Positive WFH with baby stories?

[WeeScottishWife]

I'd love to hear some positive experiences of working from home while also looking after a baby!

I'm starting back at work next month after finishing maternity leave. It's going to be mostly home based now, and my job is pretty flexible on which hours I work, so long as everything gets done. It's also the sort of job where I can do a lot from my phone, or away from a screen entirely. Husband & I have talked about having a nanny come in part time (he'll also be WFH, but is a lot more tied to the desk & 9-5 hours) but to begin with I think I want to try just looking after the baby myself.

I expect there are lots of people who'll think I'm mad, and I can think of plenty of reasons myself NOT to do it, but I'd be really interested to hear from parents who have done it & it worked for you :D

Are you full time? I have a (very) part time job which I can do round when DD is asleep and I have continued doing that all through my maternity leave from my main job. But it is about 6 to 10 hours a week, and as long as I met the deadlines completely flexible. It's not this but think of something like proof reading. I couldn't do many more hours though.

@WeeScottishWife how old is the baby, is the question.

I WFH same as my husband, both demanding jobs but mine is more flex (I can have the baby on my lap on internal calls, for example).

But he is with a nanny 9-4. No work would ever get done with him at home. Scrolling on the internet, reading random bits, stuff like that yes. Working, like delivering a work product that I'm paid for - no.

When he comes home, I must take a break 4-7pm, bedtime, and back to work 8pm-whenever. That's just the life, nothing can be done about that and I am grateful I can do it this way.

It does depend on your job, but if you can afford help, why would you not do it?

What does your employer think about your plan?

Surely the only option if you do it this way is to get up stupidly early to work for a few hours, while H sorts baby til 9am, then you will need to stop for the day til he is finished at 5, t which point you will go back to work for the rest of the night?

Why!?

Put the baby in nursery! Or a Childminder! Or a Nanny!

@110APiccadilly

Are you full time? I have a (very) part time job which I can do round when DD is asleep and I have continued doing that all through my maternity leave from my main job. But it is about 6 to 10 hours a week, and as long as I met the deadlines completely flexible. It's not this but think of something like proof reading. I couldn't do many more hours though.

I have the exact same situation, I've kept up my second job during mat leave from my main job. 2-10 hours a week depending on which stage of the project. On the weeks it was 6h or more, I cried with tiredness and desperation. It is impossible to get more than 2h a day to work, and that's with my DH also WFH (full time).

My day looks like this:

Baby wakes many times in the night, we co sleep, I get about 5h sleep in total across multiple sleeps.
My DH comes in at 7 and takes the baby, first nappy change, cuddles, while I sleep for an extra hour, totally shattered.
8am he gives me back the baby and makes breakfast. Baby breastfeeds side-lying on the bed while I reach over her to do some easy stuff on my laptop (!!!! Literally feeding my baby and working at the same time = mega stressful). I get 15min work done this way.
9am we both have breakfast in bed with baby between us playing.
10am he starts work. I wash bottles, do laundry, with baby in jumperoo.
11.30am I take her out in the pram as the easiest way to get her to nap. I buy sandwiches while out.
1pm back at home we eat the sandwiches, change, feed, clean up the high chair from baby's solid lunch.
By now it's time for another nap and this is the harder one. Cuddles, feeding, pacing, finally she's asleep. Contact nap but I have my laptop nearby. 30 mins work while baby naps.
Then it's back in the jumperoo while I hang up the laundry and prepare dinner.
6pm DH finishes work and takes the baby for a change and cuddles. I cook the dinner and some baby solids.
6.30-8.30: dinner, bath, settle baby for bed. I bathe with baby to save time. Settling takes ages. Meanwhile DH is doing all the washing up.
9-10 I can get an hour of work done. Dh gets brief downtime. Then at 10-11ish we watch a film on silent with subtitles on, in bed with baby between us, possibly being fed.
We all go to bed, my DH in the spare room. In my case, "bed" means waking up every 2h to feed and soothe.

Total work done: 1h45. Total downtime for me: 1h silent film + pram walk. Total downtime for DH: 1h silent film + possible 1h in the evening.

You are having a laugh if you think you can do more than a couple of hours' work a day while caring for a baby!

I remember reading a book once and the heroine took her baby to work and popped him under her desk. My baby was the same age at that time and I was 🙄🙄🙄 at the impossiblity of this !

You can't do it I'm afraid, it's just not possible. Babies/toddlers/under 5s you n general, need too much attention and they won't wait until you finish your work meeting/call/report etc.

We tried it, both my husband and I WFH, we lasted 4 weeks and were on the verge of collapse by the end. One of us always had to be with the DC so only one of us could work at a time and although we both have flexible jobs there were lots of times we both needed to work at the same time. It became obvious to both our bosses we were spending more time on childcare than working at certain times. It was not a good look, even though we both worked in the evening and kept on top of workload. It was exhausting.

You’re employer will have something to say about it pretty quickly
You can’t do both to the levels required at the same time
Is this a way to dodge childcare costs?

@Figgygal

You’re employer will have something to say about it pretty quickly You can’t do both to the levels required at the same time Is this a way to dodge childcare costs?

Some employers are more accepting than others. Minecactually suggested it 23 years ago , to save on childcare. Thete are companies who say that their staff are working from home and please be understanding if you hear children in the background

Done it. It’s a special kind of hell where nothing is done to anyone’s satisfaction... least of all your baby’s.

I did it, but I only needed to work about 10 hours a week. Any more than that and we would have needed a nanny.

I was assigned a staff member with flexible hours and it became apparent that she had no formal childcare and she had a baby. I would be sent bits of work to check very close to deadlines which were frankly always substandard. The few times I managed to speak to her on the phone she was distracted and occasionally I could hear the baby cry. I ended up feeling very resentful that she relied heavily on me to fix work, attend formal calls on her behalf, to facilitate cross working with other colleagues. I guess it depends on your type of work but this member of staff became a liability and not a team player.

I honestly think you'll exhaust yourself, underperform at work and have serious mum guilt when you don't get any proper time to spend with the baby. Plus the baby will be getting to the age they need some stimulation outside of the house - other children or focussed activity.

@whatswithtodaytoday

Like ChillyB, I worked with a toddler at home during lockdowns (14 months at the beginning of the first lockdown) and it is impossible. It broke me, I still don't feel I've recovered.

You can't give your focus to either your baby or your work, you'll feel guilty you're doing nothing properly, and everyone will suffer. Especially you.

100% this. It nearly killed me

IMO (and from experience with wfh with small child during lockdowns) it's not doable. You think it will be. But the reality is so different. My employer has been so so flexible but it's just awful and you have no time to do a decent job at work or parenting as it all just merged into one chaotic, stressful mess.

Also.... whilst you have a flexible employer for hours etc, there are sometimes when you might just have to attend a meeting at a set time during the day and it's unlikely to fit with baby's naps. Work calls or meetings whilst trying to tend to toddler requests or baby cries is stressful and also unprofessional tbh. Employers will only be flexible to an extent, even the most flexible of them! Eventually you'll have to bend to their time schedule for some things.

Put baby in nursery or childminder. Out of the house. A nanny in the house would be better than nothing but not ideal, given you and Dh are wfh.

I don’t think people will think you are mad OP, so much as totally taking the piss out of your employers, who I imagine will get wise to it pretty swiftly, due to fact you won’t get any work done.

@Floopyandtired

Oooh you’ll get flamed here for asking this OP! But I did it, and it was fine. Only one day a week mind and to be honest now my little boy is 3 he needs way too much of my attention to make it work. But with a baby it was fairly easy. Good luck!

😂 Apparently I was optimistic asking to hear from people who had done it successfully!

Good to hear about your personal experience with it, thank you for sharing.

I do it but I'm self employed. Tiny baby very very easy just don't expect to also cook fancy meals or do housework. Anything up to mobile baby fairly easy. Mobile baby - 2 quite tricky, requires an iPad and bribery. Eldest went to preschool a couple of days at 2. I now have 2 children and I'm still just about managing.
I don't have to make phone calls ( they are really difficult with children), Ive only made one video call and my Mother had to look after them for that.
I usually have an hour or 2 of must do tasks a day, the rest I can fit in around them or leave until another day.