Would you spend one night away from your 9mo?

[MadamRosmerta]

My best friend's wedding has been rearranged for later this year, and so the hen party is being discussed at the moment. At the moment I have a 4 month old DS, and by then he will be 9 months old. I'm EBF at the moment. My question to you is, when your babies were 9mo, would you have been happy leaving them for one night? My DH would be looking after him, but I just worry that even with some expressed milk to hand he won't settle properly and it will just be a traumatic night for both of them. Has anyone done this before?

For what it's worth, the place we would be staying is about 45 minutes away from where I live, so I could come home in the evening if I wanted to. I would like to stay if it would work, firstly because I think we could all do with a break, and secondly because I want to be able to do it for her after a shit year of having to postpone it three times. But obviously my DS does, and always will, come first.

WWYD?

I was quite happy to spend a night away from mine once they were about 8 weeks old.

I EBF too.

I wouldn't leave it till 9 months and a wedding for the first night away. Have at least one trial run before hand.

I personally wouldn't have been able to enjoy it as I'd know DS wouldn't settle without the boobs. I did do a couple of nights away (one night at a time) at around 18m in preparation for his baby sister's arrival, and he was fine by that stage.

Go! Enjoy!

It does wonders for you.

Me and my husband (pre Covid) were very lucky to have 1 weekend away with friends child free each year from 7 months old. It was something we really look forward to, reconnect as a couple and little one gets spoilt by grandparents!

Win win

Whatever works for you, there’s no right or wrong.

DD I left for evenings from 4 months ish which is when I stopped bf. I did however always spend the evening missing her and feeling upset. First time away overnight was when she was 2 1/2 and we went to a wedding.... I felt fine leaving her by then.

DS was cosleeping until 11 months and absolutely attached to my boobs until 21 months. He would have absolutely freaked out! He’s 22 months and we’re planning a night away in a few weeks when b&b reopen.

If you feel happy to do it and he’ll take a bottle then great. If you’re not comfortable with it that’s fine too.

Yes, I would have for one night at 9mo - especially if you’re only 45 mins away. Make sure you take a pump though, you don’t want to end up sore and full and risk mastitis

I think my DD was around that age when I first left for a night when we went away for a wedding. I found it quite hard to be away from her but it was nice to have a decent nights sleep without being woken up. It might be worth trying him with a few bottles of EBF beforehand just to get him used to it.

6 weeks and my PFB DS was left with my parents overnight. Lovely night out and a sleep all night afterwards. My mum loved it and DS now 20 cannot remember a thing 😂

I couldn’t have, not at 9 months. My EBF baby didn’t take expressed milk (still doesn’t at 17 months).
I would have been able to go to the wedding for up to 5-6hrs but come home after.

God yes, time you got a night out.

And good for DH and your son to have a lads night in.

I couldn’t have at nine months, I didn’t manage it until he was 3.5 but I was very very ready for it by then. At the other end of the spectrum, my SIL left my niece when she was around 4 weeks old, so it totally depends on how you feel!!

Did with my first (3 nights away at 9 months with work)

Definitely not with my second (bottle refusing lockdown baby).

Yes, dd stayed with my sister overnight at 3 weeks old.
She regularly stayed with my inlaws for the weekend since she was a baby.

The pandemic happened right after DS was born so havent had the opportunity but hell yeah I would have jumped at the chance to leave him at 9 months

No, I didn’t leave mine til they were over 1.
EBF and my second child fed all night every night. But if you’re not too far away and you can come home then maybe try it

Absolutely (as long as they are with someone they love and you trust, obviously)

When my DS was about a year old I went away for 6 nights...I had a marvellous holiday and he had a lovely time with my dm (and wasn't at all fussed when I walked back through the door!)

If you wanted to, I absolutely would, your DH should be able to manage his kid for one night, although you will obviously need to sort out feeding, as in getting baby to take bottle of your milk..
Go and enjoy it, it's only 45 mins away,

I would have done if I could, but my EBF DD had never been away from me, would only settle for me, still fed often and woke in the night, and wouldn’t take a bottle.

In the end my first night away from
DD was at 15 months - by then she was at nursery a few days a week, didn’t feed as often and would oat milk drink from a sippy cup. I had to pump for comfort before bed and in the morning as the boobs were agony!

If they will take a bottle and settle without you then go for it.

I wouldn't have. I think the right thing to do is what you're comfortable with - what your own gut feeling is. It's so individual!

Assuming the feeding wouldn't be an issue, then definitely. I took DD on holiday with me and my family for 7 nights when she was 8.5m old and none of us worried about her being away from DH for that time. I wasn't breastfeeding though of course, so I don't know whether feeding would be an issue here or not.

Yes, left DD for a night when she was 3 months, although she was FF. I cried when we left her but it was really good for me in the end

I did, for different reasons and he was about the same age.

What stuck with me is, is there a better time to do it the first time? So for example he’ll be with DH, you’re not far away, you think he’ll settle and can always come home etc.

I didn’t want the first time to be somewhere I couldn’t come back to him if he needed me, miles away or anything.

He was fine. I didn’t sleep and couldn’t wait to get back. He has since stayed out 3 more times with GPS and every time has been fine and me more relaxed

God yes. I went to a work event where I was up for an award when mine was 6 months.

Went away, had a brilliant night. I love being a mother but I'm so much more than that.

Your baby will be fine.

I left my ds at roughly that age and he was breastfed. It was for a hen do abroad but I was gone for just 27 hours!
Take a decent breast pump as it was horrific trying to hand express in a nightclub toilet and my boobs were so painful by the time I got back to him!
He was fine, dh went to stay at my mum and dad's house and my mum settled the baby during the night, dh was happy!!

I didn’t leave either of mine until they were 18mo+ but they were boob-dependent, co-non-sleeping horrors. I could never have enjoyed myself because I was still getting no more than two hour blocks of sleep at night while working full time during the day. The thought of going to an evening wedding would have just made me cry with exhaustion and, if I’d stayed upright, crippled with the guilt and anxiety of knowing there was a screaming baby (plus a toddler second time around) at home.

But, Jesus, if your baby will settle for your DH and none of these things are an issue for you then go for it.

It completely depends on the baby. My first was ff and I went away for 2 nights when she was 9 months (and to Australia for 2 weeks when she was 16 months). All completely fine.

My ebf one, no, at 9 months I wouldn’t have been able to leave him overnight as he wouldn’t take a bottle. But Dh and I did take him to a wedding around then and we still stayed til 10pm and he slept in the sling and it was great.