You know you have a toddler in the house when...

[EffiePerine]

Your bathtub contains 5 shampoo and shower gel bottles, a red truck and a mug

You lose you mobile and find it in the middle of the laundry basket

No matter how often you clear up, the floor is covered with toys, clothes and mangled pieces of food

your fridge has as many mega bloks inside as it has food!
anyone found a fridge lock that works and stays on for more than 2 minutes!?

Message withdrawn

You find a loo roll in the fridge. Realise that, as DS can't actually reach the fridge, it must be a result of your own (constantly sleep-deprived) state of distracted confusion and compulsive 'attempts' to tidy-up.

Push flush loos become a modern wonder of nature as your very expensive lipstick is flushed away. Along with your car keys, mooncup and a rubber duck (which remains, tauntingly in the bowl, inviting the little darling to try again with more spoils).

The cats are traumatised from being chased and now only come out when DD has conked out for the evening.

When out walking you see a cat on a doorstep, then have to stop to look at EVERY doorstep all the way home, just in case there are more cats.

When you only get to have clean clothes on for half an hour before your dc comes up for a "Hug!" which basically is an excuse to wipe her nose / mouth on your shoulder. But you wear the snot grimed top all day anyway, because she'll only do it again if you change..

pmsl at these

when you sing the tune to thomas every five minutes.

when you have to sat goodnight to each train (by name) and give it a kiss.

when you find yourself shaking as you pour a glass of wine

when you nearly break your foot on a regular basis (fecking train tracks)

when ds asks you for a kiss then wipes his nose in your hair