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Original poster

Baby awake for hours at night

90 replies

bleachblondemom · 27/12/2020 14:39

My baby is 10 days old and for the last few nights has been wide awake from about 10:30/11pm to nearly 3am. He cries and fusses and will only fall asleep on either me or DH then wakes up after about ten minutes in his Moses basket. Because he’s awake for that whole time, he realises he’s hungry sooner than he would if he was asleep, so for those 4 hours it’s just a cycle of feeding, winding and crying. Once he does go to sleep, he’s fine then for 4 or more hours. Then wakes, feeds, and back to sleep a bit more! I know it’s way too early for him to have a routine yet but I don’t know why he’s started doing this at that specific time. He is absolutely fine in the day, he doesn’t cry or show any signs of distress. Just eats, sleeps, and spends his awake time with us just looking around very happily. I’ve tried to stimulate him more in the evenings so that he’s tired and ready for bed when we are but hasn’t worked so far. Am I letting him sleep too much in the day maybe? I don’t know what else to do with him in the day as he’s too young to respond to playing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 30/12/2020 23:22

Absolutely remember it well. Done it twice, just about to go through it all again, but OP needs to think about the good things before she let's herself be taken over by this one thing. She has no other children to get up with in the morning, so can sleep until whenever she needs, her ds seems to be a pretty content, happy baby during the day, and most of the evening, and eventually does go to sleep.

Nancydrawn · 31/12/2020 00:04

Yes, OP, it sounds like he is a happy, healthy baby, and the insanity passes soon. Don't despair!

Fatas · 31/12/2020 00:47

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion then perhaps you'll remember that advice like 'just enjoy the cuddles' etc isn't always helpful when you're not even two weeks in. I think op gets it, she's just in that zone so to speak.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

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Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 31/12/2020 02:57

@Fatas I didn't give that kind of advice . My advice was not to let this one thing consume you. It's not been happening long, and the OP is getting completely obsessed over it. Sometimes a reminder of the good points is helpful. What exactly do you want me to say?

OhBaublesBaubles · 31/12/2020 03:19

Is he cold? Can you keep the heating on 24/7 but lowish like at 17*C?

OhBaublesBaubles · 31/12/2020 03:20

We've had a cold snap recently xx

OhBaublesBaubles · 31/12/2020 03:22

He's gone from being very toasty to being laid in a cold moses basket so the change in temp may be enough to rouse?

Original poster

bleachblondemom · 31/12/2020 06:29

Thank you everyone for being so understanding and helpful: I know its mainly my tiredness and hormones talking. All the things you guys are saying to me, I keep saying to myself too every day, but then every night this happens and I forget all the advice. And then I get upset with myself for being cross with a baby when it’s not his fault.
It is exactly right that I need to forget what ‘bedtime’ is and just sleep when I can. It’s just hard to get myself into that frame of mind.

And I may have only posted a few days ago but it’s been going on for a week.

OP posts:

KatieKat88 · 31/12/2020 06:44

OP I'm saying this kindly- it's going to continue for more than a week! But you will get through it and sleep will improve (and then get worse again for a bit, and then improve, and then get worse...) you're in for the long haul here so sleep when you can and adapt your expectations for your own sake. And eventually you'll get to the point where you see someone else posting a similar story and you'll have flashbacks to how tough it was and be genuinely thankful that yours now only wakes a few times and up for the day at 5.15 (definitely not projecting about 13 month old DD here...) what you're feeling is normal but also what your baby is doing is normal.

lcdododo · 31/12/2020 11:05

OP, you've just said a week

DS is 2 and still doesn't sleep through

I think you need to readjust your expectations

Original poster

bleachblondemom · 31/12/2020 11:50

It’s not about him not sleeping through. I never said I expected him to sleep through. I have no problem getting up with him several times in the night. My frustration is that he’s not even going down in the first place until the early hours of the morning. So I’m not ‘getting up’ with him, I’m just up for hours on end, after already being awake all day. That’s what is confusing me. Why he’s suddenly awake and in a fussy mood for that big chunk of time, and the same chunk of time every day.
I said the thing about it being a week because somebody commented saying it had only been 3 days.
Anyway we are doing shifts now and trying to figure out how is best to organise it.

OP posts:

flashbac · 31/12/2020 13:28

I've given up on Moses basket. They are shit. She wants to feel my body heat at night.

00100001 · 31/12/2020 14:32

The reason is because he's brand new and doesn't know there's a night and day,he'll be in his own rhythm.

It gets easier. I promise.

He will sleep for longer chunks of time in a few weeks.

Those first 2-3 weeks can feel like months though,as there's no real distinction between night and day. Just keep on going and it WILL get easier.

Fatas · 31/12/2020 14:39

Op, I repeat mine did this too. There's no rhyme or reason, don't try and find one. Your baby does not understand night and day. You just have to ride it out. It will get better... And then worse again.

Jadey31 · 01/01/2021 08:21

Hi OP. My DD is 25 days old and my first. I've definitely been where you are a couple of weeks ago. I thought my baby would sleep and only wake for a feed ect. How wrong was I 🙈 we tried all sorts, swaddling, putting her Moses basket in her next to me and it wouldn't work. I then looked up the 4th trimester and I wish I'd done that sooner! I found she will now only sleep on my chest so when I'm in bed I prop both my sides and arms up with pillows and she sleeps 3-3.5 hours at a time no problem! This is only at night. She'll happily go in her Moses basket during the day. I didn't want to co sleep but DD clearly does as I've now learnt it what babies want. I hope this helps xx

3rdtimelucky2019 · 01/01/2021 08:33

Every night, go to bed at 7 and leave your other half on duty until he goes to bed. That first block of sleep will make you feel more sane when the baby is asleep.

All babies when they're tiny have awake windows too, even in the night. So break down the time they are awake, so they'll want a feed, wind, bum change. Once all that is done, it won't be long until they're going to wind down and want a little bit of sleep. I didn't stick strictly to it but I followed The Blissful Baby expert on Insta - I don't like all her stuff but the newborn sleep routines are good.

It's really really hard when you're in the thick of it but each week there will be progress, even if it feels tiny at the beginning. And as difficult as it is, in the morning throw open the curtains and get baby ready for the day. Get baby wrapped up warm, put them in the pram and soak up all that daylight. It's really important for their internal clock to see the difference between night and day - and the walk will be amazing for clearing your head after a bad night.

Avvii · 01/01/2021 08:45

Totally normal. I used to go to bed at 6pm when my DS was a newborn to get some sleep in before the inevitable midnight party! Do you have the book Your Baby Week by Week? It’s really helpful and has lots of info on how normal this is (just like everyone on this thread it saying). You really do need to drop the idea of a bedtime for you and the baby to get through the newborn phase. It gets easier x

3rdtimelucky2019 · 01/01/2021 08:46

And just to add - you seem really stressed about the idea of putting the baby down for the night - so avoid that time. You have your first block of sleep very early in the evening, for example 7-11. Then you're not building yourself up to put the baby to sleep which you know isn't going to work anyway. That block of time can be your partner's responsibility - and from the sounds of it, all baby wants is to be held anyway.

Until they're 6 months, you just aren't going to get an evening to yourself so you need to switch your mindset to that. Even when mine would go down relatively early (8.30), because of safe sleep rules I'd go to our room at the same time and watch TV quietly.

The six months passed fast. Honest. Evening TV is rubbish anyway.

Original poster

bleachblondemom · 01/01/2021 13:27

Thank you new commenters, everything you’ve said is really helpful and reassuring. I’m going to try really hard not to let it stress me out and learn how to work around what LO wants to do.
After a very clingy day yesterday when he wanted to be held all the time, he was a star in the evening/night so I know he can do it but I won’t force him, we’ll work around him.

OP posts:

Respectabitch · 01/01/2021 13:32

he was a star in the evening/night so I know he can do it

I really do understand that you are struggling with the adjustment right now and just want a break, but I would strongly encourage you not to think of things in terms of the baby sleeping/going down in cot as him "being good" and knowing he can do it etc. He's not being good or bad, he's just being a baby and getting his needs met. His needs will vary by the day and that's normal and OK. On days when he needs more from you he's not "being bad". Going down that road can just really end up frustrating you more and building up resentment toward the baby, who can't be anything except what he is, a baby.

I tell you the 100% truth when I say that the best thing you can do for both of you is shift (and lower) your expectations as much as possible and just try and roll with each day as it comes.

Fatas · 01/01/2021 14:03

Agree with Pps it become so much less stressful when you let go of any expectations and just roll with it. Don’t expect baby to settle down or sleep and then you don’t become frustrated or disappointed

jessstan1 · 02/01/2021 08:04

@bleachblondemom

Thank you new commenters, everything you’ve said is really helpful and reassuring. I’m going to try really hard not to let it stress me out and learn how to work around what LO wants to do. After a very clingy day yesterday when he wanted to be held all the time, he was a star in the evening/night so I know he can do it but I won’t force him, we’ll work around him.

Aw bless him. He is so very little.

I never put mine up to bed, was always downstairs with us until we went up. He liked that and so did we.

Whatever works for you but do remember, there are no rules written in tablets of stone.

Original poster

bleachblondemom · 02/01/2021 12:45

@jessstan1 yeah he’s downstairs with us until we go upstairs. We have a little crib thing in the living room (turns into a bouncy chair when he’s bigger) and then Moses basket upstairs. I know he doesn’t have a problem switching between the two because I’ve tested him sleeping in his Moses basket during the day when I’ve wanted to spend a couple of hours doing stuff upstairs and he was happy. So he is with us at all times of the day and night, whatever room of the house we might be in.

OP posts:

jessstan1 · 02/01/2021 14:18

Sounds like you have it sorted then, op, or that it will sort itself in due course. He is in a very new environment, bless him.

Original poster

bleachblondemom · 02/01/2021 14:58

@jessstan1 thank you, I think we are getting there now. In that me & DH understand and accept what baby is doing and we need to go along with it!

OP posts:

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