If your parents had an age gap, how did it affect you?

[lifejusthappens]

I’m going to regret starting this thread I’m sure. I never thought I’d be in an ‘age gap’ relationship but here I am, he’s 15 years older than me. We have one DC and are TTC for another. 15 years isn’t the sort of gap he’ll get bullied over, right? By other kids? It won’t have a huge effect on him? My husband is early 40s, so not a hugely ‘old’ dad by modern standards?

If your parents had an age gap, did it affect you? We’re you ever bullied for it?

Thanks all. My anxiety about it all has definitely ramped up lately so I think I’ll book another session with my counsellor in.

It didn't affect me and my parents had a 30 year age gap

Honestly, I think that ideas about the 'normal' age range for parents are so related to socio-economic things that people's experiences will be very different.

When DS went to a village school in England, DH and I (we had DS when we were both a few months short of 40) were among the oldest parents in his cohort some of the grandmothers picking up were my age and I was also one of only three working mothers out of 27. He's now at a mildly hippy inner-city school where a lot of the parents are medics and academics, and I'd say we're bang on average.

Thank you. I’ve reached out to my counsellor to put my worries at bay. Thinking about ttc has put my mind in overdrive.

It didn't.

It didn’t affect me growing up at all.

Sadly he died when I was 28 which felt a bit unfair

There was a ten year age gap between my parents and although it didn't affect me, it affected my mother when she was in her seventies and active and my father was in his eighties and had health issues. It meant she had to curtail a lot of her activities to look after him, which she did very willingly, but looking back it must have been hard for her.

My best friend at school had parents with a 20 year age gap. We met when we were 10 and her parents were around 40 and 60. Her Dad was the same age as my grandparents which seemed a little odd to me but only because I had recently moved from a small Irish town where most parents had children in their 20's. She was never bullied for it and I never made any comments beyond the intitial "really? He's 60?" surprise. I don't think the age difference part even registered with us as children.

There's a big age gap between my mum and dad, but it never bothered me.... unless you count being a horrible teenager when EVERYTHING THEY DID bothered me 🤣

My dad is still very fit and relatively healthy and people are very surprised to discover his age- he walks everywhere and says my mum keeps him young!

I had friends whose parents had significant age gaps but it was just one of many things that mildly surprised me about other people's families, as part of the normal process of discovering that there's more than one way of doing things. I think I was much more astonished that my best friend's family ate their weetabix cold and whole than that her dad was 20 years older than her mum! I certainly don't remember any bullying about it.

I did think it was a bit dubious that the father of one of my friends was much older than her mum and that he'd been her university tutor - turns out justifiably, as he then left her for an even younger one of his students. But that's a very specific scenario!

My parents were 13 years apart in age, my mom being younger and it did not affect me or my brother at all! We lived happy and normally and nobody ever commented about the age gap. (Except for when I became of age and my mom, who always has and still looks much younger than her age, we would get mistaken for being the daughter/wife, vice versa , but lol that was always taken as a compliment!) My mom was 20 and my dad was 33 when they had me. I grew up with the idea that age is just a number. And that’s what everyone should too! If you’re an adult, mature and love someone, go for it. Don’t let fear of what other think or may think hold you back. I wouldn’t be here if that had been the case!