Breastfeeding in public

[Noona86]

I have a nearly 5 week old and obviously have been mostly house bound apart from the occasional very short walk after having a c section. Yesterday I met another new mum friend and despite having timed leaving the house after a mega feed and assuming the baby would be ok for an hour, she went absolutely mad half way through our walk and was screaming and going bright red in a way I’ve never seen before! We were a good 15 mins from home and in the end I broke the rules and fed her in my friend’s garden on the way back as I was so anxious due to her screeching and I felt somehow scared to just sit on a bench alone in public with her. It made me think though, as a totally new mum who hasn’t had any ‘chances’ or need to breastfeed in public, do people basically just feed on demand wherever they are, be it a bench, at a table in a restaurant, in the doctors waiting room, at the bus stop?! Are there are places it’s deemed ‘inappropriate’? I’d hope the case was no, but it’s all so new to me I don’t want to face any awkward scenarios - it all seems very daunting/exposing! I just can’t imagine being somewhere with a hungry screaming baby and having to wait to get home/ find a ‘suitable’ spot once things start to open up again.

Mine unstated he was fed as we signed his birth up at the registry office - so that was me initiated

Registrar seemed to think perfectly acceptable I was a bit 🥺😱 but baby cries help you prioritise and so just got on with it.

I have 3 DC, I’ve fed babies anywhere they needed, including on the side of a rugby pitch, standing up, cheering.

I’m now on baby 3, and I have to say that I’ve found it to be such a pain with nowhere open. There are no opportunities now to sit down and feed in the warmth, apart from at home.

Obviously with 2 older children I spend a lot of time in parks/forests etc and it’s just so cold recently stripping off to feed (usually in a sling so I have to take off the coat to get it off), so I can completely understand OPs queries!

And yes PP who changes nappies in restaurants, not cool!

Can recommend the maternity camisoles from H and M if you want to always have discrete clothing on - tbh I got them less because I was worried about exposing myself, more because I didn't like my stomach getting cold when I pulled my top up. Now wear one every day under whatever top and no-one can see anything (apart from that one time I fed at an outdoor restaurant table and only realised after that there was a table full of people about 3 inches away from my boob, the other side of the big plate glass window )

I absolutely hated both bf and bf in public, but yes I did it anywhere, I was covered with muslin cloths or other things as I'm a private person and don't want my body on display
Don't fret just do what you need to do.

Feed anywhere you need to! I've literally just fed DS in the shoe department of M&S (the one place in lockdown I could think of that would have a seat!). I fed DD in church at her christening, in fields, on park benches...I've never had a negative reaction from anyone.

I feed anywhere. I'd feed in church, too. I tend to do the one up, one down thing so people hardly notice.

Most awkward was feeding and walking at the same time. Had to be done.

I’ve fed her before and people have commented saying they didn’t even realise there was a baby there when I took her off

Feed wherever you like! I was in a very fancy restaurant with my parents for their significant birthday and Dad said 'you can't feed her here!!' He was informed of my legal rights . Perhaps he would have preferred a screaming baby in there!

My DD got so upset at her 1yo jabs that I latched her on straight after, still in the room while the nurse was still documenting in the red book.
Turns out he didn’t take very long and I was awkwardly there with her starting to settle having a feed, so I kept her latched, put the red book in the pram and used my other had to manoeuvre the pushchair out of his room into the waiting room, then sat down, all without her unlatching
She’s 98th febrile so I was quite proud of my wrangling.
I feed in church but that seems quite common at the (catholic) churches I’ve been to. I which I’d got the hang of feeding while in a sling much sooner, that was great for walking home from nursery.

Thanks everyone for your comments, am enthused to hear that by the sounds of it breastfeeding is doable pretty much anywhere and with only the very rare negative comment. Might set myself a challenge to find the weirdest places to breastfeed! Thanks too for tips re practice and clothes etc and general encouragement! Interestingly, one of the thoughts which prompted my asking was ‘I so rarely clock people breastfeeding in public (in ‘normal’ times), are they all doing it behind closed doors?’ But actually it must be that they’re around but like many have said, it’s not really even that noticeable!

I would feed and have fed in a church too, btw. I don't think there's any intrinsic reason to think that's "inappropriate" and as PP say sometimes it's a handy safe dry place to sit. Jesus was breastfed and most churches encourage breastfeeding there as and when needed. If I'm at a wedding or something I sometimes slipped into the pews at the back just so I had more space.

I also second H&M nursing vests which come in multipacks and make a fine base for pretty much any outfit.

I also breastfed straight after all my jabs and any medical procedure baby didn't like, which calmed and settled them straight away. Medical professionals always happy to see that and certainly much prefer it to baby screaming head off

I have fed DS everywhere including car park, cafes, benches, restaurants, airport queue, in the car with DH driving, winter wonderland, the zoo and changing rooms in Zara. I used a long muslin sheet to cover where I tied a knot on two top edges and just popped my head through it where it covered my whole front. You get used to it. When I was at home for the first few weeks I used to dread going out for this reason and used to express milk but as I saw loads of mothers Bf, I felt more confident overtime. I had a high needs baby where there was no que where he would be ok
one second and scream.

Wouldn't feed while baby is actually having jabs - I made the mistake of feeding while trying to get bloods from 6 mo (desperation) and was very glad he didn't have any teeth because he clamped really hard! Straight after fine!

IIRC there's a group on Facebook called Come Nurse With Me where you can find people in your area who BF and arrange to meet up with them to help build your confidence BFing in public together. (Blah blah in accordance with all social distanceblah.)

The first time i tried, I tried to be discreet and cover us with a muslin etc but it actually just made it harder, more things to fumble with.

Another reason you won't have noticed it much before is that you were on a different schedule! If you were in an office 9-5, you won't have been in many places that breastfeeding women would be.

Hi OP!

Absolutely feed anywhere, anytime your baby needs to. You are protected by the law!

For what it’s worth, no one in real life cares if you breastfeed in public. I’ve never had an issue and if they dared say something to me I would have shot them down right away.

I remember feeling so self conscious when I first had DD and now I really regret that! I think the media has made it so difficult for new Mums to feel comfortable.

Be discreet if you like but you don’t have to be. Your priority is you and your baby- you are not answerable to anyone else.I find two tops works best- don’t bother messing about with a muslin!

Absolutely feed anywhere. I think generally people don't really notice or if they do the reaction is normally positive.
I felt more self conscious bottle feeding (either expressed milk or formula) because I felt people were judging me for not breast feeding. I imagine this was more in my head and down to my own insecurities.

Also have had to feed at a family funeral before and didn’t think twice about it. Much better than having to leave or deal with a crying baby and no one even noticed.

The only times I've ever had someone pay any attention to me breastfeeding DD was to offer bringing me a coffee (in a cafe) and to congratulate me on breastfeeding my baby (on a park bench). Otherwise nobody really noticed or cared. I started off being a little awkward - shawl and so on - but ended up just popping her on whenever she was hungry. I wore layers and it just looked like i was holding her. Boobs are fairly small though.

DDis 13 months and no longer BF, but during lockdown I’d plan walks to places with a bench/wall to sit on. Even if she wasn’t grumbling I’d stop and offer to reduce risk of meltdown on way back.

I did feel vulnerable - the first lockdown was quite creepy. So I’d go to busier places and sort of park the pram in front of me and cover up with a blanket. Anyone who did acknowledge was usually older ladies with a smile. Never had any negativity.

It’s really difficult to get out with a baby during lockdown when there are limited sitting/changing facilities. Not to mention no loos for a new mum. You have my sympathies op, it’s not a normal time to get used to these things!

I breast fed everywhere including the tube at rush hour.

The most memorable though was when I had to go into Soho at lunchtime with DD she was howling loudly so I nipped into a Starbucks, everyone was working on their laptops, I whipped out my boob but DD was fussing a bit and breast milk sprayed all over this girl's laptop. It was a bit awkward.

Also I agree I would feel more self conscious giving formula!

I’m due twins in the summer and I don’t know if I will be able to breastfeed two. I feel quite worried about the prospect of taking a bottle of formula out with me . I doubt anyone cares but I’d be so worried they are judging.

Could be a bottle of expressed breast milk @Littlegirlplustwo nobody would know once it’s made up.

Like others I also fed anywhere and everywhere I needed to.
If people have an issue then it says a lot about their worldview.