how old are your kids and are they front or rear facing in their car seats?

[hohohobitches]

just that

2.5years and rear facing.

Funnily enough I did my own research, and then spoke to a guy in my largest local Halfords who insisted I should RF my child as long as possible.

[quote Megan2018]@SharpLily For me a lot of it depends on the safety features of your car. I’m keeping DD RF to 18kg and she’s not big so will probably be nearer 4 than 3. But we drive EV’s that are almost impossible to crash with all of the tech and have so many safety features. If I had an old banger I’d feel differently.
I wouldn’t FF before 3 but I’m not obsessed about RF 3-4.[/quote]
Thank you for answering and I understand your point of view. The only point I would make is that I'm not particularly worried about crashing either, but I can't control how other people drive...

It's particularly to the forefront of my mind today because I've just had to book appointments for my parents (in the 70s) to renew their driving licences. My father is not safe to drive but thinks he is so I have arranged with the test centre for them to fail him, even if he concentrates really hard and manages to pass by official numbers.

They were happy to agree to this because the tester said she sees many older men in particular who cannot accept their test failure and keep driving anyway, even without a licence. People are, unfortunately, deeply irresponsible and this concerns me.

[quote scottish83]@SharpLily the specialists at Mothercare said our child could sit facing forward from 15 months and this was based on government guidance/law. In the end we waited til around 18 months. We aren't safety experts so we do usually defer to Government guidance which we presume is based on safety research.

If there is evidence which shows that the 15 month rule is inappropriate then you are probably correct to be horrified that the official rules are not fit for purpose.

If you have any useful links then I'd love to read them. We have a newborn who will be rear facing for the foreseeable future but would be great to keep him as safe as possible as he gets older. [/quote]
@scottish83 I think other posters have covered most of what I would want to say and have provided the links.

Unfortunately government guidance does fall dramatically short in this case, going against huge amounts of evidence. You will find that pretty much every car safety organisation in the whole world disagrees with government policy on this and fortunately European governments at least are now starting to pay attention and many are preparing phased transitions to laws stipulating rear facing to a much higher age than currently in place.

3yo - Forward facing.

For those on this thread who turned their kids forward facing at 1-2-3, I'm interested to know if you understand why some of us are horrified by that and how do you feel about it?

Yes I understand why some people are horrified by it. I don't feel anything about it, unless they are my client, when I will see it as a symptom of a bigger issue.

DS is 20 months and RF in my car, and will be until he outgrows the seat which will hopefully be about four, providing he slows down a bit.

His seat for his dad's car isn't RF but he won't be in that much until he's three (it was bought early simply so we had one in the car in case of need) and he's so long in the back it's difficult to find or fit an RF seat that could accommodate him for any length of time past that anyway.

@MeadowHay sorry, just to let you know, the joie only rear faces and forward faces to 18kg with a harness, then you have to use the adult seat belt. I didn’t know if you meant 18 or 25kg.

@Amrythings
"he's so long in the back it's difficult to find or fit an RF seat that could accommodate him for any length of time past that anyway."
The tallest one is the Klippan Century and you could also consider the Axkid Minikid/Move, all good seats for tall children with long torsos.
The ICSC or other car seat specialist could advise.

3 years and 8 months old DD - RF in Britax Max Way Plus
7 month old DS - RF in Maxi Cosi Pebble Plus

When the baby outgrows the infant carrier he’ll go into DD’s old 2way Pearl and then he’ll have the Britax.

We’ve got an Every Stages for my parents but now DD is over 18kg she can’t RF in it any more so we’re going to buy a spare set of tethers for their car when they have her when I’m back at work. Then DS will RF in the Every Stages.

We went to the In Car Safety Centre in Milton Keynes and they were brilliant, helped us find something that would fit behind my 6’3” tall husband in our Qashqai which was no mean feat.

I’m afraid I do judge people who FF their kids when they’re too young to do so safely. I think it’s bad parenting and more education is needed. DD is the only one at nursery who is still RF and there are even children in the baby class who are FF which gives me the chills. I also judge parents who buy seats that are minimally tested like the Nania ones or the horrific Disney/Frozen/Marvel character ones. Sadly our government isn’t the best at looking out for people - alcohol and cigarettes cause harm and they’re still sold. Same for shit car seats/cot bumpers/all sorts of unsafe baby paraphernalia.

Mine is nearly 4 and RF. I'll do it so long as she will still fit as I can't unsee what I've read of the risks. If she'd continued to kick off in the car as she did when younger I may have had to do a risk assessment though.

She's also diddy - the 9th percentile. So really she's more like a 3-year-old size. She still seems so delicate!!

@SharpLily The Tesla helps account for other people’s poor driving too- it just won’t let another car drive in to it head on-it will brake, move lanes etc to actively avoid collision even if the driver doesn’t take action. It’s got full driverless tech in it. Our second EV (Kia) not quite as clever but still has anti collision software so again very difficult to head on crash as it detects the other car and takes action.
A rear end is still possible in either but that’s not the issue with FF seats-it’s the tiny number of (but much more devastating) head on.
So they are much safer vehicles for any child to be in, in any car seat.
But that said we will still RF to 18kg and that should be 4 or close to in our case as DD isn’t big.
I do think FF seats shouldn’t be sold below 18kg, and hopefully the tech might improve for the 25kg seats so they fit in more cars and with isofix, especially if you have a very tall parent like DH to accommodate. In car safety centre drew a blank for us unfortunately as there are fewer seats that are tested in EVs yet.

[quote Megan2018]@SharpLily The Tesla helps account for other people’s poor driving too- it just won’t let another car drive in to it head on-it will brake, move lanes etc to actively avoid collision even if the driver doesn’t take action. It’s got full driverless tech in it. Our second EV (Kia) not quite as clever but still has anti collision software so again very difficult to head on crash as it detects the other car and takes action.
A rear end is still possible in either but that’s not the issue with FF seats-it’s the tiny number of (but much more devastating) head on.
So they are much safer vehicles for any child to be in, in any car seat.
But that said we will still RF to 18kg and that should be 4 or close to in our case as DD isn’t big.
I do think FF seats shouldn’t be sold below 18kg, and hopefully the tech might improve for the 25kg seats so they fit in more cars and with isofix, especially if you have a very tall parent like DH to accommodate. In car safety centre drew a blank for us unfortunately as there are fewer seats that are tested in EVs yet.[/quote]
You can get one rear facing car seat with isofix till 23kg and 125cm tall the Axkid One. It's a new seat so is £600 but has lots of leg room options to suit different cars.

Yes @Lavender2021 I’m aware of that one (although it’s not tested in either of our cars), my point was that hopefully there will be more to market in future.

3 and 0, both rear facing

3 year old loves rf seat! It's a spin too

15 months and forward facing.

She would scream and scream rear facing and the last time for us was when I looked in the rear view into her mirror and she was blue from a breath holding hysterics and looked dead in the face but also struggling, I almost put my car in a hedge in a panic.

Rear facing is safer for as long as possible of course, however all car seat have to undergo safety tests and if they didn’t pass it wouldn’t be legal to have them forward facing from 9kg surely.

@LifesLittleDeciders

15 months and forward facing.

She would scream and scream rear facing and the last time for us was when I looked in the rear view into her mirror and she was blue from a breath holding hysterics and looked dead in the face but also struggling, I almost put my car in a hedge in a panic.

Rear facing is safer for as long as possible of course, however all car seat have to undergo safety tests and if they didn’t pass it wouldn’t be legal to have them forward facing from 9kg surely.

There are levels of safety. The legal minimum is not good enough for me when I know there are better options.

The argument often used however is that smoking and drinking are legal and arguably neither are particularly safe.

@Megan2018 I know how safe EVs can be but they still cannot mitigate everything. Your points are all good but I cannot put that much faith in an EV as a safety device in itself.

DC1 used to scream in the infant seat but was much happier when we moved him to a group 1 (18kg) seat, still rear-facing, as it was more upright. It turned out he had silent reflux which was why he was uncomfortable in the infant seat. So I do wonder whether the babies that allegedly hate rear facing just hate the infant seat and might be happier rear facing in the next one.

We have mirrors so the driver can see the DC and vice versa.

@SharpLily and I haven’t downsized the fact that rear facing is safer, I know it is- but it doesn’t work for us.

Like breast is best - but not everyone has a successful experience with it.

I’d rather see a parent make their own informed decision and be happy rather than be beat down and made to feel like they’re not doing enough for their children. Parents never win.

DD is 3 this month and RF. I would like to keep her rear facing until she’s 4 but she’s big for her age and I think she’ll hit the RF weight limit before then.

@riotlady

DD is 3 this month and RF. I would like to keep her rear facing until she’s 4 but she’s big for her age and I think she’ll hit the RF weight limit before then.

The rear facing weight limit is 25kg so unless she has health issues she should have a while yet.

[quote LifesLittleDeciders]@SharpLily and I haven’t downsized the fact that rear facing is safer, I know it is- but it doesn’t work for us.

Like breast is best - but not everyone has a successful experience with it.

I’d rather see a parent make their own informed decision and be happy rather than be beat down and made to feel like they’re not doing enough for their children. Parents never win.[/quote]
Not breastfeeding a child won’t kill them (provided you give them formula) whereas buying a shitty unsafe car seat could well kill them. You’ve not made a fair comparison.

2.5 RF will RF until at least 4/5

11 and 9. Both are 132cm tall (the 11 year old is v small for their age!). Both are still in high back boosters much to their disgust.

DS is 2 year 7 months and RF in his Joie Every stage, I have a tiny car so will RF for as long as I can but I suspect I will start to struggle getting him in soon but will keep going for now.

@HairboStrawb

DS is 2 year 7 months and RF in his Joie Every stage, I have a tiny car so will RF for as long as I can but I suspect I will start to struggle getting him in soon but will keep going for now.

My DD is 3 and RF in a Joie everystage (seatbelt secured not isofix) and she climbs in by herself under the seatbelt, climbing out is a little trickier but she is getting there with some encouragement.

20 month old has been forward facing for a few months, we have a 360 though so will rear face for longer/motorway journeys.