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Parenting

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Original poster

is it me or him rant alert

15 replies

DARCYgirl · 24/10/2007 21:11

hi just to say hello & i hope you dont mind i need to talk & im going to rant here as im so annoyed with my husband ! my daughter is 18 months & is sleeping in our room still ( my husband hasnt got round to putting the curtain pole up in her room in our new house - errr we moved in 6 months ago!) he has taken to sleeping in the spare room as he gets up early & she wakes in the night. It has come to a head tonight as she wouldnt settle & he puts her to bed 2 times out of 7 lets say ( after a year of me breastfeeding her i think its only fair! ) & i just wanted to read etc & chill tonight & then she woke up at 8pm & he took all his time going up to see her &. I sleep in the same room as her & i see to her everynight in the middle of the night when she wakes & i thnink its because i am waking her when i go to bed even though im v quiet . anyway he has gone to bed ina huff & i just feel like a 2nd class citizen whos not allowed the luxury of sleep just beacuse i dont work in the day . Am i being unreasonable ?? sorry again for the rant !

OP posts:

thelittleElf · 24/10/2007 21:21

No you're not be unreasonable - it took two people to create her and needs two people to care for her Stick to your guns!

Original poster

DARCYgirl · 24/10/2007 21:23

thanks littleelf, i was talking to myself earlier saying much the same; he is her father after all !

OP posts:

thelittleElf · 24/10/2007 21:27

Can you arrange a time when you can go and meet up with a friend? Leave him to get her ready for bed and then you come back later on...see how he gets on

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Tortington · 24/10/2007 21:28

all this because of a curtain.

deary me - stop relying on him to get yourself happy. go get a nails and a hammer and hammer them up, go get velcro and glue and staples

get a curtain wire and hooks and put the thick curtain on it.

sort yer sell out girl!

thelittleElf · 24/10/2007 21:31

hmmm not sure this is really about the curtain tbh

Tortington · 24/10/2007 21:34

well that seems to be the reason for her not being in own room - allowing parental space - we all need space.

Original poster

DARCYgirl · 24/10/2007 21:44

yay thanks, i have tried myself to get the curtain up , boring details here .. but he wall is solid & he needs to bring some piece of equipment home to get the nails in the wall..you are right, i want space in my bedroom to read etc, we still have a sexlife its just not in the bedroom !

OP posts:

juuule · 25/10/2007 08:16

By hook or by crook I'd have some sort of rail up for the curtains if that was the problem. I'd either do it myself or get a friend to do it.
Can you catch up on some sleep during the day?

GarrottedbyElasticband · 25/10/2007 08:38

can you put dd in spare room?

make a stand about the bloody curtain rail.

GarrottedbyElasticband · 25/10/2007 08:45

even pay a handy man to do it!
or at least threaten to, can't you get special strong rall plugs from a DIY shop

Original poster

DARCYgirl · 25/10/2007 14:05

might just threaten him with getting a man in !, i do try & sleep in the day but find it so boring most of the time i donbt catch up with sleeping which makes things worse i think, thanks for your replies

OP posts:

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 25/10/2007 14:07

You don't nail up a curtain pole.
You need a drill.
It's easy.

juuule · 25/10/2007 15:02

Find what boring? Sleeping?

Fizzylemonade · 25/10/2007 16:24

I am a sahm and my husband gets up in the night for our children.

Why is is that because someone leaves the house to work and actually gets a break from the children that their sleep is somehow more important than those who stay home?

I do not consider myself to have a right to more sleep than DH and we have slept in shifts when it has been really bad (ie when one of our boys is really poorly and throwing up)

I would arrange for someone to come and put the curtain pole up and move your DD to her own room. We moved our ds2 (now 17 months) to his own room as he was disturbing our sleep everytime he rolled over and we were disturbing his.

I don't see the getting up in the night thing as a tit for tat issue, ie because one person gets up twice that means the other person has to get up for the next 2 times. If you want your DH to put your daughter to bed then you could either schedule it for certain nights of the week or on a required basis.

At the end of the day it is a partnership, maybe you need to go away for a weekend or a whole day for him to appreciate what it is like to look after a child 24/7.

juuule · 25/10/2007 19:21

Fizzylemonade - I'm a sahm,too. I don't think that it's more important for either partner to have more sleep than the other whether they work out of the home or in it. However, I do think that most of the time it is easier for the one at home to take time out, catch up on some sleep than the one who is out at work. I could always sleep when the baby was asleep or if it coincided with the toddler's nap. Dh on the other hand couldn't just put his head down at work and fall asleep. So I did most of the night stuff. We did do as you've said though and done shifts if we were going through a bad spell due to cranky babies/toddlers through illness or whatever. And which ever one of us needed the rest we attempted to let that one get the rest they needed.
I have done a full-time job out of the home with very little sleep (our first 3 children) and found it extremely difficult at times to do the job to the standard I was used to.

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