Positive WFH with baby stories?

[WeeScottishWife]

I'd love to hear some positive experiences of working from home while also looking after a baby!

I'm starting back at work next month after finishing maternity leave. It's going to be mostly home based now, and my job is pretty flexible on which hours I work, so long as everything gets done. It's also the sort of job where I can do a lot from my phone, or away from a screen entirely. Husband & I have talked about having a nanny come in part time (he'll also be WFH, but is a lot more tied to the desk & 9-5 hours) but to begin with I think I want to try just looking after the baby myself.

I expect there are lots of people who'll think I'm mad, and I can think of plenty of reasons myself NOT to do it, but I'd be really interested to hear from parents who have done it & it worked for you :D

It won't work. It's not fair on either your employer or your baby. What will the baby do while you're working? You won't be able to give them the attention they need.

This is a mad idea

I had to do this for one day while my husband got a COVID test, while on my first conference call of the day my 18m old slipped off the dining chair next to me, literally within reach of me, cracked her head on the floor, we both cried. I can't work and look after a baby at the same time.

I own my business. Could do the hours whenever I wanted. Still only lasted 4 weeks before I hired extra help.

Listen to everyone on here OP who have more experience than you... it isn't possible

Pre covid I did it with my first baby one day a week but once she started rolling and crawling it just wasn't safe for my attention to be elsewhere and not fair on her

Obviously I've also done it because I had to during the lockdowns with a 4 year old. Also wouldn't voluntarily do that again

Most employers have a clause in your contract stating working from home can't be used in place of childcare.....

How old will your baby be? I had to do this in lockdown 1 with a 4 month old- it was fine for a couple of months but he was a super easy baby happy to be in the sling and basically nap and feed. Once I had a mobile baby I was working during naps and after bedtime only- it nearly broke me. I can work any hours I want and my employer is great but trying to fit 8 hours in every day was a nightmare and I used annual leave in the end to reduce my hours and even then I don't think I pulled my weight properly in those couple of months- I was so tired!. Luckily it was short term and he went to nursery at 8 months. All of this was only acceptable when the pandemic first hit, everything shut, no childcare bubbles etc. I still have some leeway (bubbles bursting etc) but generally everyone is expected to have made alternative arrangements by now as in normal times.

How many hours do you need to do per day, and what kind of work is it?

You can probably do a decent chunk of work IF you have a chilled out baby who naps well BUT babies get increasingly unpredictable and need a lot more attention once they start crawling/walking. So you can't assume it will go well every day. And it's not fair to either your employer or your baby.

How old is your baby?

I wfh for the best part of the last year with a baby/toddler as nurseries in Scotland were shut for the majority of the year. Even juggling care with DH it’s been an absolute NIGHTMARE.

I wouldn’t ever wish to do it again.

It's not about being mad, it's about your ability to do your job and your ability to look after your baby.

You need to be really realistic about how much time you have available to work. Figure it out - honestly.

Because most babies don't allow you to have 8 hours a day to do other stuff.

I had to do this for a bit not by choice and it was dangerous to my baby as I couldn’t focus and caused me major stress. It was horrific

I am a senior manager in a very flexible workplace and this wouldn’t be acceptable, do your work know about your plans?

We have a lady who works 3.5 days per week with her 0.5 day being from home with her small child at home and that is just about ok, but full time would be an absolute no as it’s simply not possible to give the proper attention to your work.

It’s not safe at all once baby is mobile. They need your attention.

I had to do a kit day with baby in the room and I scraped by being on mute and doing the bare minimum while stopping him killing himself on plugs/climbing cupboards/wasting cables.

If work had known I’d have been in the shit.

You need to check your policy. My work has the single most flexible Flexible Working Policy I've ever seen, no core hours, WFH no permission required, it's pretty much "work 36 hours, we don't care how or when" EXCEPT childcare, explicitly states you should not be looking after dependents when working. And for bloody good reason!

Oh op. I asked this question over 3 years and 2 babies ago. My eldest must be the best sleeper I've ever known. 11hours a night and 2 x1.5 hours naps during the day from about 3 months like clock work. I still was not in a position to do anything like a full time job.

I could probably get 4-5 hours of free time on a good, well organised day but that meant cooking and cleaning while the baby is awake and no down time at all.

Also you need to appreciate having a young baby is knackering even if they sleep well. It's a massive adjustment. I could barely function for the first 6 months and regularly begged my oh to come home early so I could got to bed. All I had the energy to do in the evening is consume media. I could produce nothing.

I’m a single mum, and went back to work for my employer and self employed (WFH) when DD was 6 weeks, and it was tough, and has got even tougher as the weeks have gone by (now 5 months). I’m managing 30-35hrs per week atm. I work a lot when / if she naps (which was hard during regressions), but I mainly work in the evenings once DD is asleep, at the expense of my own time, good series and early night. I have a childminder 1 day a week so I can do meetings, block if work, calls etc. Then manage quick emails etc during the day when I get a moment when she’s entertained. I don’t think I could do my hours / job during the day really, as I’m in “mum mode” especially as the older she is getting the more she needs my attention. I would also feel mum guilt, if she wanted to play and I was there, but not available.
Would your employer let you work weekends and evenings? So your DP could help? How flexible is your boss and easy to manage your hours, with 5minutes here, 10 minutes there?

If you only have to work, say 2-3 hours a day, yes, you can probably manage it by doing 1 hour during baby's nap and 2 hours in the evening, say, 8-10pm after you finish bed and bath time. It's not a particularly nice way to live though because it means you have no downtime ever.

I agree with this - speaking from experience, it is doable if you’re only working 2-3 hours a day and have very flexible work, as you can work when the baby naps or is asleep in the evenings. But it’s also completely exhausting as you never get a moment to relax - I found any spare time I did have was taken up by cooking, cleaning and general life admin.

Hellish experience. Not sure why you'd consider this? Just get a full time nanny and enjoy lunchtime and break time cuddles.

I had a very happy, sleepy baby so I did manage to work part time while she napped and DC1 was at playgroup or nursery. I caught up in the evenings when both were asleep (single parent). I was a technical author so as long as I made deadlines no one cared how I did it.

I was extremely lucky to have two children who went to bed early and were quite undemanding.

Based on my experiences of trying to work when DS was sent home for coughing at nursery. I would strongly advise against trying to juggle the two.

You also need to consider that even if your baby is low maintenance now, as they grow/ become more mobile/ become more socially aware the amount of attention they need from you will vary.

I’m going to guess that right now your child isn’t yet walking (climbing, divebombing off things), is fairly relaxed about you leaving the room or having your attention elsewhere, doesn’t mind a playpen, and takes two-three naps a day?

What happens when they go down to two naps, then one? And the transition period between those schedules when they turn into a hellbeast? When they can’t be contained by a playpen, MUST be in a room with you if you’re home – and doing what you’re doing, bash goes your keyboard, that’s their phone now, can’t hide in the loo because “watch mummy wee”, “I no nap today”, what’s that noise? Oh, it’s a toddler climbing on something while also breaking something and also covered in jam, who’s just done a massive poo, taken off their nappy and run away, and won’t submit to a change unless you sing Wheels on the Bus ten times.

Get some childcare.

I could do half a day when my baby was around 9 months, wasn’t walking, still had a long nap. No way could I do this from a year old or for any longer than half a day.
I would suggest maybe your husband takes some flexi time to be with the baby around your working day.

DH and I both have flexible working with very understanding employers but I don't think this is feasible. DH is full time WFH and I do 1 day in the office out of 5. Our current plan is we will both work compressed hours over 4 days so 1 day off each and would need childcare for 3 days. Possibly 3 half days as DH can do early pick up whilst I work in the afternoon and he finishes his hours in the evening.

Your baby should come first. However that means you can’t devote proper time to being an employee if you are the main carer. If this is a job you would otherwise do in an office would you take the cot and baby things and set up at work?

As a colleague I’ve been fine with this during lockdown or child sent home due to isolation from nursery. I be quite annoyed or angry if it was allowed routinely.

I just don't understand why anyone would even consider this. Surely you would factor in childcare when planning for a baby and thinking about returning to work?!

My baby was 8 months when lockdown 1 started and nurseries closed. DH and I had to work in shifts around childcare. We both work p/t and it still nearly broke us. There was no time for anything else, just work, childcare and sleep. I would never actively choose that life.

Do not do this. Most employers also don’t allow it.