DD father keeps calling her by a different name.

[Cresida]

My child's father keeps calling her something other than what her actual name is.

He disappeared when I was in my first trimester. Despite me contacting him in regards to trying to clarify how much involvement he wanted he didn't respond.
Reluctantly he came to the birth.
He was great at first but then had an issue with the name I'd chosen for our daughter. He said he wanted it to be a different name (the name is a Muslim name, which he ISNT but I'm a Christian. He's actually not religious)
I said we can double barrel and he can add a middle name and he refuted that idea. He basically said "over my dead body". He's now told people that's our daughters name and when he dragged me to do a dna test (because I didn't agree to change the name) he wrote her details down as the name he'd chosen and his surname.
We are now discussing visitation and he keeps calling our daughter but that name. Am I right to be annoyed? I feel that because he has a family member who is a solicitor specializing in family law, he may try and take this to court. He recently started emailing all messages after he WhatsApp's them.. clearly creating an evidence trail

@frazzledasarock

You’re misunderstanding what constitutes a Muslim name.

No. I know what a Muslim name is. The names I've used aren't real.

Please @frazzledasarock enlighten me. Because in the context the OP has used it sounds like me to mean a name of Arabic origin.

The op is in an abusive situation and needs good advice and support not an RE lesson about the etymology of names ffs

Why is anyone batting for the dad here? If @BusyLizzie61 thinks he owes OP nothing, then by the same logic she owes him nothing either. He impregnated this woman, fucked off during the pregnancy after behaving in a way that made her feel in danger, offered no support before or after the birth and is now haranguing her to implement his choices for a child he’s consistently shown he isn’t interested in. Motherhood isn’t solely a woman’s doing, his sperm was involved as well and if he wanted a say he should have behaved like a decent person from the start

"How did you get embroiled with such a loser in the first place?

Why is he filling out legal documents on her behalf? To what do they pertain.

Frankly the name games are the least of your worries here. I'd put my energy into making a living and moving away from this abusive asshole. It's a pity you ever told him of the pregnancy"

@PerveenMistry
We met through mutual friends and knew each other for a few years prior to getting in a relationship. I can't go into specifics on here but he had gone and tried to sign things and out her on legal documents and when I've gone to do the same I've found the wrong name.
I don't live near him. I wish I hadn't

@frazzledasarock

Adam and Daniel are Muslim names, Old Testament names are Muslim names.

OP I would stop engaging with this man, but if he takes you to court ensure you have a very good solicitor, as a general rule it’s almost impossible to have a child’s name changed once it’s on the birth certificate.

I hope you're right

@Dddccc

Come on this is just petty between you both sounds like it was your wants and wishes for everything and you didn't give a shit you were just trying to get one over him, thing is if you don't work together its only going to hurt one person in the end and that is your child, he has equal rights and yes he can go to court and get added to the birth certificate he can also request a name change but that is up to the court to decide who is being unreasonable, you could have easy put the Muslim name as her first name and your name as the middle and yes could have been the out way around to double barrel names are crap

Sorry what?

Why should OP have to bow to his demands?

I can't go into specifics on here but he had gone and tried to sign things and out her on legal documents and when I've gone to do the same I've found the wrong name.

But this is just ridiculous! He is an unmarried father, not on the birth certificate and without custody of the child. There is nothing legal about what he is doing. What on earth do you think these documents are that he is signing? They are utterly unenforceable. He is simply making up the name of a non existent person, basically. There is no birth certificate for a child bearing the name of whatever it is he is 'signing'. And he has no parental rights (currently) over this child.

Block and let him take you to court if he wants.

Let him carry on being his downright bonkers self but cut him off so he isn't bothering you anymore.
He has not one leg to stand on legally.

@frazzledasarock
OP I would stop engaging with this man, but if he takes you to court ensure you have a very good solicitor, as a general rule it’s almost impossible to have a child’s name changed once it’s on the birth certificate.

You're so very wrong.
Surnames are added as middle names and additional surnames frequently. So why is it such a stretch to imagine that this "Muslim name" wouldn't also be?

@BusyLizzie61 I’m speaking from experience regardless of the religion/ethnicity of the name names of children are really hard to get changed through the courts. I know many many women who’ve tried to have their surnames added to their baby’s name but without the fathers permission it’s pretty much impossible.

My DC are planning on changing their names by deed poll when they’re old enough to do so without their fathers permission.

But if he doesn't have the birth certificate to fill in legal forms (and they wouldn't match names!) then surely they are invalid? Just register her at the GP, etc in her legal name.

this is not a religious issue, why is one poster trying to imply it is ?

If he isn't on the birth certificate but DNA has been established, why you entertaining arrangements when he essentially has absolutely 0 parental right? until he files for a court application, either a parental responsibility order or a declaration of parentage why are you letting him get to you? If he is harassing you over matters that don't concern your daughter, cut contact keep a record of everything, if it turns nasty on his behalf all you have to do is simply tell him, I refuse to have this conversation with you directly I will be seeking legal advice on the matter and I would recommend you doing the same all contact will not be responded to unless it's from a legal representative down the correct channels!!

Also to add OP seen a post where you said he has filed for legal documents in her name using the wrong name since you are the sole person with parental responsibility what he has done is broken the law I would honestly report him

OP how are you ?

@WisnaeMe

OP how are you ?

Good thank you for asking. A lot of these comments helped me realise that no matter how much I try to compromise with him, he will do what he wants. He doesn't want peace so for the sake of my sanity, I've decided to cease communication. I also went to the police station yesterday to report him as he's been threatening me and my hope is that I'll be able to get something in place legally, where he won't be able to contact me directly.

that's good OP, there is a lot of knowledge on here, experienced and informative people.

So glad you're taking positive steps to take back control of your life. Remember to record everything, no matter how small. It'll be easier for recalling events should you need them later.