Alternative to birthday candles for a 4 year old?

[ringydinghy]

Hi all. DS has his 4th birthday coming up in the next two weeks and we will be having a small celebration at home. We have ideas for his presents, special party games to play at home but I'm in a little dilemma when it comes to cake. Since the COVID pandemic, we have decided as a family to stop blowing out candles on birthday cakes, as I'm sure many other families have as well. The idea of dripping wax and spitting on a cake to be shared has always made me feel a bit uncomfortable. So we threw out all the birthday candles in the house. But I am now unsure what to do now when it comes to the cake and singing happy birthday part.

I have seen people suggest putting the candles on a cupcake, or on the birthday boy/girl's slice of cake, but I'd rather just do away with the candles thing altogether and let DS see his big special cake while we sing to him.

I was thinking sparklers but I was unsure whether they'd scare DS..and besides I think giving him a little special something to do after the happy birthday song would be nice (if he was older we'd let him cut his own cake). Any other suggestions? Or should we just sing happy birthday and go straight to cake cutting and eating

Tbh, if you and your 4yo give each other kisses and cuddles each day, I really don’t think blowing out candles is really going to make much difference to you catching or not catching anything. I feel that a 4yo’s birthday cake should definitely have candles and if you’re dead-set against blowing them out, use a hair dryer!

Could you pull party poppers at the end of the song and cheer? Just thinking that we cheer when the candles are blown out so it’s a way of keeping that up.
Obviously it’s your choice about the candles but my DD is due to turn 4 soon and she’d be quite upset at not being able to blow candles out as she knows that’s one of things you do on a birthday; as only the people in your household will be sharing the cake I don’t really see the issue but if you really don’t want to do candles then I’d prepare him for it

@user1493413286

Could you pull party poppers at the end of the song and cheer? Just thinking that we cheer when the candles are blown out so it’s a way of keeping that up. Obviously it’s your choice about the candles but my DD is due to turn 4 soon and she’d be quite upset at not being able to blow candles out as she knows that’s one of things you do on a birthday; as only the people in your household will be sharing the cake I don’t really see the issue but if you really don’t want to do candles then I’d prepare him for it

I LOVE the sound of party poppers! DS loves things like confetti and snow. A while ago he was making 'snow' out of a polystyrene box and he was in his element ...so that sounds like a perfect idea!

We were thinking of getting him a very big party popper and after the song, ask him to make a wish before he sets off this popper (with help, of course!) Then after he sets that off, the rest of us all cheer and set off some of the little party poppers.

Just spoke to DS about his birthday cake (he's naturally very excited) and tried to tell him we would be doing party poppers instead of candles...and he insists he wants BOTH!
So looks like as well as the party poppers I'll have to pick a number 4 candle up and just grin and bear it for this year

You're a family so I don't think it makes a difference whether or not you blow out candles. But if it really freaks you out you could get a tray of cupcakes and just have a number 4 candle on one to blow out. Or candles on them all and everyone gets to blow a candle out of the cake they're going to eat

Are you planning to have people from outside your household at the party OP? Is that why it's bothering you? Because if not i can't see why on earth you're against candles as presumably you don't socially distance with your 4 y o?

I've only ever heard of people being freaked about this on MN. I honestly can't imagine denying my 4 year old candles on their cake. Or any age really. Blowing out them out is special! It's part of the birthday rigmarole.

Then don’t buy a big cake

Buy cup cakes

The big cake is just for show anyway - I swapped to cupcakes and brownies recently for this reason.

Still got a candle on their cakes

I think you’re worrying unnecessarily and don’t know anyone who hasn’t had candles on a family cake. However, if you’re that anxious about it, give him an extra cupcake with candles on, alongside his birthday cake. Problem solved. 😉

One year DS had a nasty tummy bug on his birthday

We made a (very basic) fake cake out of playdough and brought that out with candles, sang happy birthday, blew out the candles then quietly binned it while eating the real (non-spitty) cake

Can you get such a thing as remote control led candles?

Or how about a string of led fairy lights wrapped round the cake?

That way he has twinkling lights but no blowing.

You can also get a plastic happy birthday sign on a plastic stick that goes into the cake and the sign sings happy birthday. I’ve seen them before, no idea what’s it’s called or where to buy though. Google!

If you are kissing and hugging a four year old I don’t think a bit of spit on a cake will make much difference. You are being ridiculous. Surely you will only be having your household there anyway. Candle blowing out controversy only seems to happen on mumsnet, I’ve never heard it in really life!

Cracks me up when people get precious about a tiny child's spit on a birthday cake. Especially their own? WTAF?

Ok I know people think I'm being crazy, but another big reason why I'm reluctant to do candles is when COVID is over and we hopefully have parties again, surely nobody with any memory of COVID will even consider doing candles...I guess at first desperate people will do cupcake candles/sparklers and suchlike but eventually I think people will come to realise, we don't NEED candles on birthdays. So I ideally wanted to prepare DS for the modern way.

If he continues to insist on a candle I will get him one to keep him quiet (it is his birthday after all he's so excited for this) but I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled by the idea.

Lol prepare him for the modern way?

Is this going to involve wearing gloves whenever touching a door handle, masks forevermore and never ever touching a stranger, heaven forbid kissing them?

I'd be more worried about giving him an unhealthy obsession with germs tbh.

In Germany people don’t have their candles on the cake itself, they have a wooden “birthday ring” which either goes around the cake or on the table as a decoration. You can buy them on,one, there are a range of designs from classy natural wood ones to bright coloured rings that come in quarter circle sections so you can add to them as the child grows and have wooden charms and numbers etc to fill up the blank holes while you are waiting.

Prepare him for the modern way?!

Haha. Just give the bairn some candles. We will be having candles on our cakes now and forever.

On,one = online

Here’s an example:
iloverainbo.ws/2013/07/17/wooden-birthday-ring/

I don’t like spit on cake but it’s bugger all to do with Covid. I would just not have a slice as it’s my issue. Seems a bit rubbish to ban candles altogether, even in a separate cupcake.

I don’t understand how Covid is an issue when you all live in the same house anyway...

You seriously think birthday candles are going to be extinct, yet even your own 4 year old is desperate for them?
The 'modern way' is not going to happen

Just give the bairn some candles. We will be having candles on our cakes now and forever

I disagree.

I think lots of things will change in the future.

This will be one of them.

We had a candle and didn't give it a second thought. DD is full on though, you can't escape getting a big sloppy kiss off her so if one of us gets it we're all going down with it.

@BestZebbie

In Germany people don’t have their candles on the cake itself, they have a wooden “birthday ring” which either goes around the cake or on the table as a decoration. You can buy them on,one, there are a range of designs from classy natural wood ones to bright coloured rings that come in quarter circle sections so you can add to them as the child grows and have wooden charms and numbers etc to fill up the blank holes while you are waiting.

Now this makes more sense!

If we had this ring we can put it on the dining table, light the candles sing happy birthday, and leave them lit throughout the day (monitored of course). I presume you let the candles melt down and burn out on their own? Or put them out with a snuffer at the end of the day like a regular Yankee candle?

@BluebellsGreenbells

Just give the bairn some candles. We will be having candles on our cakes now and forever

I disagree.

I think lots of things will change in the future.

This will be one of them.

Finally someone who agrees with me!

What do you do with your children on their birthdays as regards to the cake and song?

@BluebellsGreenbells

Just give the bairn some candles. We will be having candles on our cakes now and forever

I disagree.

I think lots of things will change in the future.

This will be one of them.

For every person who thinks things will be different in the future, there's someone else who wants to... I dunno, go lick a stranger's face or whatever.