Breastfeeding in public

[Noona86]

I have a nearly 5 week old and obviously have been mostly house bound apart from the occasional very short walk after having a c section. Yesterday I met another new mum friend and despite having timed leaving the house after a mega feed and assuming the baby would be ok for an hour, she went absolutely mad half way through our walk and was screaming and going bright red in a way I’ve never seen before! We were a good 15 mins from home and in the end I broke the rules and fed her in my friend’s garden on the way back as I was so anxious due to her screeching and I felt somehow scared to just sit on a bench alone in public with her. It made me think though, as a totally new mum who hasn’t had any ‘chances’ or need to breastfeed in public, do people basically just feed on demand wherever they are, be it a bench, at a table in a restaurant, in the doctors waiting room, at the bus stop?! Are there are places it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’? I’d hope the case was no, but it’s all so new to me I don’t want to face any awkward scenarios - it all seems very daunting/exposing! I just can’t imagine being somewhere with a hungry screaming baby and having to wait to get home/ find a ‘suitable’ spot once things start to open up again.

I fed mine in public places if I had to but I did try to be discreet about it. I always used a top that hitched up to tuck the baby underneath it for example, rather than a button down top that exposed a lot of me.
I also had a big lightweight shawl that was useful.

Hi OP :)

Yes absolutely, it's fine to feed out and about wherever you are. I found people didn't actually bat an eye and lots made supportive comments if they said anything at all.

The only place I didn't like feeding was outdoors when it's really cold, but sometimes you don't have much choice. It does get easier to avoid that scenario when they get a bit bigger and go longer between feeds. But it will be warmer by then anyway.

I have fed mine out and about until 2 years old and honestly never had a problem.

I fed wherever the baby needed feeding (doctors surgeries, cafes, park benches, wherever!) and gained in confidence after the first few times. I used a scarf to cover up a bit, but that was just my preference. Good luck with it, it gets easier (at least it did for me).

Most awkward place I've fed is on a moving bus. Mainly awkward because he fell asleep and was a giant 1yo by that point so it was hard to get him comfortable back into the sling.

Fine to feed anywhere it's safe to sit and stop if you need to stop. Wouldn't advise stairwells or somewhere that would cause an obstruction! "Discrete" feeding hoodies with zips are good for outside on benches if it's not very warm. My winter newborn had me buying a lot more feeding specific clothes than my summer one! Hill top feed was better than the nappy change that preceded it.

Done lots of feeds in the car park - top tip if you get in the back to feed make sure that you haven't put the child locks on. I did not enjoy scrambling into the front seat to get out 3 weeks post birth!

Passenger seat is definitely preferable to driver's seat but either is possible - obviously with car switched off and parked safely.

If you can master sling feeding once they've got some head control that is very convenient as you don't have to find somewhere to stop walking.

The only place I felt slightly awkward was in church - I would just go and find a seat in one of the halls rather than in the actual service. But yes, I think I fed everywhere else. You soon get very used to doing it discretely, most people don't even notice you are doing it.

THe one time I hit trouble was on a long car journey. I decided it would be easier to feed in the back seats. Got in, fed baby, changed him, got him back in his seat and was ready to continue the trip. It was then I realised we had put the child locks on and I couldn't get out of the car After some very ungainly clambering I did manage to get into the front of the car!

Yep hungry babies don’t wait. It’s your legal right to breast feed your baby where were you are legally allowed to take your baby - with exceptions for health and safety like you can’t take baby out of the car seat in a moving vehicle.

I have big boobs and for months I would only feed DD2 in rugby hold.it definitely gets easier the more you feed out and about.

@randomsabreuse Cross post! Glad I am not alone though

Anywhere and everywhere. Recent lockdown highlight was stood up in the garden centre. And whilst walking home (husband had pram). I just walked and fed. People genuinely don’t notice if you have a vest that you pull down and a top you pull up, baby’s big head is in the way anyway!

I felt the same as above poster about church. I went and sat in the car to feed once. Park bench is fine, doctors waiting room fine, cafe obviously fine. Church is probably the only place I can think of when I was breastfeeding that I just felt awkward. Although I'm sure the priests/vicars really wouldn't mind, it was just me.

Ah thanks so much for all your super speedy responses and great to hear it’s doable (and legal!) wherever necessary. I guess it just takes practise and seems daunting at the moment as I’ve had so little of it! You just hear horror stories about people being negative so I’m pleased people haven’t encountered that. Just had a vision of someone telling me off for not knowing the protocol. But I guess keeping your child fed is more important than some stranger’s negativity anyway. Will look into warmer feeding tops as well and remember about the child lock warning!

Yes, you can feed anywhere. I fed both of mine anywhere and everywhere I could sit down. Cafe, doctors, sat on a wall or on the grass under a tree. Passenger seat of the car as PP said. (PARKED car!)

I generally preferred to find a cafe and have a drink if I could, which is of course harder right now, but I've plonked myself down on the ground outside many times.

When the weather gets a teeny bit nicer, a really good way to practice is just going and having out in a park or similar outside space. You can be a reasonable distance away from people and get nice and comfy, and just get a bit more used to getting your boobs out in non-home contexts.

Ps. I've fed two babies to age 2 and beyond and never had a negative comment. However, I've had lots of elderly ladies come up to gush over my baby, tell me how lovely it is to see someone feeding and tell me their fond memories of feeding theirs :)

I have fed in quite a few churches - no comments except some very positive attention/offers to bring a drink if I wanted. Churches included Anglican cathedrals plus various normal C of E and Congregational churches.

You're legally entitled to breastfeed your child wherever you need to, nobody can tell you to stop breastfeeding somewhere. You get used to doing it, if you have a carrier that you can feed in that's very handy because you walk and feed easily when they're little, or sit somewhere odd/random without doing it really awkwardly!

@Seeline I'm very glad not to be alone there too!

Honestly the only time I encountered any negativity breastfeeding was from my MIL and that was in the comfort of my own home! It does take a bit of getting used to, definitely, but the more you do it the more you’ll feel comfortable, and the more people do it the more it becomes normalised. My friend once BF her DS in the queue for a bus! I was so impressed.

Yes. I fed anywhere and everywhere. Except public toilets. Which random strangers will try and tell you to use. But it’s disgusting. I would eat in a public toilet so why should my baby?

I did find, however as they got to 3 months and older, they could be easily distracted while feeding and sometimes it was useless to try and feed say at a family banquet or a noisy restaurant or park...so I’d go and feed them in my car...feeding often leads to a dirty nappy anyway and the car was well stocked for a nappy change.

I did nappy change them anywhere if feeding in public too (unless there was a public toilet nearby with a nappy changing station...these were rare when I was a new mum). You can usually find a corner bit of floor space or bench to put their changing mat down and do a quick nappy change. So long as you have a portable, roll up mat you put under them, most people don’t bat an eye because the baby and their nappy never touch the surface. Booth Seats in restaurants were perfect too.

Jesus was breastfed :) it should be absolutely fine to breastfeed in church. Even religions where modest dress is a factor consider breastfeeding to be allowed because babies need feeding.

I breastfeed anywhere and everywhere - still do if needed. (although much less often as he is 3 and doesn't often ask when we are out unless tired or if he's had a bump).

When my DS was a baby, I'd walk and feed him - no one bats an eye and so what if they do. It's perfectly naturally . You've got this!

*ooops would NOT eat in a public toilet ....

I once fed DD2 in her carrier while chasing after toddler DD1 in the water park. I don't advise that... (Neither child was particularly patient... DD2 would not release once clamped on and I couldn't let DD1 run off!)

Feeding becomes easier with practice. I personally liked having a cardigan to wrap round us. It must be a lot harder at the moment with cafes and big shops (John Lewis feeding rooms were lovely) There might be the odd person who makes you feel uncomfortable, but most people pay no attention whatsoever.

Only place I disliked feeding was on a train unless I had DH or DM there (so no one day next to me)

Yes of course to feeding anywhere, but the previous poster who was changing a nappy anywhere is disgusting. On a booth in a restaurant? Seriously?

I’ve fed my children for a total of 40 months and only ever had positive comments... mostly people don’t notice at all! I’ve fed in quite a few ridiculous places along the way including on the back of a tractor, backstage at a school concert, and while giving a presentation to a women’s group at church!! As PP have suggested, take it slowly and build your confidence but as baby gets a bit bigger they latch on so so quickly and easily you barely feel exposed at all... you’ll soon be a pro! Congratulations on little one.