Positive WFH with baby stories?

[WeeScottishWife]

I'd love to hear some positive experiences of working from home while also looking after a baby!

I'm starting back at work next month after finishing maternity leave. It's going to be mostly home based now, and my job is pretty flexible on which hours I work, so long as everything gets done. It's also the sort of job where I can do a lot from my phone, or away from a screen entirely. Husband & I have talked about having a nanny come in part time (he'll also be WFH, but is a lot more tied to the desk & 9-5 hours) but to begin with I think I want to try just looking after the baby myself.

I expect there are lots of people who'll think I'm mad, and I can think of plenty of reasons myself NOT to do it, but I'd be really interested to hear from parents who have done it & it worked for you :D

Not allowed in my workplace.

Quite rightly so, the baby won’t get the care and stimulation needed and the work won’t get the full attention that it needs and the employer pays you for.

Don’t do it unless you are self employed and can arrange your work around your baby.

I have tried, but nope. I had one call where I had set it all up for DS to be entertained and he spent the whole call following me around and crying and it traumatised both of us. Fast forward to the first lockdown, and I had DD and DS (toddlers) no childcare options and I ended up developing depression and anxiety. So in summary - no. It is awful and I would never knowingly attempt it again.

I did it in the last lockdown. We all survived but that’s about the only positive thing I can take from the whole experience.

I was only allowed to do it because they were “unprecedented times” and there was no alternative. I can’t see many bosses being up for this.

How old is the baby? Are they crawling yet? Once they're on the go they need your full attention. It'll be exhausting and you won't be able to truly concentrate.

My job has always had an element of WFH and 3 days a week I do an hours work with my eldest child home, even though she's almost 7 I still save the easy jobs (replying to emails, general admin etc) as she's telling me about school, or Minecraft or wanting food. My youngest is almost 4 and I could probably do some work but it's still very mood dependent and if he's being a pain I wouldn't be able to.

From ages 0-3 the child is too consuming to consider it at all for any length of time in my opinion.

Depends how many hours a week you work and if the work is completely flexible.

Eg - if you can work 2 or 3 hours on an evening when DH can look after the baby then fair enough. If you have to work longer hours, and have to be contactable at points during the day, then it's just not on.

Trying to WFH with a baby is a ridiculous idea, unless you don't mind whether or not you lose your job. You won't get anything done and you won't be able to catch up on a day's work in the evening either.

How many hours will you work? Let's be cautious and suggest you can get away with six hours a day. Starting now, try ignoring your baby for six hours a day. Maybe three blocks of two hours. No hearing her cry, picking her up up and continuing work, just ignore as if not there.

See how it goes. Add up how much time you have spent at work.

Then start to work out what childcare you need.

I think working from home with a baby is a potential but it’s not with a toddler.

I'm sorry, I had to work part time (16 hours over 4 days at that time) during the first lockdown with no childcare for a 1 and 3 year old. I had to work during their naps (2 hour ish, so 1-1.5 hours of work) and then in the evenings once they had gone to bed, so maybe 8-10 if they went straight to sleep and didn't wake, until about midnight if they did. Then up at 5 the next day to do it all again.

I was beyond tired, and that is with no time to clean or have any downtime for myself.

You cannot do it, especially when baby begins to move more. How will you sustain their attention when it's usually difficult while you only have to watch them without working?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Nope.

@Ihaveoflate

I just don't understand why anyone would even consider this. Surely you would factor in childcare when planning for a baby and thinking about returning to work?!

My baby was 8 months when lockdown 1 started and nurseries closed. DH and I had to work in shifts around childcare. We both work p/t and it still nearly broke us. There was no time for anything else, just work, childcare and sleep. I would never actively choose that life.

We were the same except DS was 13 months and we both worked full time albeit from home.

Nurseries in Scotland have been closed for about 2/3rds of the pandemic unless you were both key workers and unable to wfh. Really strict criteria.

It’s not safe. There was that horrific case of the toddler who died whilst his poor mother was trying to work and do childcare in lockdown 1. The coroner and even the police all said how sorry they were for the parents - they hadn’t chosen to do that but you want to?

I've done this as self employed. It's easily doable IMO for the first 3 months, and gets increasingly harder as the baby gets older and turns into a toddler. With working evenings as well, I was able to do about 5h work a day with a 6mo, dropping to about 4hrs a day from about 9m, ie, naps and some work in the evenings.

It was very tiring though, and in only did it because it meant I could spend more time with my child that way. It's not viable long term, and it does literally mean you get zero downtime as the laptop goes on as soon as they go to sleep.

I agree. This really only works if you are self employed and have COMPLETE flexibility over when you work and how much you take on. And even then it's brutal. You spend enough time as a working mum, even with childcare in place, feeling that you're not doing either of your "jobs" to the level that you'd like. Don't make that your life if you can possibly help it. For everyone's sake.

What are your hours? The o my way it can work is that you work after your husband finishes. You can't care 100% for a baby/ toddler and give 100% to your child.

I work 24 hours part time and pretty much entirely flexibly but my daughter does 8 hours a week at nursery. I do the remaining 16 whilst she’s napping or sometimes she comes with me. Last week I had to inspect some art work installations at a nature reserve so she came in the carrier.

My employer knows if they book meetings outside the 8 hours, she’ll come with me and are fine with it. As long as I get the work done they don’t mind.

This is completely ridiculous and irresponsible. Get proper childcare. It is absolutely unfair for your baby to not have 100% attention from their caregiver.
What on earth are you thinking?!!

Babies change a lot when they’re around 18 months... and before then you’ll be chasing them round as they’re crawling and toddling. They climb on you and press all the keys on your laptop and interrupt everything. You’ll likely be tired and stressed.

Yeah... no. They’ll be mobile before you know if. My husband used to do one day a week from home with my son when I went back to work and he had to call his parents in if he wanted to do more than merely answer emails.

This only works if you’re self-employed.

It depends on what job you have but if it involves a lot of data input having a young baby around is a nightmare. Mine was 10 months this time last year and it wasn't too bad when she could just play on the floor but pretty soon she was moving about and it was hard to keep an eye on her. Then as she got older there were months where she would just bash the keyboard if she had the chance and constantly turn the laptops on and off.

Personally I wouldn't do it if I had the choice and I don't regret her now going to nursery on my work days.

Completely inappropriate.

Don’t do it. I’m working around my baby to catch up on a few hours work here and there, but have childcare for my actual few days of work each week. There is no way I could do it without childcare on some days, it’s hard enough trying to fit in a few hours let alone a whole week.

I did from when dd was 6 weeks. I already had ds 2 and it was my bosses idea that i work from home 23 years ago. Ds went to nursery a couple of days a week and dd was at home until she was 2.
I worked when dd napped and after dc were in bed. I was on 20hrs a week. I worked from home for 11 years in the end

You can do it but only if you work while baby is asleep or looked after by dh.

Personally I never want to be in that position again, particularly with a baby. Having recently done 10 weeks with no childcare as not essential worker but actually having to work.

I got up at 6am worked til 9.30, took over from dh, who works 9-5, got kids dressed and a snack. Tried to reply to emails while baby was eating snack. Entertain then til 12, give dinner and up for nap, 12.30-2.30 so I worked then and then afternoon was a write off, log back on.in evening for 2 hours or more when baby went down so 9-11 or 12. It was horrific. Never again. Horrible for all involved. Dh did childcare around his working hours too we were exhausted and just passed each other on way to bed or to log on in evenings.

I really wouldn't recommend it.

None it's bloody awful would not recommend