Routine or not?

[clarino]

I've recently read the Contended Little Baby book by Gina Ford and the Baby Secrets Book by Jo Tantum and am really worried that if I am not following a strict daily routine then my baby will be a difficult todler. I currently breastfeed every 3 hours, but am stuggling with the sleep routines suggested in these books. I'm also concerned that if I was to follow the books routines, then when would i ever leave the house, do the housework, shopping and cook dinner etc. Is it ok to be flexible? My daughter seems to be content and doesnt cry much.
Can anyone suggest a book/routine which is a little more flexible than the ones listed above.

Throw books away!

Listen to your instincts and you baby. Every three hours is some form of routine and if she seems contented then that's fab! She will sleep when she's tired and wake when she's hungry and she's not crying much which sounds fab to me!

The sleep routines will sort themselves out when she has a bigger tummy and can hold more food. Just enjoy this special time and lots of cuddles with her!

try your own DD's routine! Feed her when she's hungry, let her sleep when she's tired, and change her when she is dirty. Simple.

...and a little flexibility never made a difficult toddler...

Chuck the books out. Use your instinct girl.

i think gurus of any kind are over rated and you should have more confidence in your own instincts and parenting aproach - that said - if you need to read a book or employ a method then you realy need to find this out for yourself. all this thread is in danger of doign is saying " well my kid was a gina baby and is fab" and other saying " its DEVILS WORK!" all based on personal experiences you see - and each personal experience by defualt is a judgement of another parenting style.

i think you have to work out your life and what fits best.

PS

and its fine to be flexible! Now go on, have a biscuit and a cuppa!

I used Tracy Hogg's books for reference and ds is now almost 2 and thrives on routine, in the first year it will feel as if you never get into any routine, because they develop so quickly their needs changes, ie. ds slept three hours from 1-4 every day from about 13months until about 2 months ago, he is now down to 2,5 hours and I suspect soon down to less as he gets older. I've kept his bedtime routine the same since birth only changing the time as he got older, remember that the "time schedules" you're given are just numbers on a piece of paper and your child will lead the way! It is up to you to make it work around your dd. I can recommend The Baby Whisperer anytime!

I must add, read it, interpret it and put it away.

I have girl friends who are following routines and they always say things like 'can't go outfor coffeebecause DD will fall asleep in pushchair and she's not supposed to sleep for another two hours' that kind of rubbish. and they are always stressed out. I was in the doctor's waiting room the other day and was listening in a conversation and one of the mums had 2 babies and said that she can't get out of the house, is constently stressed out, but' they are sleeping through the night!).

Well, I have two DS (2 yo and 6 mo) and I am always out, at the cafe, at the park, walking the kids.It's a lot less stressful and you get to enjoy things more.

So I wouldn't advice on a routine. Really not for me at all.

Emphatically NOT!

Dd and I came up with our very own little routine of sorts that suited us and was tweaked daily as needed.

I think one of the most powerful feelings of being a parent is taken away by these bloody 'gurus' who tell you what to do. You and your baby will learn together and you'll get it wrong and you'll get it right but YOU'LL do it.

And on a more practical note, my friends who did routines always seemed so harrassed and stressed by it all. At the time I did wonder if I would pay the price when they all got a bit older, but no - not much difference between them.

Message withdrawn

Agree with other posters, a routine can be a good thing if it works for you and your dc but not if you're trying to force them into one iyswim!

Remember, your dd hasn't read the book , throw them away and just enjoy!

I think some people like routine and some don't.I find routines suffocating, some like to know whats happening when.
You need to do what fits your style.
Toddlers tend to find their own routine.

I like the Tracy Hogg Baby Whisperer books. I read CLB also and took tips from both but more from Tracy Hogg who is more relaxed (and focuses her routines on the personality of the baby)

My DD is now 9 months old and the only "routine" she has in her 12 hour day is 3 meals a day, 3 bottles and an hour or so sleep after lunch. It gets easier as they get older.

Really depends on the baby - some take to routine, some dont.

I love a routine! It really helps me function on those fuzzy-head days. The one we have is the one we fell into at about 4-5 months. It doesn't really look much like the ones in any of the books, but suits us.

Also, even though I love my routine, I will quite happily forsake it if a nice opportunity comes up, either for DD or for me! Today everything went tits up because we went out for brunch with friends, but I refuse to be one of those mums who is tied to the house in the name of routine. And having a nap in the buggy while I do the shopping is part of DD's "routine" - who wants a baby that will only sleep at home, in the dark?

The books can be handy in giving you clues about amounts of daytime sleep at different ages, but they are only based on the average baby, and not the one you have at home! My dd still has less nap time than most recommend, but that's ok by us.

A bedtime routine is really helpful; a totally rigid day not.