Would you spend one night away from your 9mo?

[MadamRosmerta]

My best friend's wedding has been rearranged for later this year, and so the hen party is being discussed at the moment. At the moment I have a 4 month old DS, and by then he will be 9 months old. I'm EBF at the moment. My question to you is, when your babies were 9mo, would you have been happy leaving them for one night? My DH would be looking after him, but I just worry that even with some expressed milk to hand he won't settle properly and it will just be a traumatic night for both of them. Has anyone done this before?

For what it's worth, the place we would be staying is about 45 minutes away from where I live, so I could come home in the evening if I wanted to. I would like to stay if it would work, firstly because I think we could all do with a break, and secondly because I want to be able to do it for her after a shit year of having to postpone it three times. But obviously my DS does, and always will, come first.

WWYD?

It's a long time ago but I'm pretty sure I did! Go enjoy yourself and I'm sure your DH will be just fine!

I definitely did, at a bit younger than that. But DD took to a bottle of expressed milk very well beforehand and DH didn’t have any issues at all with her settling.
Maybe make a decision closer to the time based on how well he takes a bottle (unless you know already that he’s fine with them).

Definitely if it is only 45 minutes away. I doubt the baby will be unsettled but if they are its one night. Go and enjoy the wedding.

Yeah I absolutely would have done. I think maybe I did with one of them but can't remember now!

When I own was 9mo I left her for 1 hour for the first time. She absolutely refused all alternate sources of milk delivery up until that point and finally finding a cup she would begrudgingly use was a miracle. No chance I could have safely left her for a full night. She would not have eaten enough.

Yes we left our son when he was nearly 4 months old. Wasn't worried at all and I didn't find it difficult at all
(I don't understand or know why anyone would find it hard)

Yes!!! Go enjoy and have fun!!

I did and my boobs were a bit sore so if still feeding take a pump.!

DC1 no. DC3 yes. That tells you all you need to know!

Go and enjoy yourself! DS will be fine with his dad.

My husband sent me for a spa hotel stay for 48hrs and he stayed home and looked after the baby. DS was maybe 9 months old. It was so good. These opportunities dont come along that often. Definitely do it.

Oh God yeah, I went away from DD at about that age when work offered me an overnight trip!

I did and the fire alarm at the hotel went off at 2a.m.! Better luck OP.

Happy?! Delighted more like. I had to have an operation when he was 6 months old and the best thing about it was that I spent a night in hospital. I wanted to weep when they said I was well enough to go home the next day. He was a colicky CMPA non-sleeper though.

No, i wouldn't have felt ready at that point. I didn't leave dd1 until 18 months and haven't left dd2 yet - covid aside I still don't feel ready. I don't think any age is right/wrong, just depends on how you feel.

No I wouldn’t but my EBF daughter never took an expressed bottle no matter how many different types we tried. First time I left her she was 18 months old and I had no choice as was in hospital. She refused to sleep and was up to 3am with my DH.

My DS might have been easier to leave but I still think he would have struggled.

Yes I went on a hen when DS was 8 months. He was EBF, but did take expressed milk in a bottle by that point. I was a bit nervous about not being there but he was fine, DH loved having the time alone with him and I had a great time! It was so good to have some time with friends and not have to think about anything else. I started stocking up of expressed milk at home really early so I was confident there was enough, and while I was there I had to pump a few times.

Mine would not have taken kindly to me taking my boobs with me. (Although I guess if there were some way for me to detach them and hang them up like hamster-cage water dispensers then he'd have been okay with it...)

I wouldn't have done it. Mine were both bottle refuses having night feeds and I would have been too concerned to properly enjoy it. But you can work towards it if you want to.

Yes of course, I would have hated to think that my DH couldn't look after his own child.
I never wanted my DS to be over dependent on me either, anything could happen - I could have died or been hospitalised etc. Surely it's not healthy to think your DC can't be happy without you? I mix fed so that DS was never dependent on only breast milk.

I wouldn't have done but each to their own. You know your baby.
There is no right answer though, don't let people make you feel bad if you stay at home.

I had a bottle refuser but by 9m would have porridge and a beaker of water if I wasn't there. Even better if there were fruit pouches, petit filous, raisins or chocolate buttons 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fuck yes. DS was 2 months old when I had my first night away.

Eta: I would miss them more now they are a little older than I did as a baby, as a baby the slog was relentless (for me).

Gladly

Yeah, our DS has stayed with nanny twice (4m and 6m) both times was on expressed milk.