Nanny sensationally quit

[fancytiles]

Wondering how you would handle this, our nanny we have had for 7 months has just quit out of the blue giving 2 weeks notice (in the contract we have with her, which she drafted, it says she needs to give 8 weeks notice). In total shock and feeling really let down. She said it's a family matter.

My nanny sensationally quit after I asked her if she had seen my diamond ring anywhere, even though it was a well intended question just asking if she had seen it, she thought I was accusing her of stealing and stormed out!

The ring turned up three weeks later, but I never saw her again! She left the country shortly after to work overseas, I always wondered whether working for us had sent her packing

Does that count?

Thank you - that's a decent anecdote, I can get on with my browsing!

Unless there's a massive dripfeed here where you tell us that she rode out on a stallion and set fire to the door on her way out, then I don't think we can say that this nanny has "sensationally quit"

@insancerre

At least she is giving you notice

She can be sued if she doesn't. She has a contract of employment. Rights work both ways.

She's given you 2 weeks notice. Luxury! We had our lovely nanny for 9 years, she had children of her own in that time and my kids were at school, so we got an au pair. She left sensationally - after 4 months of laziness, inappropriate behaviour, and getting increasingly anxious about trying to hide her severe eating disorder, she downed tools one day and refused to look after the kids on the grounds that she wanted to go to running club instead because she'd had to eat carbs because we had no salmon and tender stem broccoli in the house and that was what she liked to eat. I told her she could not go to running club because she was supposed to be working. She spent the next couple of hours with tears streaming down her face, fielding texts from her running club mates about why she couldn't go for a run, whilst begrudgingly helping with the kids, then had her friends turn up to rescue her from me before storming off back to her home country on the next available flight out. You might think I was maybe mean to her, but she was extremely well looked after for very little actual work required. She came from a privileged background and at the age of 24 this was the first time she had ever lived away from home or worked, and it surprised her I think!

Why do some people pretend not to know what a housekeeper is? Are those people just jealous/Marxist? If not, use a dictionary - or Google if dictionaries are passe; you do not know what they are either or you think they are too middle class.

@PeggyHill

Unless there's a massive dripfeed here where you tell us that she rode out on a stallion and set fire to the door on her way out, then I don't think we can say that this nanny has "sensationally quit"

A stallion ridden by OP’s husband, with the nanny riding pillion 😂

Maybe you could post this in legal op otherwise you are going to get everyone’s opinion on daring to employ a nanny and outrage at thinking they might stick to employment terms that they created themselves.
You have already had one poster infer that your Dh sexually harasses her

What are the words in the contract?

Is it a generic 8 week notice period, or does it specify it's on her part?
Contracts may often have different notice periods for employers and employees.

Finally, next time, look up a draft contract online (I'm sure you can find one) and start from there. Don't tell the nanny to draft it.

PS - also disappointed by the lack of sensationality.

You should have put the contract together using the template from nanny tax, makes it all very easy. 4 weeks is standard notice period and all contracts should have symmetrical notice periods. There is nothing you can do about it now other than obviously include it as a statement of fact in any reference you may be asked for. Also, what's with the drama?? I mean I was expecting her to have smashed some plates in a rage and stormed out saying "your kids are spoilt brats, sayonara"!! This is all very disappointing given she seems to just be a regular person 😂

Surely the risk of telling her she has to work her full notice or you'll not give her a reference is that she has nothing to lose and might walk out without giving two weeks notice.

@Swiftjogger

Maybe you could post this in legal op otherwise you are going to get everyone’s opinion on daring to employ a nanny and outrage at thinking they might stick to employment terms that they created themselves. You have already had one poster infer that your Dh sexually harasses her

There’s no point. The OP would be stupid to pursue anything legally against the nanny not working her notice. It would be long winded, expensive and the OP wouldn’t get anything out of it.

Ok so @backinthebox you win for sensationality, closely followed by @Icanseegreenshoots and I wholly apologise for the lack of sensation here 😂 it seems this is a relatively common occurrence and those stories are hilarious this thread has cheered me up (despite the odd sexual harassment accusation).

Thank you so much for everyone who has given constructive advice, I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to have done so xxxx

8 weeks notice is a lot

Sensationally unsensational and borderline peak Mumsnet.

Looks like some folks habe your penchant for drama op. Sue her 😂😂😂

If she’s not wishing to work for you any more, and doesn’t wish to do more than two weeks more, then it’s best to accept it. Yes you can chase her through the courts, or ask her to stay longer, but she can say no and quite frankly she may have an emergency and petty court cases aren’t going to change that.

I'm not sure why people are feeling the need to be so snitty and sneering about this notice being a 'luxury'/how awful that the parents might have to step up/housekeepers belong to the 1930s etc. Have a word with yourselves.

OP, I like the advice to try to find a solution like her staying on a bit longer or coming back after she's dealt with the issue.

What is the sensational bit?

What is a housekeeper?

If it is a genuine family issue eg mum has cancer with two months to live; DH has brain tumour etc I understand why she can’t give more notice. Seems odd you haven’t actually asked her - not in a nosy way but a “Gosh, that sounds stressful, I know our notice period was 8 weeks so this must be something very serious, anything we can do to help over the next couple of weeks?” type of approach.

Looks like there is no point in having a notice period of contract then, let’s hope op is not a surgeon or similar and can work from home.

@tara66

Why do some people pretend not to know what a housekeeper is? Are those people just jealous/Marxist? If not, use a dictionary - or Google if dictionaries are passe; you do not know what they are either or you think they are too middle class.

I originally asked this question. I am not jealous and not a Marxist either (although I do tend to vote Labour and have visited the Great One's burial monument in Highgate Cemetery). I only know housekeepers from watching Downton Abbey and similar period dramas. I thought a housekeeper was the manager of other servants? A sort of head of the Help? It prompted me to wonder idly if the OP had an entire fleet of staff.

Please do correct me if I am wrong although in fact, thinking about it I couldn't actually give a fuck

Sensational is shagging your husband, step son or both- bonus points for at the same time.

Your nanny resigned.

Sensational? You mean she didn't escape into the sunset with the local Amazon delivery guy?

Start looking. Ask her if she can be flexible and work beyond two weeks if you can't find a replacement that quickly. I think that if I wsn't going to work my notice period, I would give my employer more of a reason than 'family issues'. Ultimately yes she can just leave, but I would hope you ahd built up enough of a relationship with her for her to explain why she is leaving so suddenly.

Have you thought about writing for the Daily Mail?