious, did anyone find the newborn stage easy? I understand a lot will be down to the support you get. Just curious to see if anyone actually found it a breeze?

Found it easy and enjoyable with both and only a year apart so with Dd I had year old Ds too.
A lot of time spent feeding but I found that quite relaxing, pop the tv on and just let them get on with it. Autumn babies so no sitting in the garden but if it was summer I would have happily sat in the garden feeding.

DD1 had silent reflux and was a very unhappy small baby so I found it all very difficult. DD2 is the most contented little thing you'll meet so it was a walk in the park.

I still think I would've found the first time tough going even with an easy baby though, the extent to which your life is upended is hard to anticipate. And second time around just reminded me how much I hate being postnatal - I had sections so obviously that involves a recovery, but also bleeding, leaking milk, sore nipples, engorged breasts. Urgh. Just not a fun time.

So yeah, I think it's ok to find it difficult even with an easy baby.

No

1st was ok - I found it quite dull so didn't really embrace or enjoy it, turned into a nightmare sleeper from about 6mo
2nd is an absolute dream - sleeps well, feeds well, smiley and happy.

Only have one - I found the first couple of weeks really difficult - establishing breastfeeding etc - but after that things were much easier, we co-slept which meant no nighttime crying and much more sleep for me, dh v supportive and took over all the cooking, housework, nappies etc. I spent most of my time reading while she fed or napped on me. Now she's mobile things are a lot more challenging! 😂

Loved it. She slept for most of the first 6 weeks, slept 13 hours a night from 6 weeks to 4 months. Barely ever cried - the first time I remember her properly crying was at her first jabs. Feeding went well, she was very relaxed and happy. For the first 6 months the house had never been cleaner, I read a lot of books and watched several long series. It was amazing, so much easier than I expected.

Then she sat, crawled and walked early... And I’ve barely sat down since. The 4 month regression hit hard and she hasn’t slept through since at 2. But she’s still very happy and easy company, doesn’t cry often and is a lot of fun.

We can’t have another but if we could I’d have handfuls (and then find out she was a unicorn and subsequent babies would break us)

Dd spent most the evening screaming from colic....... But she only woke once during the night and slept through from 6 weeks.

Ds was a dream baby, also slept through early but didn't nap at all during the day. Swings and roundabouts I suppose.

It was the hardest few weeks/months of my life and I was genuinely traumatised. I was quite ill with severe PND, difficult physical recovery from horrendous birth, unsettled refluxy colicky newborn who needed to be held up high and in constant motion - just awful. I can't look at photos from those early days

I went back to work at 3 months, which saved my sanity, but I found the first year pretty challenging. Everything got easier for me as she grew more independent. Now she's a lovely, funny, chatty 21 month old.

I am never doing the baby thing again.

Thinking back as she's nearly 13 my first was an easy baby and the newborn stage was lovely. We had IVF for both of our children and the previous 8 yrs had been so stressful I think anything was almost easier. Our second 5 yrs later was not an easy baby, he didn't sleep well and doesn't to this day, he's now nearly 8. Even so I enjoyed the newborn days with him but I had the luxury of my eldest being at school so it was like an only child again. I had less expectations with him too which made me more easy going.

@Newmama29 - I think as long as you don’t put too much pressure on yourself & just enjoy the cuddles & stop trying to keep the house clean & do everything else you could really enjoy it.

This is something I wish I could go back and not do. I was so house proud and tried to continue that after giving birth, it run me down to the ground. partner didn’t help cook or clean because ‘he was tired too’ 🤨 so I was doing it all. Took me a while to let the house go and except a bit of mess.

@Bml11 yes exactly! That would be my advice to any new mum

It was horrendous with all 3 DCs. (However, as teens, they have all been marvelous so far. So swings and roundabouts...)

@Neolara - wow, I’m struggling to want another because one has been so hard let alone 3! Lol

Newborn stage was the easiest! And I had a reflux baby 20 months after the first, who seemed to either be breastfeeding or crying for the first three months! I never understood the 'can't have a shower til noon' thing - just put the baby down and have one!
Babies may be physically tiring (mine werent particularly as a good routine meant they slept well, though my son never made it to 6am). Toddlers are scary because you have to watch them like a hawk and they start having ideas that they can do things that you have just told them not to; golden years are between 4-7, when they think you are a goddess and have also gone to school; then preadolescence, then they start complaining you aren't stirring your coffee right, the whoa , boyfriends, girlfriends, friendship drama, drugs and alcohol, exam stress, body stress, 'you don't understand you don't know what it's like....'
Strap in people, babyhood is the easiest stage by far.

My 3rd was easy because I had a longer gap than between 1&2 and I wasn’t unsure like I was with number one plus no colic from any of them so there is that hugely lucky factor.

@Neolara my teens are great too - but I find the emotional energy required more exhausting. And I worry that my almost 18 year old still can not think before he acts - adult body but still maturing brain.

Yes, dd2 was a very easy newborn. She didn't cluster feed, could be moved without sleeping. Absolute terror between 12-24 months though so it all balanced out!

[quote Midlifelady]@Neolara my teens are great too - but I find the emotional energy required more exhausting. And I worry that my almost 18 year old still can not think before he acts - adult body but still maturing brain.[/quote]
Firmly agree with all of this ☺️

I’m due our first at the start of the summer and also planning to enjoy a rather lazy summer 🤣

My partner 100% sets his own work schedule so he’ll be at home all of the time too, there aren’t really a minimum amount of hours he has to do in a week. He already does the majority of jobs around the house because my works quite full on. I’ve also got lots of family within a 20 minute drive, my mums semi retired so I should have lots of support.

I’m really looking forward to it tbh. I work silly hours and don’t get much sleep with my job anyway so am fairly used to functioning with sleep deprivation.

Mine was a very easy new born. I actually worried there was something wrong with him, as he slept almost all the time. He would only wake up to be fed, and changed, then straight back to sleep day and night. He slept for 6 hours at a stretch at night right from the start, and was sleeping through the night from a couple of months old. It still felt like all I did was feed, and change on repeat, but with a good nights sleep it wasn't too hard. I stopped at one, and I suspect wouldn't have been so lucky second time round.

@PinkPlantCase

I’m due our first at the start of the summer and also planning to enjoy a rather lazy summer 🤣

My partner 100% sets his own work schedule so he’ll be at home all of the time too, there aren’t really a minimum amount of hours he has to do in a week. He already does the majority of jobs around the house because my works quite full on. I’ve also got lots of family within a 20 minute drive, my mums semi retired so I should have lots of support.

I’m really looking forward to it tbh. I work silly hours and don’t get much sleep with my job anyway so am fairly used to functioning with sleep deprivation.

I hope you have a lovely summer ☺️

I had one 'easy' baby, and one not so much 😀
It really is the luck of the draw.

Frankly in my case even the most difficult baby years were a walk in the park compared to the teenage ones.

Yes, I did. I wouldn't normally say that to anyone as it sounds smug or like I'm lying, but I found it really easy and lovely. I didn't have any support in terms of parents etc, but my DH did his share. Both my dc were pretty easy, slept well (one only woke once a night from birth , the other woke 2 times on average). I never rocked or sung either baby to sleep ever, they just, well, fell asleep. I didn't bf so I didn't have any problems with latching, cluster feeding, sore nipples, etc. I definitely don't recognise the "can't eat or wash for days" thing. It's not because I'm a good parent, I'm very average, just lucky I guess.

I had dream newborn. All went wrong at 2 though.

Me - I found pregnancy very hard - had very bad sickness and depression - all of which eased the further along I got but it was a real slog.

Once she was here it was like everything lifted and I felt well.

I mean yes I was tired, my body sore and all that but that was a different kind of thing to feeling very miserable for months on end with rotten sickness.

She was an ordinarly easy baby. Feeding went well - she was quite clingy but my DH and MIL were a real support as they both encouraged me to just do whatever I needed to do - co-sleep, sling and my DD was a very contented baby so long as you weren't trying to force her to lie down alone before she was ready! If I hadn't had that support I might have tried to force things with her and created misery all round.

Can't stress enough the importance of good support in the early days.

Plus some babies just are more challenging esp if they have colic and so on.