Nanny sensationally quit

[fancytiles]

Wondering how you would handle this, our nanny we have had for 7 months has just quit out of the blue giving 2 weeks notice (in the contract we have with her, which she drafted, it says she needs to give 8 weeks notice). In total shock and feeling really let down. She said it's a family matter.

Ring a temp agency for temporary cover whilst you find a new nanny. Family emergencies happen and trying to enforce a contract on someone in such circumstances is futile, as well as bad practice. From another PoV she may already be stretching things to give you two weeks to find a temp.

What I would do is talk to the nanny about the situation with a bit of empathy and see if what they actually need is an extended leave period which I could cover with a temp, rather than to leave entirely. (this assumes you want to keep the nanny)

Either way you need a temp for now and to mutually agree the next contract rather than one side taking all responsibility for it.

People are being ridiculous. If this were any other employment relationship she would next expected to work her notice. Shame on you for having a nanny, OP. I think that's the gist of the responses so far.

You had a contract with an 8 week notice period. Do you want her to work it? If so you could sit down with her and point out the clause, saying she has an obligation to stay, but you might be willing to let her out early if you find a suitable replacement sooner. Unfortunately there isn't really much you can do legally to enforce a notice period, but you could threaten to withhold a reference. If she genuinely has terrible personal circumstances, some arrangement around compassionate leave might have been agreed amicably but as she has simply handed in her notice the nanny has taken that option off the table.

Oh my goodness gracious, just terrible.

I would not offer to give her a reference though and if she asks for one, I would refuse.

In the middle of a pandemic and you would refuse a reference to an employee leaving for a family emergency (who has actually still left you time to find a temp)? You would just assume they are lying?

@thedancingbear

FFS. What are you going to do, force her to work her notice period? 4

In practical terms, exactly how are you going to do that ?. I guess you could take legal action but if she doesn't have any money you're wasting your time.

People can hardly endure being cooped up with their own families at this point being cooped up with somebody else's family must be so tough.

People are being ridiculous. If this were any other employment relationship she would next expected to work her notice. Shame on you for having a nanny, OP. I think that's the gist of the responses so far.

I haven't commented yet but I wouldn't ask her to work her notice as I wouldn't want someone reluctantly caring for my children. In the current climate it's likely she has a family emergency. I couldn't give two hoots if someone had a nanny or not.

If she genuinely has terrible personal circumstances, some arrangement around compassionate leave might have been agreed amicably but as she has simply handed in her notice the nanny has taken that option off the table

Again, first assumption is that she is faking it and talk of witholding references.

And of course the diiscussion hasn't been taken off the table. I've had several people offer their notice over the past year, all due to pandemic related family circumstances. In each case sitting down and talking to them has enabled us to find a better solution for both sides.

I used to be a nanny and tbh it doesn’t sound like a great relationship if she hasn’t elaborated or asked you for some help with the situation (depending on the circumstances it may have been she could stay with some flexibility from you). Perhaps have a chat with her and see if there is a way forward if she is a nanny with keeping? If not then there really is little you can do except get organising her replacement

I was expecting the flounce of the century or something

Disappointed .

Sorry no help

I dunno why everyone is aghast at ‘housekeeper’. Where I work (west London) it’s very common, as is a nanny. I get the fact that this is a bit of a bubble here but there are areas where it’s not an odd thing at all.

Did she have much experience beforehand? I think of it’s only been seven months you’re not entitled to much more of a notice period than that, plus she’s probably got holiday she can give in leau of a notice period.

As a nanny myself though, I’m curious
-did you pay her through the proper channels? (Nanny tax, pension etc- we are entitled)

• was the job advertised as sole charge and due to the pandemic in fact it is anything but now you’re at hone all the time? My boss is and it’s been a huge transition and I’ve had to establish lots of new boundaries to enable me to do my job effectively now she’s at home all day. If she didn’t respect those, I’d be off.

• have you made promises re days off/extra pay for extra hours and have not followed through on these?

• does she come in to your mess all over the kitchen every morning? Dried on cereal, sink piled high with last night’s washing up- it happens.

• is she confident with all the admin and extra work that has now come with the fact there’s no school? Did you discuss this with her? My job has taken on a new level of intensity due to this and if I wasn’t very experienced I’d find it tough- I’m a nanny, not a teacher.

These are all things that might prompt me to hand in my notice.

That's not the gist of my response. If you're suggesting that there's envy on this thread, then you have absolutely no idea of people's circumstances and you'd be wrong to assume anything. I think mumsnet is just a bit covid-centric at the minute, so it makes a change to be able to get excited at someones thread that over promises and under delivers. It held so much hope, in a world where we have none 😁

Well this was disappointing

I do think it's bad practice to not work the notice she insisted upon without giving a proper reason. I wouldn't be happy with that, if it left me struggling to find new child care.
Next time don't agree to 2 months - it doesn't seem to give you any protection. Build in notice according to length of employment. So 2 weeks for a year or less, one month for 1-3 years.
I'd (nicely) ask her for a better explanation and remind her the notice was her idea and try to establish what has gone wrong

After 7 months in employment she only has to give 1 week legally. Bit disappointed the thread is not living up to the title 🤣🤣

You sound well posh

[quote fancytiles]@RicStar yes it's the first nanny we have had and I let her draft the contract as I was not sure where to start. I would imagine she put the 2 month notice period in to protect herself, I can remember thinking at the time it was long. You're right there isn't really anything we can do if she's said she's leaving and I could be naive and new to the nanny game here but we have only ever employed a housekeeper before and have had the same one for 7 years so I'm just so shocked that she has done that so suddenly especially as it's a much more personal role than being a housekeeper! [/quote]
“I let her draft the contract”. WTAF?!

Hope you met your legal responsibilities around leave etc.

“Sensationally”

Someone has been reading too many tabloids.

Ain’t nothing sensational about that!

I don't see a problem with someone having a nanny and housekeeper if they can afford it. A nanny can be a great type of childcare and if someone can pay a housekeeper to do household stuff to free up the nanny to concentrate on the kids and to spend quality time with their kids during their own free time instead of catching up on household stuff then great

That’s hardly sensational 🤦🏼‍♀️

We're you expecting her to do housekeeping duties too. I hope not. I expect the family matter is an excuse to leave. Ask her why she isn't abiding by the notice period.

Very shit and unprofessional of her to not work the full notice in the contract. Make sure you only pay her for the two weeks she works.

Annoying to be left in the lurch like that OP but it happens. Hope you find someone to take her place soon and make sure to wish Exiting Nanny good luck with her family issue.

Housekeeper derail coming:

It's very Mumsnet to be aghast at a 'housekeeper', and even to pretend they don't know what one could possibly be/OR that they only existed in the 50s, but, you know, some people have huge houses, busy lives and lots of money so they employ someone else to do all the housey stuff.

I love reading Sits Vac in The Lady mag - "Housekeeper Wanted"

Apparently you need 'fantastic organisational skills' and be 'of the highest calibre' so I won't be applying but now I come to think of it, my lovely Nan WAS a live-in housekeeper/cook for a rich old lady near Cirencester. I used to go and stay with her in school holidays and once was paid 50p for sweeping up leaves in the orchard, which I spent on sweets.

I hope you were not as over-dramatic with her as you have been over this thread. A surprise yes and inconvenient, but unless the family emergency is a blatant lie and can be proven as such, I think you've just got to accept it as unfortunate. Others have suggested next steps.